Should I or shouldn’t I ..

Yes, you *may be* a controlling psycho because its often a sign of insecurity. Those who feel really safe, secure, and sure, about their relationship wouldn’t bat an eye if the ex reached out or not, especially if its been a good bit of time after the breakup/divorce, and they’ve reached the stage of ‘indifference.’ (don’t love but don’t hate them either). I have a couple exes who reach out from time-to-time but its always neutral, asking or telling me something, and often needing some advice or a “hey how ya doing?” just to catch up especially if we haven’t spoken in a long time (year or more).

How long ago did they break up? What is the context of her contact with him? If its neutral, such as her asking him for help on something, or if he’s heard from such and such, or asking the name of something they went to because she can’t recall, or general catch up chit chat, then I wouldn’t worry about it. People do have nostalgic moments, start thinking about a person, ex or not, and just want to see how they are, especially with this whole COVID thing. I think more people are connecting to make sure others are OK, ex or not. I did with my ex husband, my sons, my sister, brother, etc. It could have been that just to see if he was OK?