This topic contains 45 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Better off single 1 week ago.
November 16, 2016 at 7:29 pm #578790
So my ex boyfriend broke up with me unexpectedly about 3 weeks ago after over 2 years together. We’re both 20. He broke up with me after only a few days of feeling ‘different’ and wanting some space (although he kept talking to me) after we had an argument. This is completely out the blue as a week before our fateful argument he had been speaking about marriage, had tears of happiness in his eyes saying he didn’t know what he’d do without me. There was no warning signs at all.
He told me he still loved me so much and everything about me he just felt like he needed time alone. He was crying his eyes out, saying he wished he felt normal he just didn’t and it would be unfair on me if I was to sit around waiting for him upset as he didn’t know how long he would feel like this or if it would ever pass. If I said ‘do you really want this’ he’d cry again and say no I don’t but I feel like I need it. He said maybe in a few days he’d realise how much he needs me, and that maybe we would still have a future together.
I then tried to go NC after the intial breakup, but lasted only a few days, at which point I went to his after a night out, drunk, and made things 10x worse. He said he loved me and saw a future but that was exactly what he didn’t want, although he knew I only did it because I loved him so much. He also said to me, “when I say I love you, I really do mean it” and that he still saw a future he just felt like he needed time alone and he sticks to that.
Since then, about 4 days after this incident, he said he just wants to be alone, he feels happier alone right now, he feels awful about it, and that he doesn’t love me ‘enough’ right now. He also said ‘I want you to be in my life but not enough’ which really hurt. He said he didn’t think we should meet up right now but maybe some day we should. He also said about getting back together ‘maybe one day but its unfair to say that’. I then went to his, against his will, to speak to him for literally 5 minutes as I didn’t think it was fair for him to break up with me saying he wanted a future with me, to then text me saying he didn’t want me in his life. He said we broke up because he just felt unhappy, he’s realised he does want to be alone and that’s why he’s changed what he’s saying, and he cant say whether he’ll ever want to get back together because he doesn’t know. During this encounter I was not emotional, I was matter of fact, asked what I needed to, and then left saying ‘you will never see me again’, which I know was a bit dramatic. I could tell by the way he was speaking to me and looking at me he still cared for me deeply.
Since then, I went no contact for a week, only to discover yesterday he had blocked my number when I had a moment of despair and tried to call him. I unfortunately then freaked out, and went a bit crazy on fb messenger asking him why, what had I done wrong, why was he ignoring me, etc. He ignored all my messages. I’m completely confused as to why he would do this… I have texted him a fair amount since the breakup, mostly with a response, but I wouldn’t say I have gone overboard other than last night, and the day I went to his. I haven’t even tried to contact him within the week that he has blocked me. Is he angry at me for not giving him enough space when he wanted it? Hurt? I’m so confused. I deleted him off facebook so that I couldn’t be tempted to message him again and for my own sake too.
