Online dating…ugggggh


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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  KarinaDogLover 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #880811 Reply

    Heather

    After 15 months of isolation, it seemed like a good idea to put myself out there again. Plenty of Fish is gross, but at least I always found it easy in the past to strike up a lot of conversations. Same this time, except it was almost ENTIRELY bull****. Flaking, disappearing after asking me out (this happened with multiple guys), and then finally today I found out a guy I’d been texting with for a couple weeks was attempting to catfish me. Is this what online dating has become, or is this some kind of POF phenomenon? I’m ready to give up dating entirely.

    #880841 Reply

    Lane

    Yeah, online dating is no longer about ‘dating’…its become a free for all for anyone to put up fake profiles, and takes hours of weeding them out, which is about 98% of them today. I wouldn’t use a free site, because well its free so you’re going to attract those who are looking to just fish lol.

    I went offline for the same reason, paid or not, and decided to go back to the ‘old school’ way of just meeting men in person so you get a better idea who they are, as a person, without all the dating angst online is about. Men are everywhere!!! They are at the park, getting their oil changed, grabbing lunch, at a local festival/event. All you have to do is strike up a conversation, and you might just meet a normal one :o)

    That’s how all my long-term relationships started. We met, talking, and hung out by getting to know each other doing non-romantic stuff for a bit (month or so), where we just fell into a relationship (became a couple) naturally. It worked best for me this way, where ‘insta dating’ sucks—too much pressure IMO.

    #881120 Reply

    Kathy

    When I first started online dating I tried POF first. I thought it was basically the bottom of the barrel.
    It’s hard to find someone online.. that matches well with you. Your circle of friends, if you have one, is a better bet. I’m with Lane, I would prefer to meet someone in real life. Just be friendly.. I forget that sometimes. I think I probably act like I’m not interested in anyone when I’m out. I probably need to change that :}

    #881180 Reply

    Elvira

    Hi Heather
    I do agree with the others in the sense of do not give up on meeting guys organically like someone said in the coffee shop, store or anywhere. However, online dating should be taken as almost a last resource, if you are not comfortable talking to someone in public that you don’t know (starting a convo), have limited time or prefer to have options.

    Online dating requires thick skin and yes you will get people who stop messaging or disappear and I am guilty of doing that and it has been done to me. I don’t think I need to “break up” or say “this isn’t going to work” with every guy I message. Unless we have been texting for awhile and I see that the conversation isn’t going where I would like it to.

    I am not in a rush to be with anyone and I think that is the perfect time to look. I do know some people are not meant for online dating. My GF went out with a guy on 1 date and he broke things off a few days later (he lost interest after a text conversation they had that went totally left – she wanted to know what his intentions were with her and texting was not the way to have that conversation. I felt it was too soon to ask that question but…I am no dating expert) well she took that extremely hard. He even blocked her because she continued to message him after he said for her not to (still continues to call him even though she is blocked), she tried to say it was a misunderstanding.

    So you see these experiences is what makes people take online dating to a level where they need to be cautious on who they actually end up meeting/talking. Making it harder for the women / men who are actually not crazy!

    #881229 Reply

    AngieBaby

    Here’s how I”ve heard it described:

    Plenty of Fish – Plenty of Idiots
    OK Cupid – OK Stupid
    Match.com – Crap.com
    e-Harmony.com – e-Weirdos.com
    Tinder – Burnt

    You just have to laugh. Online dating is not for everyone. I don’t play there any longer. It’s just too much of a hassle.

    #881243 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    I think Covid has really changed dating. People have been locked away for over a year & things are are starting to open up, so online & app dating is a free for all now. People are all over the place. That’s the impression I have, anyway.

    I can’t be against online dating because I met my bf on okcupid over 3 years ago. (We call it OkStupid too, haha). Neither one of us did a lot of online dating– just dabbled in it really. So I think we were lucky. We live 15 minutes apart but honestly we almost certainly would not have crossed paths of it weren’t for okcupid. So like I said, I can’t hate on it :-)

    I think online/app dating is just a tool to meet folks. If one site or app doesn’t work for you, try another. I always had the impression POF wasn’t a very good site– I tried it years ago and it seemed like a bunch of weirdos. I think people get in trouble when they take online dating too seriously & start texting & talking on the phone & developing pseudo-relationships before they even meet. Don’t text a lot before meeting. If you have stuff in common & want to meet, do so ASAP. Yes, guys will flake, but that’s how it goes. The app should be a tool to help you set up dates– not a tool to start relationships with.

    It’s great to meet people in person if that’s an option for you. When I was single I was extremely active socially & did volunteer work, and I did meet & date guys that way. So if you have social outlets to meet guys in person, by all means do so. Just try different things & see what works. And take breaks from dating if you get too burned out or bitter!

    #881245 Reply

    Erin

    Heather

    Online dating has unfortunately become trashy in most instances, its not your area only.

    In my area, some men don’t even bother putting pictures, but just write bios like “looking for a casual hookup, a one night stand, ‘looking for a’ ‘clean lady’ to have an arrangement with, no strings attached. Some guys write stuff like ‘If you want to be treated like a princess swipe left!” etc.

    A lot actually admit to being married and just want a ‘companion’ or travel buddy. I ended up reading people’s bios just for a good laugh cos it was a hot mess.

    It’s basically about how much less a guy can do to get laid. If you don’t want hookups and actually want dates, it’s an unmatch, a flake or a vanish after one date where you don’t put out.

    It’s difficult to find the ‘real and serious’ when the rest are scum.

    I quit online dating after I’d had enough of sexual harassment, being objectified, dry conversations leading to nowhere, unsolicited d*ck pics, conversations which quickly turn sexual, fades and flakers.

    I found I enjoy meeting men the organic way and I actually get noticed and get asked out a lot with guys interested in meeting up and going for dates and some we’ve actually become friends.

    #881248 Reply

    Erin

    Someone who used online dating a few years or so ago will be in for a rude awakening if they tried it now.

    #882487 Reply

    KarinaDogLover

    “Plenty of Fish – Plenty of Idiots
    OK Cupid – OK Stupid
    Match.com – Crap.com
    e-Harmony.com – e-Weirdos.com
    Tinder – Burnt”

    Wow, really! LOL!

    “Someone who used online dating a few years or so ago will be in for a rude awakening if they tried it now.”

    I would be one of those. I met my ex on Plenty of Fish 15 years ago. When we used it, it was still quite fresh. After we started dating, I think the site turned into a giant party host and created a lot of single meeting parties at club on Thursday evening. That’s the last thing I know about POF.

    Back to being single since last July, I went to POF site and renewed my password, then I chicken out…I just did not have the courage to continue to go in and look around. Same as the Facebook dating app, I entered some information to create a profile but at the end I could not just put a photo and finalized it.

    I guess I will just try to meet people the old fashion way. Today I took a long walk along the riverside and talked to a few strangers. I had some nice and short conversations with someone who were fishing and someone who was dog training. I think this is way less scary than online dating site. I don’t even know how I did it back then, I was bold! LOL!

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