Laid off twice in a year. Am not feeling comforted by boyfriend


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  • This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 1 year ago by mama.
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  • #941498 Reply
    Amanda

    I got let go yesterday. My contract was terminated early as a part of layoffs. I was also laid off this time last year from a permanent position. I am feeling so upset, frustrated and lost.

    My bf and I have been together a little over a year and recently moved in together. He left early yesterday on a boys trip. I let him know about the lay off in the afternoon and was hoping for a bit of comfort and all he responded via text was “I’m sorry! We’ll be fine” and then I heard nothing for 6 hours when he finally decided to call. I felt like with him knowing how stressed I’ve been feeling like this is coming and applying to multiple jobs (I’m in talent acquisition, so a hard time for us) that he would maybe have sent a bit more in the text and let me know he was busy but would call as soon as he had a moment. When he called I wasn’t by my phone and I knew after he was around a lot of people so I said I wasn’t in the mood to speak then so we would today and he said okay he’d give me some space and speak today. I texted him this morning and I haven’t heard back in 5 hours. I’m feeling extremely let down and dissapointed and would have hoped he would be a little more thoughtful and caring in this situation, because I know I certainly would if roles were reversed.

    How should I handle this? It’s making my already extremely high anxiety at the moment and sadness multiply.

    #941500 Reply
    Natz

    You are naturally in your feelings and needing him to comfort you. But you have to also realize that he is on a trip for a reason. He has expressed his compassion when you first told him and he reassured you that you’re both going to be okay. He called also. To me personally that’s good enough considering the circumstances at the moment.

    How long is his trip? I’m sure when he gets back he will be able to give his undivided attention to talk things through with you as there won’t be any distractions.

    In the meantime you can talk to a friend or family member. Hugs.

    #941502 Reply
    Raven

    I’m curious, Given the circumstances what did you expect him to do?

    #941519 Reply
    Ewa

    why did you feel the need to tell him this over text while he is away ? surely you could wait until he comes back, don’t rely on your bf to be your emotional support.

    #941524 Reply
    mama

    Ewa, I probably would have let him know as well, I don’t think that was a bad move. But I also would not expect him to spend a lot of time consoling me when he was on a boys’ trip.

    I think Raven asks a good question — what did she expect him to do? How realistic are her expectations? Getting laid off is a huge blow to one’s esteem, so if she’s a little sensitive, I get it. But she’s adding another layer of drama to an awful situation.

    He called, he texted, he’ll be home soon to hold your hand. Don’t make him out to be the bad guy.

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