Does anyone have any insight in to what is going through his mind? I highly doubt he’s moved on as its not even been a month yet, we were together a long time and had a very happy relationship on the most part. He adored me so much, told his parents he wanted to marry me, I had met all his family etc. and this is so out of the blue I don’t know how to handle it but I really would love for us to still have a future together as we loved eachother so much, were best friends, and wanted all the same things in life. I’ve realised where we could have improved in our relationship and want a second chance to make things right.November 16, 2016 at 8:03 pm #578801
He’s having an inner conflict of some sort. He blocked you because he doesn’t want to deal with things with you right now because he needs space. It’s as simple as that. Just keep doing no contact. He’ll be back..November 16, 2016 at 8:15 pm #578803
When a man breaks up with you, you leave him alone. Have some respect for him and yourself.November 17, 2016 at 8:22 am #578874
I know I need to leave him alone now, and should have from the start, its just hard when it was so out of the blue and I know how much he love(d)? me until we had this argument. I feel like maybe I wasn’t appreciating him as much as I should have been, and feel guilty about this. Nothing in our relationship was fundamentally wrong, its all solvable, I just don’t know if he’s going to ever feel like he wants to try again with me? Will he even ever speak to me again or unblock me? I just can’t get my head around why he blocked me and ignored me anyway…November 17, 2016 at 9:23 am #578883
It’s what I said. He doesn’t want to deal with it. I’ve been blocked before by a bf for no reason. It was cause he was nuts! His issues are his issues. He needs to work out whatever his issue is by himself. You need to let it be & just accept that it’s not supposed to be right now.November 17, 2016 at 10:43 am #578913
I hate to say I agree with Ashley’s response but she is right. Just went down this path and I am seeing I made things worse even though he started it. I got blocked on FB to so don’t feel bad it is so very frustrating because in my case he blocked me on FB but not snapchat or from his cell. Bad part is I would text him trying to fix it and when he didn’t respond I texted him again I went into panic mode! Now I am doing the no contact and we will see what happens and I have told myself that well he didn’t block me on everything so he is still trying to see from a distance whats going on. How true this is I am not sure maybe Ashley can answer it for me. But this is just what I am doing, just let it go for now not forever and I think given the history he will come back around. I hope sooner than later if that is what you really want. Good Luck!November 17, 2016 at 11:27 am #578923
Thanks Ashley that does help. It’s quite an immature way for him to handle it though… Yeah I was only blocked on his phone, he kept me on facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat, etc. Maybe you are right also, they still want to see whats going on with us. Obviously I deleted him off facebook though after he ignored me, which i’m not sure was wise but I didn’t want the temptation there, PLUS I was constantly checking when he’d been online which was driving me crazy. If you’ve only been blocked on facebook Jen perhaps he just couldn’t deal with seeing your photos possibly?November 17, 2016 at 12:29 pm #578939
I agree childish! Maybe it does have something to do with pictures however my situation is a bit different then yours. Our “fight” was over an ex of his and it went crazy on FB he was not going to block me I don’t think but when I received a screenshot of a text he sent to the ex saying I am about to block her that’s when he did it after I sent him the screenshots this other woman was sending to me, who started all this drama.At this point I am not real sure what to think this other woman started all this trouble then went and tried to involve one of his sisters and his mother are you kidding me. Then guess what it looks like I am the bad guy, but since this happened his other sister which is my roommate and BFF set them all straight and took my phone and showed all the stuff this other girl was sending me. Now his family is like we might have just messed this up for these two he really did like her. But with that said he has only snapped me once and it was because I sent him an order he needed to fill for his company it was only business.I do find it interesting he is trying to make it look like he is being headstrong and blocking me on FB yet he didn’t take it to the far end of blocking all communication.It was probably smart for you to delete him from FB the temptation is agonizing I find myself looking at snapchat going okay he has been on here yet he has not snapped me.At this point in this guy’s mind he is the best ever always he is from a small town unlike me so I am guessing he thinks he has got the upper hand but I played right into it at first by constantly texting him trying to fix it. But now day (2) I have not reached out to him only the one time about work that’s it, I don’t know that he will but maybe he can take a few days and then make contact I hope he does but he is such a private person and hates for anyone to know his business. I think part of him is unsure exactly what I would do if I got mad at him and he doesn’t want his business known to everyone. He created such a big deal over the situation he is embarrassed and it didn’t help things when I was defending myself and then now his family is like wait your mad at this girl because of something someone else did.His response what I am told is I don’t want to talk about it or hear about it. It is upsetting at the least considering we live roughly 5 hours apart so prior to this he was driving here constantly only staying home for 2 nights max then I went there 2 weekends ago and that’s when the drama started and now we went from FIRE to Nothing!I am holding out hope because we were having such a good time together and also because I know he did the little things for me that he didn’t do for anyone ever in his life. Not even when he was married I don’t know if that means anything or not.November 17, 2016 at 1:14 pm #578945
