Received Gifts. Should I break NC?


Home Forums Break Up Advice Received Gifts. Should I break NC?

This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Raven 4 months ago.

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  • #930795 Reply

    GoneBirding

    I broke it off with him. I love him, but his family told him to abandon me, so he didn’t make time for me. Now he’s leaving txts and voicemails saying he misses and loves me, he wants to work on things, sorry he’s not been here for me, and that he was being an idiot. He left gifts at my door and a card that said he looks at my photo and our videos everyday missing me and my laughter and that he’s very depressed. He’s been contacting my best friend for advice how to get me back and she’s the one who suggested the love tokens. It’s been 10 days since I left him in silence but we also weren’t really talking or saw each other for two weeks prior. I left him in silence not because I really wanted him out of my life, but so that he would make some positive changes to treat me better. Should I contact him to tell him thank you?

    #930796 Reply

    Maddie

    That depends. Do you have any reason to think he’d start defending you against his family? Prioritizing you? Actually change and put you first in the long-haul instead of just long enough to “win you back”? What is your end game here?

    #930800 Reply

    tammy

    i agree with Maddie. he is trying to woo you back. but what does this really mean? is he ready to have you back in his life despite his parents reservations against you? is he ready to go against their wishes to be back with you?

    #930812 Reply

    Peggy

    HI. Ask him what steps he has taken or would take to be a better boyfriend/improve the relationship, if you were to agree to try again. Then see what you feel about what he says. Remember talk is cheap,you need action.

    #930818 Reply

    GoneBirding

    I agree Peggy. I thanked him for the gifts last night and didn’t say anything more to which he responded he hoped I liked it. But I do want to see him create some boundaries with his family. I just don’t know if I should go back into silence and let him miss me enough like maybe another two or three weeks to where he’ll start seeing he needs to take action. But I’ve also heard of some partners losing interest because out of sight, out of mind. Abs he already messaged me before that he had wanted to work on things. But now he’s telling my best friend that he’s feeling hopeless. I know I wouldn’t be able to see his actions unless I see him and try again. But I don’t want it to be where he only tries for a bit and then stop. I also don’t want to lose my chance but then again a person doesn’t just forget about you so easily if they truly love you. He had a guitar of mine that I hand built that he says it always reminds him of me and it makes him sad when he sees or plays it, but he worships that guitar actually. Music is our passion. So I don’t think I’ll be easily forgotten. I’m just lost and confused.

    #930819 Reply

    Raven

    Talk with him…

    #930820 Reply

    Andrea

    When someone tries to come back after they’ve caused a break up, it’s usually because something went wrong with something else they were trying to get with. You’re a consolation prize. Stay in NC and move on.

    #930822 Reply

    Raven

    The above is way out of context…

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