Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Seeing each other 2 months i like him… help!
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Renee.
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Renee
hi girls,
I need girl help from people that don’t know me. So i like this guy… we have been seeing each other 2 months now we go out at least once a week sometimes 2 we both have busy schedules and i want to take it super slow – but i want to see him more than 1 – 2 times a week i want to increase that. i told him 2 weeks ago that i like him and he said he isn’t after anything serious… i was annoyed that men think because we say we like them that means we want to get married next week haha i had to explain by what i meant by like as in i like your company, the sex is amazing and we always have the best time together i said its inevitable for feelings not to occur when you spend time with someone so much – he agreed and that was that. i don’t want to move things quickly but i do want to see him more i want to text him more i just don’t know how to do that without coming across needy as so far i have played this game really well…. help please :)
xredcurleysue
I am sorry to say this but I see warning flags here. You told him you “like” him and he said “nothing serious”. I do not think this guy wants to get closer to you – he seems that he wants to maintain distance and that is not a good sign for getting closer at this point.
Do not initiate more contact – he will run. If anything pull back and reconsider your needs at this point and what he tells you he is willing to give (very little).
When you pull ahead of a man you have to backtrack to his pace. Anything else is a disaster.
You really need to re-evaluate if this is what you want given it may/may not get better.
Talllady
At two months, he knows if he wants more, and he basically said he doesn’t and in guy talk, that means he won’t. You will not get more from him. If that is what you want, I think you need to find someone else.
When men say they are not looking for something serious, and are not acting like they want so,etching serious, believe them.
Hugs, and I am sorry!
Vanessa
He said he doesn’t want anything serious. You say yourself that it’s inevitable for feelings not to occur when you spend so much time together, so you’re setting yourself up for disaster but wanting to spend even more time when he still won’t want to get more serious with you. You’ll be confused because you’ll feel you have such good times and sex BUT he still won’t want anything serious and he’s already told you. Don’t think you’ll change his mind once you show him how amazing you are. Keep this in mind.
Renee
Thanks girls – ok but i am confused as i met his parents on Sunday we spent the entire day together he came to my GF’s for lunch and it was all good. I stay all night as he asks me to… its day 2 and i have heard nothing :( we have tickets to the basketball on sunday so i will see him then. I thought i had played this whole thing cool, I am recently un-engaged of 4 months i left my ex so something serious for me right now is to much but i want us to be exclusive to one another.
How do i change things around and get him to want me? he says he loves hanging out he talks about me to his friends but NO text??? I’m thinking WTF over here! so i am not going to text him… i guess i have to wait for him to text right?
Liz
OMG!Renee, I know exactly what you are going through as I was going through the same. When you have that connection that you just don’t get you think, this is great! And then they do that. There is no magic way ‘to play the game’ that will really change how things work out. I think you need to be honest with your feelings and if he doesn’t bite, hes never going t. I’d also start dating someone else. Always good to have someone in the wings I find to lighten the blow.
Liz hugs and kisses xx
m
Sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend. Is that what you want from him? I would be confused by meeting his parents as well but some people are more casual around their family than others when it comes to introducing people… he considers you a friend so that could be all that was, if he’s saying nothing serious and has pulled away from you.
If you are happy with just friends with benefits then this may still work, if you pull back and give him space to come to you. But when you eventually want more, then what will you do? Can you enjoy him as a FWB and walk away when you’re ready for a more serious relationship? (you can be exclusive FWB you just have to negotiate that with him)
Lagirl
Meeting friends and family is not an indication he wants more than fWB…
A man can act like a bf but not want to be one and in your case he is outright saying he does not want anything serious.. Such as bf/gf.
You can’t make someone want you.. It has to be of his own accord.
Renee
Oh girls your advice is fantastic! i agree with you all and I’m not interested in going ahead with him, i don’t particularly want a F buddy nor do i want something serious i want someone who will commit but be cool about it and take it slow. its a shame because he is gorgeous haha this dating game is hard… especially since i have been out of it for 3 years i feel like a lost dog trying to work it out. I love this forum its so good to chat to girls that have no judgement over your situation just give you honest upright advice :) xxx
Dee
Ok….I am going to chime in here. A guy doesn’t always know right away when he wants a relationship or not. Sometimes you just aren’t in a place where you can have one but that could change….for men and women. You have been with him for 2 months, you told him how you felt…now let it go and stop being so available to him. Go enjoy your life and if he decides to join in then he does. If he doesn’t then he doesn’t. STOP STRESSING over it! People can sense this and it’s unattractive
Lane
I agree with Dee.
Of course a guy doesn’t want to dive head first into a relationship as he needs to spend some time with a woman to decide if he wants to proceed with her or not, but there are a lot of guys who straight out aren’t looking for a relationship with you or anyone for that matter and just ‘killing time’ until they’re ready or happen across that one woman who complete knocks his socks off.
Guys have an innate ability to KNOW if your ‘that woman’ or not pretty quickly (first to few dates), however they may take two to three months to make sure its not one of those temporary feelings, such as lust, infatuation, etc. Even if they’ve fallen in love they do know that the woman’s on her best behavior in the beginning, so he will check her out to see how she what she says and how she acts which is the make or break it period (first few months).
At two months this guys knows its just LUST, not love, which is why he very succinctly told you he doesn’t want anything serious with you. He is PURPOSEFULLY not acting like a true BF because he never will be one. He’s keeping you at arms length through ACTIONS which is a validation of his words “I don’t want to get serious with you, now or in the future.”
Khadija
Hello Renee,
Girl I was just in a similar situation. I say pull back and do your own thing.
It sounds like you are catching major feelings and he is lukewarm. If you continue to spend more time you’ll want more and he’s made it clear he wants nothing serious.Don’t set yourself up for a major let down. If you keep this up he may go ghost on you because he is feeling pressure.Only give more time to guys who want something more, the rest only see them when you feel like it. Best of luck.
Renee
So your advice is to leave the guy alone? We have tickets to the basketball on sunday and then after that i think I’m going to just not bother. He is a nice guy its a shame really but i don’t want to throw myself out there either. So i text him last night about the game on Sunday i said Hi ( lets call him B) Hi B, haven’t heard from you all week are you still keen on the cats on sunday? he replied saying hey, he’s been so busy he started basketball monday nights and cricket on tuesdays. He said he cant wait for sunday and then asked how i am. Then it was a quick chat and thats it. i know its not me.. its just he’s not that into me right? so i think after the game i will just go home i am not going to ask him to hang out or anything and at the game i am going to be distant – thoughts?
Renee
So your advice is to leave the guy alone? We have tickets to the basketball on sunday and then after that i think I’m going to just not bother. He is a nice guy its a shame really but i don’t want to throw myself out there either. So i text him last night about the game on Sunday i said Hi ( lets call him B) Hi B, haven’t heard from you all week are you still keen on the cats on sunday? he replied saying hey, he’s been so busy he started basketball monday nights and cricket on tuesdays. He said he cant wait for sunday and then asked how i am. Then it was a quick chat and thats it. i know its not me.. its just he’s not that into me right? so i think after the game i will just go home i am not going to ask him to hang out or anything and at the game i am going to be distant – thoughts?
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