Should I or shouldn’t I ..

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  • #795667 Reply

    Miss confused

    My fiancée admitted that his ex would speak to him on the odd occasion when he met me. I asked him politely to cut off all ties in which he did. A few months down the line she messaged him on Instagram in which he replied and told her that he’s moved on and doesn’t want to be contacted again. She didn’t reply .. I don’t know why it keeps bugging me I feel like as if I wanna know why she was so comfortable messaging him or am I just being psycho?

    #795670 Reply


    You’re fiancé did exactly what you ask him to do…
    Why are you hung up on this?

    #795672 Reply


    Yes, you *may be* a controlling psycho because its often a sign of insecurity. Those who feel really safe, secure, and sure, about their relationship wouldn’t bat an eye if the ex reached out or not, especially if its been a good bit of time after the breakup/divorce, and they’ve reached the stage of ‘indifference.’ (don’t love but don’t hate them either). I have a couple exes who reach out from time-to-time but its always neutral, asking or telling me something, and often needing some advice or a “hey how ya doing?” just to catch up especially if we haven’t spoken in a long time (year or more).

    How long ago did they break up? What is the context of her contact with him? If its neutral, such as her asking him for help on something, or if he’s heard from such and such, or asking the name of something they went to because she can’t recall, or general catch up chit chat, then I wouldn’t worry about it. People do have nostalgic moments, start thinking about a person, ex or not, and just want to see how they are, especially with this whole COVID thing. I think more people are connecting to make sure others are OK, ex or not. I did with my ex husband, my sons, my sister, brother, etc. It could have been that just to see if he was OK?

    #795679 Reply


    You’re fiance hasn’t done anything wrong, I mean he can’t control if she reaches out to him or obeys his wishes when he tells her he doesn’t want to be contacted.

    Try to not make a big thing out of it. I know it’s hard but trust me, if he loves you he will stay consistent and push women away who are after him. If he’s done nothing to lose your trust then you can sleep soundly.

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