And please don’t do something dumb like I did when I did text him a few days ago. As of yet it has not came back to bite me but I have this feeling it just might! I sent a text that basically said let’s let this go and pick up where we left off make love and forget the rest, I miss being in your arms and I know you feel the same. Never Do This EVER! Now I feel like a complete idiot and if he ever shows anyone I will probably have a break down.November 17, 2016 at 2:53 pm #578960
Guys can’t deal with emotions the way we can that’s why some act so childish like thatNovember 17, 2016 at 3:28 pm #578968
I’m scared he will only be thinking of the negatives of our relationship, or has already fallen out of love with me, and so won’t ever want to get back together… I know I need to focus on the present but I really don’t want a future without him in it.November 17, 2016 at 3:36 pm #578972
I don’t think he’ll think of negatives & if he was really in love, he will not fall out of it. However none of that matters right now. If he doesn’t want to get back together later on then it simply wasn’t meant to be & there is someone better for you. You’ve got to try to calm down about this guy. It’s not worth it. You’re only 20!!!! I’ll bet you’ll have like 10 boyfriends after this guy lol. I repeat you are 20!! You should be enjoying your life. I’m 26. 20 seems like a lifetime ago. When I look back on the guy I was crying over back then, I wouldn’t know whether to laugh at myself or slap myself lol. This is so not the end of the world so go have fun do not sit here crying over this guy.. I promise it will not do you one bit of good!November 17, 2016 at 3:51 pm #578974
Mark my words he is going to come back in two or max three months after he has explored and found his inner peace. All guys act this way (well majority of them) my ex did the same left me for four months, blocked me from everywhere, I begged him to see me with no response, I showed up at his house he never came out. I would see him on Whatsapp online but wouldn’t read my message and later on he blocked me.
Then I went on a vacation with my girls, oh he got pissed and blocked me on his snapchat too. After 4 months I started seeing someone. He started messaging me like crazy and wants us to be together. I am not even a bit in a mood to talk to him. Just stay strong and stay away from him, you watch he will come back running to you when you stop giving him importance. Then you can decide whether you want to be with a guy who would leave you just like that and come back or not. I refused to be with him because if he can leave me once he can leave me again.November 17, 2016 at 4:01 pm #578975
I know your scared EMS but like everyone says try and stay strong it sucks it really does. I have the same crap feeling right now. But at least you two have a history and it’s hard to let go when you have a past with someone. He will return at some point maybe my guy will to and we can all get our issues worked out.November 17, 2016 at 5:10 pm #578990
Ladies, I think those of you who are being blocked need to reflect long and hard on your own behavior. Men are very simple, not dramatic, and I have never heard of a man blocking a woman unless she was pestering him and refused to leave him alone. It’s possible these guys are just idiots and losers, but it’s more likely that y’all are acting clingy and desperate and that’s why they are blocking you – because it’s too much drama and aggravation and no one has time for that! Just food for thought.
To the OP, no one except him knows why he blocked you. It’s not a good use of your time to try to figure out “why” men do certain things. You will never know, and knowing would not make you feel better or do anything positive for you. Just let it go and, if he does come back (which, by the way, NO ONE on here has any way of knowing for sure what will or won’t happen. Sometimes men come back, sometimes they don’t. IMO, it’s unlikely that he will decide he wants you back after finding you so annoying that he felt the need to block you), remember he BLOCKED you, and don’t look back.November 17, 2016 at 6:10 pm #579005
You do not know your own worth as a woman.
Look, if a man asks for space that is fine….leave him alone. You being around him, texting him, calling him, showing up on his doorstep is irrational behavior.
You are not respecting his point of view.
When you respect yourself you respect others as well. If you asked for space what would you want from someone else? Not the behavior you are exhibiting.
If he decides for you or against you that is his free choice. If you decide for him or against him that is your free choice.
