This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Peggy 3 weeks, 4 days ago.
November 15, 2019 at 12:28 am #777497
Here´s my dilemma: 2 years ago i met this great guy on this holiday – we had lots in common, like work-wise (we work in the casino biz) and he owns his own company, and i worked for a smaller company at the time. He was so infatuated with me, and we just got along really well, went on dates, hung out etc
I opened up and told him alot about my current work situation and how i need to get a new job, and he was offering me a job in his company, but he needed more time cause it was just a start-up at the time. I was all cool with that. I even helped him out for free with this company.
I decided to visit him in his home country and he showed me so much love, he also likes to splash money and gamble alot, which i am not really super thrilled about, but thats just his way of making things more fun . While in his homecountry we decided to take things further, be more exclusive etc,but in mean tim
e i lost my job and had to sort things out. Fast-forward a few months, his company is going great, he makes millions and hires a few new girls.
But after i lost my job and was depressed, he just dissappeard one me, 1.5 year no contact, i was hurt cause he promised me alot, but i moved on.
Again, now i am back on this same holiday destination, and to my surprise he is there , i bumped into him, and he was all the same again, lets hang out, let me splash money on you etc but i told him how hurt i felt what he did back then, and his excuse were that he thought i didnt want him, i was angry , he was insecure and blah blah. Just BS right? So, now he wants to get married to me, all very crazy , he just begs me for another chance…
I need to leave this place soon, and i dont wanna make a mistake and get back with him again, hes a problem gambler, drinks alot, and is looking for love, he said he always loved me and all the connection we had and he made a mistake. he keeps asking for forgiveness, but he was not really there for me when i needed him the most, neither did he show any signs of that love he claims to have for me.
I dont know how to just resolve this with him. I dont think its good we get back together. And he cant accept this+November 15, 2019 at 12:39 am #777498
Also, he confessed he slept with someone else, shortly after he left him, and this was all due to him being so confused and sad i didnt want him. It hurt to hear he slept with someone cause i so liked him.
Again, there was no indications of this, that i didnt want him, just another excuse on his part.
I just need to be strong. :( But here i am with him again, same holiday destination and same dilemma – where do i go from here? How to let him know there is no second chances cause he cant accept that.November 15, 2019 at 1:04 am #777499
If you can’t avoid him, just tell him kindly not to discuss the past and remain neutral.November 15, 2019 at 4:07 am #777504
Tell him No.
Continue telling him No…
Find a different place to hang out.November 15, 2019 at 9:24 am #777507
he just wants to have a gud time with you. I think it will be a repeat of what happened in the past most likely. as one of the posters said just stay neutral for the present and don’t get too invested in him. I think a clear picture will manifest soon. just stay casual and uninvolved till he really does something to show he means it this time.November 15, 2019 at 9:27 am #777508
Other than the fact that he cant be relied upon he also gambles a lot and drinks way too much. ideally you should not let him back in. don’t waste your time over this guy. move on.November 15, 2019 at 9:30 am #777510
This is an epidemic on this site lately – women who can’t say no and make it stick.
You have to MEAN you are done and cut them off and give them no further response, time or energy.
Guys keep at it when they sense weakness.
Wake up and smell the coffee. This guy is a liar, a gambling addict, financially irresponsible and a cheat. You do know he wasn’t going to hire you right? That was a line. He’s making millions and he hired other people… oh please. Huge lies. And he sure as hell doesn’t love you. He has nothing for you but trouble and heartache. Please like yourself better than to get involved with him a second time.
It’s this simple – “I can’t get into a relationship with you again because I’ve moved on. I need for you to move on as well and stop all contact. Wish you all the best in your business and your life.” And then you block. You don’t respond no matter what he does.
If he keeps it up, you send a short note by text or email that says “I’ve stated on X date that our relationship is over and I want no more contact. If you keep contacting me, you’re going to force me to get the authorities involved. I hope you won’t make me do that.”November 15, 2019 at 12:05 pm #777516
First of all, nothing has changed. You are on holiday again at the same place you met and he’s also there. He still lives in another country, and he’s still a gambler, alcoholic and a LIAR!! Do you really think a man who wants to marry you would ignore you for a year and a half?!?
And guess what, it doesn’t matter if he accepts the fact that you don’t want to get back together! I mean what if you hadn’t accepted the fact he dumped you what could you have done? NOTHING!
And I really don’t think this man is making millions in the matter of a year and a half! The number of companies which even survive their first year of business, much less make a profit is incredibly small. And if he was making so much money and so in love with you and wanting to marry you why didn’t he reach out to you instead of hiring other girls?
This man is full of empty promises. And don’t act like you didn’t go back to this same place expecting to see him. We weren’t born yesterday. You know you’re getting some satisfaction in the fact he’s begging you to come back and that’s just human nature. He sounds like a charmer trying to weasel his way back into your life. I mean what was the point in telling you he slept with someone else? He’s a terrible bet for a relationship, he knows it and he’s trying to talk you into it again. Please be smart enough not to fall in to his trap. Leave your holiday early if you must and spend a few days somewhere else.November 15, 2019 at 12:19 pm #777519
What a bunch of baloney. Quit wasting your own time.November 15, 2019 at 12:53 pm #777522
Be very wary-you are vulnerable to get sucked back in. My feeling is that he could be a con artist-he dropped you before, because you became unemployed and were not a source of income,perhaps. It reminds me of several stories I have read lately. Some women even packed up their households,spent/sent money for the wedding arrangements,etc. Then when they arrived to get married,found out that this is a common scam in some countries. The guy has a wife or more than one already and you are just being used for money. Oh you can be wife #4 if you want..
One woman lost old family heirlooms,tons of money,everything, got a broken/devastated heart and felt like a total fool! I would just block and avoid him. You owe him nothing-and be wary about romances with guys you randomly meet on holiday,from now on.