Not a relationship issue


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  • #933998 Reply
    Kash

    I have had a best friend since school days. We are both 26 now. However, I have noticed a few things about her in the recent years which I was very oblivious of before.

    1. Whenever she calls she only talk about her issues for hours on end and shows little or no interest in my life.

    2. She gossips a lot.

    3. She cheated on her bf. Secretly started meeting a friend’s bf.

    4. I have introduced her to my bf in the past. But she has never introduced me to any of her bfs. In fact on two occasions her bf was around but she just somehow did not make me meet him. However, she has introduced him to other friends of hers.

    5. She will always complain about the fact that we don’t have a lot of pictures together and then one day we met and took a lot of pictures. She still didn’t feel like uploading any pictures with me. However, she did update pictures the very next day with her other college friends.

    6. When I was in college she was almost stalking my college’s Facebook group etc. To get more info. Added friends from my college in her account Idk why. Probably to enquire about me. And then insisted she is alone and bored and wants to visit my college. So I introduced her to my friends. However, when she joined mba college I told her the sane that I’d love to meet her friends. She never introduced me to anyone. But she did introduce her other friends to her new college friends.

    7. She is generally never there for me when I need to speak to her on calls etc. But will be there when she needs help.

    All this then she keeps singing to me that I am her best friend. What kind of a best friend is that? Will it be right if I totally cut her off? I feel very hurt and confused by her behaviour.

    7.

    #934002 Reply
    Amy S

    Life
    Is
    Short. Find new friends. This is
    A no brainer.

    #934004 Reply
    Kash

    Amy- I have other friends. I just wanted to evaluate this friend. Because everytime I distance myself from her she comes with cries of how I am her best friend, no one understands her like me, she loves my company etc etc. Then I start feeling bad for cutting her out. But I guess I shouldn’t.

    #934005 Reply
    tammy

    some people are like that only. i had a friend like that. very close friend. she never ever introduced me to her other friends and never invited me to any of the parties or events she frequented. whenever you talk to her on phone, she would only talk about herself. i once had enough and told her what i thought and how i felt. she got all defensive and just refused to acknowledge and accept what i told her. she stopped messaging me and our interactions went down drastically. recently i reached out casually. and she again started telling me all that was going wrong with her and how low she felt. i realized that nothing has changed and that she will always be this way. so talk to her casually and occasionally. but i doubt she will change.

    #934006 Reply
    Maddie

    Sometimes people grow apart as they get older, and that’s okay. Sounds like you’re realizing she’s kind of self-centered and flakey. But she pulls you back in with some co-dependent BS when you try to move on. I agree with Tammy that she won’t change and you need to decide what you want and then protect your boundaries, because it doesn’t sound like she’s good at respecting them.

    #934010 Reply
    Kash

    I am the kind of person who is very chatty and likes to keep in touch. Also gets concerned. So I think I will block her out for a while.

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