Give the man freedom and take some for yourself.November 17, 2016 at 6:14 pm #579006
I highly doubt I could be THAT annoying to him seeing as I only spoke to him on and off for 2 weeks after we broke up, then stopped. Even when I was texting him it was not every day all day. It would be very spaced out, maybe every 3 days and it wasn’t begging or anything like that. Its not like I was texting him non-stop for weeks and weeks so I find your comment a bit rude, and a bit hurtful also. Its impossible to be with someone for over 2 years, who still loved you when they were feeling unsure of what they wanted in life, and would definitely still care about me, to get irritated enough by me to block me after only 2 weeks. You could be right but I somehow find it doubtful.November 17, 2016 at 6:44 pm #579012
When I got blocked I never did anything either , trust me there are some weird guys out there who will block you out of nowhere lol some people are just super immature & nuts nowadays! Normal guys don’t just block. It shows the emotional immaturity & those types you are wayyy better off without!! Huge waste of time & tears!November 17, 2016 at 9:45 pm #579044
Why would you want to be with a guy who BLOCKED you…?November 18, 2016 at 6:05 am #579075
Honestly I know I deserve better, it just seems so out of character. He was an amazing boyfriend to me, extremely caring, made me a priority, helled me with so many things and we generally just had so much fun together even when doing nothing. I however became snappy towards him towards the end and feel so much guilt about this, I think I just took him for granted and got too comfortable, I knew how much he loved me and I think maybe I stopped putting as much effort inNovember 18, 2016 at 9:51 am #579091
What was your ex first name? I’ve came across this and it sounds exactly like my friends ex who done the same thing a few weeks ago.November 18, 2016 at 9:55 am #579093
Okay ladies we are here to support each other not trash each other! I am not by any means saying we are going to all agree but let’s be nice about it. We want the opinions or we wouldn’t post our questions. It’s easier to see from the outside then the inside especially if you don’t have emotions involved. Yes some of the actions taken by myself or others was wrong and distasteful at times. However I am sure if we were all honest we have all been in a situation where after looking back we would have done things different we are not perfect. While some people’s responses are blunt they are still welcomed this doesn’t mean to bash another and make them feel worse then they did.*EMS* you hang in there while I will agree working on self worth as I should do the same and I am seeing that it doesn’t make you care any less for him and it would be foolish to think otherwise. I personally feel given time it will work it’s self out and I either see it as you two will get back together and be happy or I see you discovering yourself and walking away I do not foresee him just walking away. As for being blocked really give me a break everyone blocks whoever for some stupid reason doesn’t mean you were invading there space or being a pain. I know without a doubt I got blocked on FB because I sent a screenshot of the text to him and called him out and so he had to look like the boss lol!If I was invading his space or causing him stress he would have blocked all aspects of communication another interesting factor is if your friends on FB you can see others friends therefore him doing this is his way of trying to remove himself from the bombing and make it look like he is the one trying to calm the matter even though he created the dang mess! It is so easy to hit block on and Iphone so if he really wanted to block me and have no communication this would have happened as well as snapchat. Sitting back I can now see some of these things he did and why it doesn’t make it better or right but I can see a lot now. With that said he will either come to his senses and understand he helped cause the issue and try to fix it and put his ego to the side or guess what he won’t and he can always wonder but if and if his ego is more important then the other person I don’t need him anyways. Had I been smart and not letting emotions control the matter I would have cut communication off ASAP but being stupid I played right into his hand.Which in turn made me look like I was chasing him again hindsight is 20/20. While he always did the chasing I should have kept it that way but I screwed up now I have to deal with it. No one here or anywhere can say to a fact what will happen we can only suspect what we think might happen, we need to all welcome everyone’s responses and agree to disagree on some aspects but keep it classy.November 18, 2016 at 12:00 pm #579122
I just thought i should share this with everyone, the fact about life is that everyone will face one or two challenges which define them .its either you overcome it or you it overthrow you.18 years ago i had divorce with my husband, he left me for another woman who i never thought could be. i was so down and devastated that i was pissed with my life itself. it was the end of the world i thought because so much i tried to bring my husband back was to no avail, i could not help it that i had to try more and more years trying to bring him back. He would not answer my phone not even talk of wanting to see. we had two child that was left for me to take care of them, it was hell for. tried to be in another relationship since then but it wont work out because my heart is with him and i still love him so much. even thinking of the kids we shared that was left to me. four years of trying i could still not make him come back. so i left him for good i suppose believing that if you love something you set it free, if it comes back its yours and if it never comes back then it was never yours. so that was how i have lived since then, lonely and heartbroken. but i fight it all through if not for anything but for my kids. Last year my son, who is now 32 had strokes and met a man who happens to be a herbalist, who cures him and he was able to lift and use his right arm and leg again. it was indeed a miracle to us. i was trying to say thanks to this man and give some gifts for the good work he has done for us to show my appreciation. he was very happy and would collect it from me. we became a very good friend in the long run and i had to talk him what my life was all about. i told him about my husband leaving me for another woman and abadoning the kids for me alone to take the burden and work has not been really fine. So is this man ask me ..
