Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › My sisters boyfriend is very tight with both emotions and money. What does that
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 3 years, 3 months ago by
Missy.
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Missy
My sister has been in a relationship for a few months now, but lately, she is definitely thinking about leaving the guy as he shows a lot of stingy tendencies.
From day one, he was tight and counted pennies. I think the first time she saw the tendencies was when he was fixing something or helping her, which is good, but he really made sure to get the relatively small cost of the part back, something like $10 or less.
A few months later it was Christmas and although they had said not to give presents, my sister still bought for him, but obviously, he didn’t. He never brings along food even though she does that all the time. And when she asked if she could get some hay for her Guinea pigs (he has two big horses), he wouldn’t give her.
His 15- and 17-year-old children who live with their mom has to pay for riding lessons with their own money as he refuses, but he has no problem spending money and service on himself, such as massage etc.
No presents or flowers ever.
These are bad signs, right?
Raven
Yes, these are very bad signs…
Missy
Thanks Raven. I think so too. More and more comes up now. My sister has paid for things for him and agrees to help her in the garden for the money.
Something you generally do for free for someone you love and who is your partner 🙄
Emily
It’s up to your sister if these are red flags or not. Our opinions don’t really matter.
Lane
This is what dating’s about; determining if you are the right match/fit to make it over the long haul.
Its OK to be stingy as each person is allowed to be who they are but it doesn’t mean you have to accept it. It’s ultimately up to your sister to decide what she will or will not accept from a potential partner. If his “stinginess” bothers her then it would behoove of her to find someone who’s less stingy.
IMO parents are way overindulging their kids far too much today. Its good that kids learn how to earn, save and pay for their own stuff as its a lost lesson parents use to instill in their children. My parents did the same so I started a paper route at age 11, baby-sat at 13 and then an after-school job at 15. Because of this, I never had to rely on my parents nor the government for anything; paid my own way, saved and sitting pretty for retirement! I did the same to mine because nothing in life is free and best to start teaching those skills before they reach adulthood.
There are generations, like mine, who grew up with grandparents and parents that survived the Great Depression. Like they say, “Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.”
Missy
Thanks Lane and Emily.
Yes, of course, it’s her call ultimately. I write as she doesn’t like to write in English, and yes, it does bother her. That’s why I wanted to get your opinion as I have often turned to this forum for all the great input. Thanks for that 🙂.
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