Perfect and annoying


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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  olivia turner 1 week, 6 days ago.

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  • #939501 Reply

    Victoria

    Hello and help please
    I meet a guy just before covid. After that we lost touch and few weeks ago I heard from him. We are planning 2nd date. Since then, he is been texting me every single day. In the morning to wish me lovely day, quick “hi thinking of you” during day and “have a sweet dreams” before bed. We do chat a bit, ask about each other day and so on.
    He calls me sweet and darling, can’t wait to see me, thinking of me…..
    Sounds perfect? Oh so annoying.
    For now he is still stranger to me and I don’t feel anything for him except I like him but that’s it for now.

    How can I tell him that all this is a bit to much for me.

    #939503 Reply

    AngieBaby

    It’s not perfect at all, it’s a giant red flag.

    You met this guy before COVID?? That’s three years ago now! And you’re just now having a second date??

    He’s love bombing you – it’s all very over the top and I’d be totally turned off. This is not an emotionally healthy person. I’d tell him I met someone else and would block him. But if you still want to meet him you could just say hey, I’m going to be busy between now and the time we’re meeting and I won’t be able to text or talk regularly anymore. Looking forward to meeting you on X date. If he gives you a hard time or if he keeps it up every day, you should not meet him.

    #939504 Reply

    Victoria

    AngieBaby
    Thank you for eye opening. I read more about love bombing and it’s a scary stuff.
    And since we been only on one date 2-3 years ago all that attention feel so over top.
    We did lost touch after that first date (I sort of stopped replying to his messages) and we reconnected few weeks ago). But probably there was a reason I stopped talking to him back then. I feel bad to do same thing again but will go first with your advice and tell him that I’m short with time so will see his reaction.

    #939505 Reply

    Tallspicy

    This would be a massive turnoff for me. Honestly, I think at the beginning if I know I am going to see you, I don’t need to talk to you by text except every other day or so, and even then… add some darn value…

    If you want to see if he reacts, just tell him:

    Bob, I really appreciate you reaching out. One thing to know about me is I don’t love texting a bunch when I am first dating someone. I prefer to be building things in person or by phone. I am looking forward to our next date, and we can catch up then! :-)

    Now, he may say he loves texting and you might not be compatible. Or he might ease off.

    #939507 Reply

    Victoria

    Tallspicy
    It is turnoff for me too. Especially I don’t feel any chemistry on my end. Sometimes you meet someone and there is a click after few minutes.
    He might be doing all by the book being nice and asking all right questions but it is just too much especially he is stranger (minus one date).
    I have starting point of what to tell him and hopefully he get message and stop messaging :)

    #939531 Reply

    olivia turner

    I also would feel all that attention over top. To tell him that you are short on time would be a good decision, but you don’t have to report him what are you doing. This is your staff, not his. The best way I see is telling him your true feelings and thoughts, but not too much in order to show him he does not get you.

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