Should i text him or ignore?

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Mary 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #931667 Reply


    I started talking to this guy breifly years ago on facebook. Then one day he just disappeared. Recently i matched with him on Tinder and Hinge. i gave him my cell number and we texted sporadically for a couple days. He finally asked me to have drinks one sunday. The day of he confirmed time but no place. I let a couple hours go by and finally texted about where were going to meet. No response. Then the time we were supposed to meet went by. He finally texted me after 7:30 saying how sorry he was and that his friend called him saying he needed to talk to him. To me it felt like a blow off. Then we were going to have drinks last night and he said it was too late and very last minute but he would like to see me. Im not sure if i should just blow this whole thing off or should i say something?

    #931668 Reply


    Don’t waste your breath in trying to call him out on his flakiness. Just move on…

    #931670 Reply


    Seriously… He stood you up.
    Why would you ever reconsider him?

    #931671 Reply


    I get that things come up. We are all human. But he asked if we could actually plan something soon. I guess i should just blow him off.

    #931674 Reply


    Hi Marie, mama and Raven are right. Forget this guy. Things definitely come up but breaking a date because a friend called him and needed to talk? Sorry but I’m not buying that.. he’s stringing you along. Cut the cord.

    #931676 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    I agree with the others. This guy’s already blown you off a couple of times. Unfortunately there are a lot of flaky guys out there in the world of app/online dating. Don’t waste your time with this one.

    #931677 Reply


    If we have a meet or talk time scheduled and you don’t show up, you’d better contact me with profuse apologies and a damn good reason why or I’m permanently done with you. In this day and age there is absolutely no excuse for not shooting a text or email or – gasp – calling beforehand to say you can’t make it, unless you’re in a coma or stranded in a mountain pass with no signal. I’m also intolerant of last minute cancellations for BS excuses.

    I’ve had a few guys I’ve met online set a time and day but no place. They get one text either the day before or that morning asking for the place and then I’m done with them if they don’t answer. And it’s a strike against them if I have to ask in the first place.

    In the cases of those that don’t answer, most don’t ever answer but I’ve had a few come back later with lame excuses or even act like nothing happened and I just block them. Their behavior is too far below the radar for me to even bother to say anything else to them. They’ll just argue back and blame you or throw some other time wasting nonsense at you.

    I’m valuable and my time is valuable and I expect both to be respected. I take a hard line with people who show right up front they’re flakes – they are eliminated, because I firmly believe if it happens once, shame on you, if it happens twice, shame on me.

    Block and don’t look back – and next time someone no shows and gives a weak excuse, just block and be grateful they showed up front they aren’t worthy.

    #931678 Reply


    Marie, he’s asking you to make a plan to plan something after not following through with actual plans twice. He’s not planning anything, he’s INTENDING to plan something. And his track record so far absolutely stinks.

    We don’t know the guy, we only know the facts you present and we aren’t emotionally invested in the outcome. You will just get more of the same if you continue. He is showing you exactly who he is right now — very flaky and not that interested or invested in seeing you.

    #931683 Reply


    I’ve had this happen to me plenty, and I made a long standing rule that if someone stands me up before we even meet, they don’t get a second chance. (Standing up is different than giving me an advanced heads up that they are sick or something is happening at work and they may need to postpone our meeting this one time, then in earnest rescheduling with a new day and time as soon as they need to cancel.) I once gave someone a do-over first date because his excuse for being a no show sounded just good enough. We had a fun date, and then he did the **same exact thing again** for the second date, and we never talked again. I’ve also had other online guys act flaky and inconsistent in this way because they had drinking problems.

    Remember that the beginning of dating is when they should be trying their hardest to make the best impression. Low effort, flakiness, and standing you up means they’re not worth your time and it won’t get better. It may even get worse! I am with the other posters in, you shouldn’t even bother with him.

    #931684 Reply

    Honesty Rocks

    This guy has been pretty clear. Hes a flake. Do you want this for yourself repeatedly or do you want better ? Jeez its a no brainer. Block block block.

    #940927 Reply


    Lol is his name Jaymes? Sounds a lot like this douche canoe I knew. Fortunately I saw through his crap and blocked him. He’s playing you. Never meet someone flaky or one who shows up late.

    #940953 Reply


    This is an easy one… you should just move on because he’s not that into you. Do you really want to come across as desperate by sticking around? have your dignity..block him.

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