Is this pen-pal vibe?

Home Forums Texting Advice Is this pen-pal vibe?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Elise 2 days, 16 hours ago.

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  • #929479 Reply


    I recently connected with a guy on Linkedin (he sent me an invitation) who I do not know of and we have been chatting coming 4 weeks.

    Initially, I thought he was just being friendly by striking a conversation but over the weeks, I realised that we share common interests and beliefs and he does ask quite meaningful questions.

    The frequency of our messages are rather low (we would reply each’s messages in intervals of 12hrs) and he always asks open-ended questions to keep the conversation going even though there were a few times my reply ended with a close-ended answer. I guess the time we interacted was not really at the right time also as we both are university students and currently in the midst of project submissions and exams and I’m not sure if he’s trying to keep the conversation going till the end of exams or…..
    I’m starting to wonder if this guy is treating me like a pen-pal or am I over-thinking…any thoughts?

    #929480 Reply


    pen pal on linkedin? I am pretty sure this is a site where people talk about work… seems pretty strange to me but maybe I haven’t lived long enough haha
    what are you hoping to achieve by having a conversation with him? stop replying if you’re not into ‘messaging stranger every 12h’ thing

    #929481 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    It sounds like a pen pal situation to me. Does he live close to you? Is there any possibility of meeting him in person? (if that’s what you want). Some people just genuinely like pen pals and don’t want anything beyond that.

    What do you want from this interaction? Do you want to meet? If you’re tired of writing him, just stop replying. If you want to meet in person and it seems feasible, then suggest getting together for a coffee.

    #929482 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    I’ll also add, since you met on Linkedin and not a dating site, I wouldn’t assume this guy has a romantic interest. I also think it’s OK to take the lead and ask for a coffee date (if that’s what you want) since the circumstances of your meeting are not romantic.

    #929610 Reply


    Hi all, thank you for the advice! have been busy with school lately so slow with the reply

    Initially we did talk about studies, work and future aspirations but the conversation slowly steered to plans for Dec and other topics like skincare etc so.
    I have to admit that he does capture my attention but from the looks from it, I might be overthinking and it could only be a friendly conversation as his bio did state that “I enjoy having conversations with like-minded individuals”.
    Or perhaps he could be too nice or friendly to ignore people.

    I did have the thought of asking him out for a coffee after exams but now I’m not really sure if he’s interested from his side.

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