This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by LaFrance Thibodeaux 8 months, 1 week ago.
January 19, 2020 at 6:12 am #783227
Hello everyone!..I made a post a few days ago regarding a situation that didnt mean to much to me.I guess I wanted more feedback other than what I recieved from the people that knew me best,& I must say it was chaotic to say the least..l0l..My reason for this post is to try to spread a message about SELF LOVE!..Ladies,we dont support one another enough,yet we allow men to dictate our happiness..That’s not cool on any level..With each post I read,I get more & more upset because we give men so much power when we hold all the cards..THESE MEN ARE N0THING WITH0UT US!!..For example,When you first meet a guy everything is sunny skies & rainbows,next thing you know he falls back or falls from the face of the Earth.The first thing a woman does is think that she isn’t good enough or she has to chase him or he’s cheating when in actuality if he had anything to offer he’d run to you & not from you..Sis he’s showing his true colors in plain view that he’s not good enough for you!..I mean why chase him when you’re the catch..I speak for myself & every woman when I say if a man changes on you for no reason weather you’ve dated him 5days or 5 decades then change right back on his ass & bounce,self reflect,& on to the next!..Its hard being a woman as it is please dont allow anyone to walk all over you or your heart..
Thank you all for reading!..January 19, 2020 at 8:48 am #783232
I agree and disagree in part. Ladies also need to take responsibility and ownership for their actions too. The biggest problem I see is they are trying to fill a void and place too high of a burden on the man to fill it. Men don’t have the desire a woman does to be in relationship as their needs are biologically (genetically) different than ours is. They are perfectly fine being single and engaging in short-term romances. If a man isn’t interested in settling down with a lady then he’s not going to act or behave in the way he KNOWS he needs to act to keep that woman in his life. Women miss these major clues because they are myopically focused on the relationship goal and not on where the man is mentally and end up in these situations because they don’t properly vet them. Men are pretty simple to figure out; its women who make it more complicated than it needs to be.
Women have this grandiose version of what they think love and relationships should look and feel like (e.g. Hollywood) instead of *accepting* [key word] the man for who he is, warts, flaws and all. They have this underlying need, based on their nurturing instincts to *fix him* when he’s not meeting her expectations or obeying her commands, which then perpetuates a cycle of dysfunction….wash, rinse, repeat.
A romantic relationship is not much different than any other relationship you have with family, friends, co-workers etc. If it starts out rough or in constant disappointment then how do you think that relationship is going to last? Instead of patiently waiting for the best guy to come along where you get on really well without any games; have very little issues because you not only communicate very well but you accept them for their differences, how they handle problems, how they deal with situations, and ultimately how you work together to solve them without a lot of needless drama. That relationship has the underlying foundation and structure to build on and last a long time—couples who don’t aren’t going to stand long.
Bottom line. Men AND Women are going to F UP. They are going to do and say things that irritate the heck out of another, no differently than you have said and/or did something that irritated the heck out of your parents, friends, a boss or co-worker. If you don’t have the proper knowledge or skills to deal with human F UPs then the relationship is going to end up in a miserable state of affairs.January 19, 2020 at 8:56 am #783233
Men want respect and women want love. Be with a man you can respect and show love also. Unfortunately women settle for less than they deserve in the name of love. I know that narrows the field but do you want an instant relationship or happiness? I believe the current anger in men is in direct relation to the lack of respect in today’s society. We do not respect laws, other people, road manners, internet guidelines, teachers, policemen, or the elderly. Lack of love and respect is destroying us and if we continue on the path then will marriage survive? Look around you and give as much love and respect as you can to help turn the tide.January 19, 2020 at 9:32 am #783238
Great point- thank you for writing this. When other women criticize each other on this site- it makes me cringe. Obviously if a woman comes onto this site for advice, they need support and validation for their feelings. It’s all in the delivery in the message, let’s choose our words kindly and wisely.January 19, 2020 at 11:54 am #783245
Better off single
Good advice.January 19, 2020 at 2:27 pm #783250
Great advice, RCS.. And yes, it makes me cringe also on this site when women don’t respect other women with their criticisms, Anon..January 20, 2020 at 7:59 am #783280
I think that is the problem, men want respect, women want love. But many men in the US have become complete slackers, low earners and don’t bring much to the table, where women have really stepped.
For me, it is very hard to respect a low earner man who is not as smart and fit as I am, but like many educated, well employed, attractive women, the norm is to date men below my level. So you end up settling, the men know it, you know it. You’d think the men would be happy to have a “great catch” but the reality is that it doesn’t work that way. Like you know, Hollywood shows us the poor pretty girl who ends up with the prince who rescues her and she is eternally grateful- men do not work that way.
So its a numbers game, and for American women, it’s going to not be in your favor. You are going to constantly be dating low quality men who yank you around due to their low self esteem (which will erode yours if you let it). That said, there are great ones out there. Just bide your time and be happy you can support your life these days.January 20, 2020 at 1:10 pm #783296
Thank you all for your feedback!..Anon,you put the icing right on the cake hunny!..My post wasnt to be directed towards the good men that are taking care of business & trying to build.. It’s for women dealing with grown boys who dont have what it takes to be a man let alone know how to handle being with a successful woman..After I ended my 8 year relationship with my first love,I haven’t been one to fall in love or seek love to often..Show me loyalty first!Put action behind those ‘sweet nothings’! Then we can see where things go..I also feel that every men whom a woman comes in contact with isn’t meant to be the man you for you..Some guys are just better off being a friend,nothing more.& To be true ,these days a strong friendship is better than a relationship title..I dont live in a fantasy world,this is real life for me & because of this There are a lot of women that dont understand my logic & how I handle my encounters with men..I know my worth,I have a lot to offer,& I have a lot going for myself..I really dont need a man for anything,not even his sex..So when men try me I never show my hand because i know that I have my sh!t together,many people know this,he most likely knows too!..I refuse to prove myself to a man first,show him what I have to bring to the table,or allow him into my world only to lean on me..What I’m trying to say is if you’re a good woman,have respect for yourself/others,& you’re successful then a man should be proving himself worthy enough for you!..It chess not checkers..A real man will want you for you!Not for your money & not for your body..Think about it Jay-Z cheated on Beyonce’ l0l that says alot!..