‘Do you Still love the man?”..i could not say no because i still love him and he said if i wish him back in life he will surely get him back for me. I asked how is that going to be possible but he promised me if i believe i will surely get my husband back. I believe him and follow all his instructions. to my surprise my husband call wakes me up the following week asking for permission to speak with and will like to say some things to me that even though i dont want to him back as husband but he would like to be a very good friend. i was shocked and could not believe what happened. we got together and work things out and now we live happily together again with out kids. and our son is getting married come this december 9th. it was such a wonderful story i love to share with you people. i know there are some people out there like who is willing to straight things in their life. i can only say one thing that if you would believe what you have lost can still come back to you. then i would want you to get in contact with the man who has helped me also.
His name Ifatona Ikusaanu..
email – firstname.lastname@example.org
and number to get in contact with him are …….+1 386 444 2009 or +2348141756652,
Goodluck to you. i wish you happiness as mine.
Halina Snudling.November 21, 2016 at 9:21 pm #579960
Since i posted this, I bumped into my ex on a night out 2 nights ago. We were both drunk, ended up… not arguing but kind of, more of a heated/emotional discussion. He was very upset/angry, said I didn’t appreciate him and we’d still be together if it wasn’t for that because it made his feelings changed. He said he could picture me being who he wanted to spend his life with, but I didn’t appreciate him when he never did anything to make me doubt him. I was obviously saying I had realised this and I was sorry etc. We ended up going back with eachother, we spoke about things, and ended up sleeping together.
The next day he was at mine all day. He cried and said he missed us, and said maybe we needed to take things slow. We did sleep together again sober. He told me he did still love me, but he felt taken for granted whilst we were together. We had a really nice day on the whole part, despite some of the emotional talks. Before he left, he said we needed to speak normally in order to move forward, and that he’d text me when he got home. Once he was back he texted me, and we were speaking for a while. He said to me that night he was so sorry, I’m his best friend, that I’m amazing and he hates thinking how he has hurt me. When I asked why he was saying this he said because today when we were together really was the person I love so much, when you were happy and smiley. He has said since he’s happiest when he’s with me and everything is great, and I asked if he wanted us to try and work things out and he said yes because he said to me from the start he wants us to be together in the future but that it needs to be slow. I’m seeing him tomorrow for a little while, he doesn’t want to seem to text too much at the moment.
What does he actually mean by this though? I can admit I did take him for granted and probably snapped at him far too often, and he made far more effort with me than I did with him. I wasn’t a horrible girlfriend, I was extremely caring, I just seemed to get too comfortable and stopped showing him how much I did actually appreciate the things he did for me.November 22, 2016 at 12:53 am #580002
OP, I think you have too much drama in your relationship:)
but again, you are both 20, so you are allowed to make your own mistakes:) we all had been trou this
but the only thing I would advise, stop the involment of his family…. just refuse it, politely decline every attempt to be a part of your relationship… I know its hard, because you feel this is in your favour, but its not…
just imagine, what he must listen from them
and yes, take it slow…. just go to places, no heated emotional conversations, just enjoying the day…. do some fun stuff, and dont involve his family in this! I know this is hard, if his sister is your roommate, but I had this situation in the past (his twin-sister was my roommate) and I didnt talk to her about him nor I encouraged conversations about him in any way, I felt it like a conflict of interest