Online dating…ugggggh

Yeah, online dating is no longer about ‘dating’…its become a free for all for anyone to put up fake profiles, and takes hours of weeding them out, which is about 98% of them today. I wouldn’t use a free site, because well its free so you’re going to attract those who are looking to just fish lol.

I went offline for the same reason, paid or not, and decided to go back to the ‘old school’ way of just meeting men in person so you get a better idea who they are, as a person, without all the dating angst online is about. Men are everywhere!!! They are at the park, getting their oil changed, grabbing lunch, at a local festival/event. All you have to do is strike up a conversation, and you might just meet a normal one :o)

That’s how all my long-term relationships started. We met, talking, and hung out by getting to know each other doing non-romantic stuff for a bit (month or so), where we just fell into a relationship (became a couple) naturally. It worked best for me this way, where ‘insta dating’ sucks—too much pressure IMO.

Hi Heather
I do agree with the others in the sense of do not give up on meeting guys organically like someone said in the coffee shop, store or anywhere. However, online dating should be taken as almost a last resource, if you are not comfortable talking to someone in public that you don’t know (starting a convo), have limited time or prefer to have options.

Online dating requires thick skin and yes you will get people who stop messaging or disappear and I am guilty of doing that and it has been done to me. I don’t think I need to “break up” or say “this isn’t going to work” with every guy I message. Unless we have been texting for awhile and I see that the conversation isn’t going where I would like it to.

I am not in a rush to be with anyone and I think that is the perfect time to look. I do know some people are not meant for online dating. My GF went out with a guy on 1 date and he broke things off a few days later (he lost interest after a text conversation they had that went totally left – she wanted to know what his intentions were with her and texting was not the way to have that conversation. I felt it was too soon to ask that question but…I am no dating expert) well she took that extremely hard. He even blocked her because she continued to message him after he said for her not to (still continues to call him even though she is blocked), she tried to say it was a misunderstanding.

So you see these experiences is what makes people take online dating to a level where they need to be cautious on who they actually end up meeting/talking. Making it harder for the women / men who are actually not crazy!

I think Covid has really changed dating. People have been locked away for over a year & things are are starting to open up, so online & app dating is a free for all now. People are all over the place. That’s the impression I have, anyway.

I can’t be against online dating because I met my bf on okcupid over 3 years ago. (We call it OkStupid too, haha). Neither one of us did a lot of online dating– just dabbled in it really. So I think we were lucky. We live 15 minutes apart but honestly we almost certainly would not have crossed paths of it weren’t for okcupid. So like I said, I can’t hate on it :-)

I think online/app dating is just a tool to meet folks. If one site or app doesn’t work for you, try another. I always had the impression POF wasn’t a very good site– I tried it years ago and it seemed like a bunch of weirdos. I think people get in trouble when they take online dating too seriously & start texting & talking on the phone & developing pseudo-relationships before they even meet. Don’t text a lot before meeting. If you have stuff in common & want to meet, do so ASAP. Yes, guys will flake, but that’s how it goes. The app should be a tool to help you set up dates– not a tool to start relationships with.

It’s great to meet people in person if that’s an option for you. When I was single I was extremely active socially & did volunteer work, and I did meet & date guys that way. So if you have social outlets to meet guys in person, by all means do so. Just try different things & see what works. And take breaks from dating if you get too burned out or bitter!

Someone who used online dating a few years or so ago will be in for a rude awakening if they tried it now.

Are there any other sites to check out? Facebook dating? Has anyone tried FB Dating? I’m curious.