Should I get into something casual?

You posted this question yesterday as Ariana “I Don’t Know What To Do”. FYI, it’s against the site rules to post the same question using a different name so the admin will show up and warn you once and ban you if you keep doing it.

You seem to really want to do this and disregard that you’re going to be sleeping with a married man. So go ahead and do it and quit posting about it. No one here is going to tell you it’s OK but you seem to be desperate for sex and not yet mature enough to figure out that if you play with fire you’re going to get burned.

You are getting creepy, young lady. Suppose you meet mr right someday. How would you explain this disgusting thing you are contemplating.

The massive amount you typed and all the details you told in your saga above indicates you don’t have much common sense, morals, self control, etc.

What, are you a wild animal that goes after whatever smells musky? Like, you don’t plan on exercising any common sense or self control.

Yeah, like I said, explain that when you meet a really nice available man.

That would be an embarrassing secret to hide for the rest of your life.

Knowingly starting an affair with a married man. Good one.

I mean, you really can’t claim to be a keeper to some nice man in the future if this is how you have conducted yourself so far.

Would you want a man whose former girlfriend had a husband and kids in another town?

This man is a total creep. He just wants to get screwed. And you are flattered? Yuck.

The title is utterly misleading: “should i have an affair with a married man” is really what you are asking. And no you shouldn’t , but you are going to. So just do it and stop posting the same question on here. No one in their right mind is going to tell you its a great idea. Karma is a b

If you want to have sex, I would guess you could easily meet a single available guy. You would be having sex with a married man who has no interest in being with you, just using you for sex. It seems like he is even arranging it in a way like it’s prostitution by offering to buy dinners, plays- as a way to pay for it and not feel the guilt. This will never turn it in your favor I’m sorry to say.

He’s claiming he is interested in me overall. My personality, intellectualism, and we are overall attracted to each other. He said he’d like to go out and do dinners, talk, and such to prove it wasn’t just some hidden sex relationship only. He said he couldn’t just sleep with just anyone, he wanted to be interested in her mind, life, career, and more.

I asked him why he hadn’t gone after anyone else at work. There are plenty of cute girls. He said he really liked my personality and was attracted to my look and had never been with anyone else before ever.

He said he and his wife barely had any relations in 2018. Last time he initiated was new years of 2018 into 19. He said it was terrible. She acted like she didn’t even want to be there and wasn’t enjoying anything. That’s when this whole arrangement went down. She told him he could find someone else if he wished. Not to tell her about it. She didn’t feel like having sex, pretty much ever again. He hasn’t had any sex since that new years night. He said he wasn’t going to just go on Tinder for some hookup. He actually wanted to date someone with all that came with. Talking, dinners, activities, almost like having a girlfriend.

I know you are right and I know deep down I need to hear it. I typed this out to send to him when he reaches out next: let me know what you think….

Thank you for spending time with me and going through all the effort. I had a good time with you. I am attracted to you, but I want to be in someone’s life where things are very clear, and I can be a priority. I just don’t see us doing whatever it is we’d be doing as meeting my needs ever, as it has to be hidden and temporary. Your priorities will always be your wife and family, as it should be. I acknowledge the attraction we share, and I do wish circumstances in your life were different. I just cannot accept being a woman who fills a sexual void. I think I offer and deserve more.

It sounds great and you are clear on your feelings and thoughts. It is important to set a boundary with this man and follow through with not responding to his advances. He may read what you write and say I understand, that’s too bad and stop initiating with you (this is what he should do). Or he may say, I understand and try to convince you further about how he and his wife do not have a relationship. That’s fine and everything, but you have to set the boundary as to what you want which is to be a priority and in a clearly defined relationship as that is what you deserve.

Carol, thats all fine, but you are writing an add for the wrong paper. To me it still sounds you like to convince him of chosing you? Just say, im 30, at some point i like a partner and maybe start a family so wasting my time on a married man wont serve me any good

Who are you trying to fool? This message is clearly an invitation for him to talk you out of what you are saying. How about a simple thanks but no thanks, and mean it. I’m getting annoyed with you. You are not going to drop him.

You are asking him to use his words to make it ok.

I think you’re overthinking the message. And I have to agree that it sounds like you want him to try to convince you out of it. There’s no need to acknowledge the attraction you feel for him multiple times in a short message, what’s that all about? The longer and more convoluted the message you give him, the easier it will be for him to find a loophole and talk you out of it. But I get the feeling that’s secretly what you want.

You’re 30, you want a husband and family eventually. He can’t give you that. The best you can hope for with him is being his side piece and you’re better than that. That’s all you need to tell him.

How about this; No thanks- you’re married… (you slime ball)