Home › Forums › Texting Advice › Sending guys long text messages
- This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 8 years, 5 months ago by
Alicia.
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Alicia
When I like a guy, I sometimes forget they’re not like girls and don’t like long text messages. So I sent a guy I liked a few long text messages. He did respond to them. But they weren’t pointless me stupid. I was asking him a question for work be wanted to make sure he had background info. Anyway he straight up told me that my long messages were killing him and he barely had time to read them. I got so embarrassed after that. So I apologized and told him I won’t bother him again. And he tells me it’s fine he would rather have me tell him facts. Now I just feel really stupid and annoying and I know I came off like that. Now I just feel like I can never talk to him again. Am I just being too sensitive about this?
redcurleysue
First of all it is ok that you made a mistake. People make mistakes all the time. You said you were sorry and he accepted that apology. He even made a joke by telling you that you are “killing” him…lol.
So, take it in stride and learn to laugh at yourself. Learn to keep your messages brief…lots of people DO NOT like to read. They would rather have a phone call or face to face conversation.
Keep those fingers off the buttons….back away from the cell….lol.
Alicia
I know. He was cool with it, which I appreciate. But I still feel really embarrassed about it. Like he probably thinks I’m needy and desperate or something. I don’t come off like that on texts. He probably thinks I’m trying too hard or something but I’m just super wordy on text.
Missindependent
I’ve done this more than once smh… Lol
Sara
It’s just hard sometimes when you’re texting a guy you’re really excited about…But if he’s cool with it then move on and don’t do it again…Learning what makes your partner tick is all the fun in dating isn’t it?
Amanda
Hon, don’t stress! We all do embarrassing things with people we really like. That’s life. I’m guilty of the long messages myself. My bf hates it. But I can’t help it sometimes.
Nellie
Ugh… I’ve texted like 84524 paragraphs… LOL
ProbablyJustCrazy
Lol I am normally a pretty wordy texter myself and I notice now if I send short, super direct texts to this guy it’s like he questions if I’m mad or being cranky?
Alicia
I just feel like I totally turned him off to me forever…Oh well, at least I learn not to do that again next time. Do guys typically freak out though? Or do they usually get over it quickly? I know he’ll tell me not to overthink it. But I still feel stupid about it.
redcurleysue
That is the great thing about men….when it is over it is over. They do not remember things the way women do….think about it…how many times does a man say, “Wow, women have a long term memory”….
Do not be embarassed…this is actually funny if you see it that way instead of putting so much stock into this one thing. It really really really is not that big a deal….it is not like you wrecked his car or wrecked his car….lol.
MsAqua
If he really likes you, this won’t turn him off of you, besides, guys know we like to talk a lot, your job is now to tone it down and not bring it up again. Just mirror him.
I’m OCD and tend to over explain EVERYthing, I do this at work and in my personal life, and my ex used to tell me to break my communication down into smaller chunks which is easier for him to process. And this is a highly intelligent guy that said this to me.
Another guy in the picture now, and I got a little over excited two or three times, sending some long emails (he’s abroad travelling). He would respond, but with one liners/asking if we could rather talk on Skype, I got the message loud and clear, lol, so I started “giving” him what he gives me, or even a little less. These days HE is the one sending ME the long emails, I can’t help but chuckle every time this happens :p I try to curb it though, so that we have more to talk about when we do Skype.
(Ps Don’t say stuff like “I won’t bother you again” though, it sounds kinda pathetic and/or passive aggressive, which is lame/unattractive.)
Tungsten
Alicia, I’m sure there’s no need to feel stupid, you were just being yourself. I even find it a bit rude or TOO straightforward that he told you “he barely had time to read them”. it’s ok he let you know he prefers shorter texts, so just keep that in mind for the future, but it’s really not necessary to stress over it or feel guilty and ashamed over something so innocent
Lily
I do sometimes forget I’m not texting my best mate. I normally send a few different messages, never in one text but thats just me being annoying xD. But when I’m talking to a guy I try make sure what I’m saying is necessary for him to read. Especially if i know he’s busy at work or something like that. But don’t think too much about what you write other wise it wrong sound natural and like you & you shouldn’t have to second guess everything you write anyway. Don’t be embarrassed about him saying that at alllll. After all its just texting. But maybe don’t apologise to him again, he might see that as a bit needy & we know most guys like to chase!
Alicia
Thanks everyone! You’re totally right. I just feel like I took him on a crazy rollercoaster over the past few days with my oversharing. I tend to do that sometimes. But I guess it says something about him if he actually read through them all. I’m definitely going to cool it for a good long while though. He is a busy guy so I’m sure whenever we do talk again he’ll totally forget about it.
Vanessa
And I agree with MsAqua…the “I wont bother you again” made me cringe. You could’ve responded in a joking manner like a “my bad” But the whole incident, no big deal. He was straight forward so you can become self aware. Win-win :-)
Alicia
I know, I realize that now! At the moment it kind of just me and got me all weird and emotional like OMG he thinks I’m a psycho. I could’ve done the joking thing, but at the moment I just got hit with all this self awareness like what are you doing?!
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