Home › Forums › Texting Advice › Should I send Happy Bday to the guy who rejected me?
- This topic has 22 replies and was last updated 8 years, 1 month ago by
Whitesunn.
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Cee
This guy and I hooked up some time ago. He told me he doesn’t want a relationship and that he has mixed feelings about me.
It’s his birthday today. I want to send him a short birthday text because I still care. I don’t want to annoy him either and seem pushy. Should I do it or just let it go?
Girls/guys, how do you feel when an ex wishes you happy birthday?
Lucy
Absolutely! Knock yourself out.
Lucy
But seriously? Why is this even a thought in your little mind?
Vanessa
No! Why?? Believe me, he won’t notice or care. You’ll be one of many. Read the latest article at the site R u l e s R e v i s i t e d
Lucy
Tough love here: do some people just wake up and pee stupid?
Tallspicy
No no no. This is not because you care, but because you think there is a chance. He knows where to find you. Lose his number.
Debby
You want to wish the man that rejected you a happy birthday? Did you hear yourself? Did you read what you just wrote? Why would you even give this man the time of day?!
Girl, let it go. You shouldn’t be following him on social media or keeping in touch with him.
Put him in the discard pile and empty the recycle bin.
Bye.
Van1962
Just let it go. He won’t appreciate it, because he doesn’t care. :-\
Maria
I had the same question a couple of months ago, posted it here. Ask yourself, why are you doing it, if it is even remotely because you want to see him or hear from him, then don’t.
Otherwise, it is not a big deal, it will pamper his ego, but so what.
You can “Happy Birthday from me and my calendar reminder”. lol
Mystique
Don’t waste your time, especially with a guy who has no interest in you. You just face further dejected feelings when there is no reply or he is very short with his response. I’ve been there, done that and learned my lesson. Like the rest of the ladies say, move on, drop his number. Do something that feels good to you and look to date others that are more compatible.
Raven
You want to send him a Happy Birthday text to jiggle his chain & hope – just hope that he will see the light of day & change his mind about you…
Then when he does not reply or replies kurtly, you’ll be in a whole new world of hurt…
Here’s the best advice on his birthday … Delete his number from your phone & move forward …
Cee
Thanks everyone for the replies! I’m glad you all put some sense back into me.
It hurts a lot because I had so many surprises for his birthday and I wanted to make him happy.
But we wanted different things. He doesn’t want a relationship, I do. He rejected me last month and told me he wasn’t interested anymore. It crushed me but I’m trying to move on. I know it wasn’t my fault, we just weren’t looking for the same things from the start.
Part of me hopes to get things back like in the beginning, but he’ll sense that I am pushing for more and will reject me again.
I’m glad I didn’t text him or I would have seem like a crazy stalker. But despite all, I wish him peace and happiness.
Khadija
Oh no honey find someone else to text.
His birthday will be happy whether or not you text him.@ Debby love the new pic! How are you?
A.
I agree with the ladies who told you to lose this guy’s number. Why would you ever give a moment’s attention to a guy who dumped you? Ladies please have some self respect. Some of you make me so sad.
Cee
I guess I keep thinking about him because I didn’t want things to end. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just invested my feelings too soon, too quickly. He said he got used to being single and I know that no matter what I’d have done he wouldn’t have changed his mind.
redwine
although I guess this forum has a lot of good advice, I’m sometimes surprised how black and white sometimes it can be in here. Sending a simple birthday wish is low self respect?? I’ve had quite many guys in my life who I have technically “rejected”, because I felt after some going out that they weren’t the right ones or I just didn’t have those necessary feelings or whatever. It’s not that I rejected them in bad ways, I still respect and care about them. If all of those guys would delete me off and not even showed me as simple courtesy as sending a birthday wish, I would think really weird about them.
Well, I guess people think so differently indeed… for me a birthday wish is a common courtesy and has nothing to do with a chasing, stalking, low self esteem etc.
Cee
Now I’m confused. At it’s 10.30 pm so maybe it’s too late
Maria
Cee, did you send it or not?
Cee
No, I didn’t
Teri
if you didn’t still have feelings for him and didn’t care if he replied or not then I’d say go for it. BUT your not there so don’t do it.
I’ve gotten and received text from exes (then again none of them rejected me b4 so a bit different) and I simply say thank you and keep it going.
same with father’s day and Christmas. I just go down my list and send ’em out. who gives a crap if I get any back or not. The ones I expect a return from (real friends and fam only) are the ones that matter. everyone else can shit bricks for all I care LOL.
Teri
I stand corrected…………….one did kinda reject me do to our age differences almost 13 yrs ago. Guess what? he still emails and texts me from time to time. we exchange holiday and b’day greetings but he thought I was too young looking for him and decided to stay friends which we have all these years.
I felt rejected back then, but he kept our platonic friendship in tact and I love n respect him for that. We both say ILY whenever we do talk but we know that’s as far as it goes. He has become my ‘cry on my shoulder’ guy friend throughout my relationships since.
Raven
Again, if you are sending the HB wishes to try & coerce a romantical response – you will be disappointed …
Whitesunn
Ever try to drive a car forward while looking in the rear view mirror? ;-D You wouldn’t get very far because you’d be so busy looking at the scenery behind you, you couldn’t drive forward very well and that wonderful, caring, special, sexy guy you WANT who will remember YOUR birthday AND every other SPECIAL thing about YOU may get totally missed because some ILLUSION/INFATUATION you have about the guy in the past is taking up space and time in your head. WHY!
This is a good example of taking life at face value. Be matter of fact– he said…it’s not there with you. Wonderful! You’re still awesome! It means you have to keep getting clear about who you are and the kind of guy that really makes YOU feel amazing and special.
So many people come up here and have a lot of emotional confusion, trying to be mind readers, or emotional readers to get in someone else’s head — filled with insecurity and second guessing and self-doubt. But isn’t the answer always there when we check in with ourselves and our heart? Don’t we ignore huge red flags waving in our faces because we have some kind of agenda, fear, etc.? I think it’s great when the awesome people here come forward and show the red flags and point out the blind spots.
Do you realize just the fact that you asked for input -you already knew you were ignoring your own intuition and gut? AND you were nervous about going through with it. THAT’s exactly the kind of feeling you should use to guide you in making a decision like this in the future. If you feel weak or not in your power…STOP. This is not a cliff dive where you know you’re going to feel fear and do it anyway. This is your intuition saying, “He isn’t a friend, he’s a guy you got intimate with and he didn’t connect. Great, it was fun physically, now let’s move on.”
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