Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › is it possible to get a potential interest back?
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Maggie.
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Marie
so there’s this guy that i really like a whole lot. we were getting on pretty well and went on some dates as well. we were talking and getting to know each other and kept in contact with each other on and off again the span of a couple of months (he lives about an hour away from me). here’s where it gets tricky because almost 2 months ago, communication started going down and the last i heard from him was about 4-5 weeks ago. in theory, i’m ok with the idea of moving on since i’ve done that with plenty of guys in the past and letting the situation be but he’s the first guy i actually had a connection with in over a year and the first person i see myself with (soppy and stupid, i know). i want to reach out to him but I’m very unsure about it because i don’t wanna seem needy or desperate. like i said i really do like him and i wanna know what should i do to spark things up between us again.
thanks!Tallspicy
He does not feel the same way. If he did, he would have made you his girlfriend. Instead he walked away.
And jeepers, how would you reconnect with him, when you should be social distancing until April 30th. This is not your man, he knows where to find you.
Marie
Tallspicy, never said anything about physically meeting up with him just that i wanted to reach out to him and whether or not if i should.
but thanks for the advice.Khadija
My suggestion would be to not reach out.
Any guy who really likes you wouldn’t go 4-5 weeks no contact.What exactly were you planning on saying anyways?
Ss
if it was a week no contact i would maybe let it slide and reach out … but 4/5 weeks?! This man is not interested and you reaching out is only likely to elicit either no response or a very luke warm one… either way you will feel crappy.
As much as it hurts you need to accept that no response is a response. What possible reason could he have for not replying for two weeks that would be acceptable to you? I’ve been there, I’ve hoped and dreamed a guy i like might just need a little reminder to jog his interest, that maybe he feels he cant contact you as he left it too long… but its just wishful thinking. You should never have to remind a man that you exist. Men aren’t that complicated. When they like you then you will know and no memory jogging will be required x
Liz Lemon
I agree, don’t reach out. You say the communication started to go down 2 months ago and completely stopped basically a month ago. This would not happen with a man who is interested in you. Contacting him will not elicit the response you want (you want him to be enthused and communicative, I understand)– and that will just make you feel worse.
You say he lives an hour from you, it’s quite possible he met someone closer to where he lives. Who knows.
I think mentally you need to let this guy go. The problem is inside your head. You say you dated off and on for only a couple months– so you didn’t really know him. That’s not much time at all (especially if you were on and off). You think you had this great “connection” but clearly you didn’t because he faded away– and that’s fine! He wasn’t the guy for you. Stop telling yourself this story about the great connection you had with this guy. You didn’t have one, because if you did, he wouldn’t have disappeared. It will be easier for you to move on and find a guy who IS a great match for you, if you are not hung up on this guy who wasn’t the right guy for you anyway.
Maggie
I once had a ghoster reappear after 2 months. At that point, I had already pegged him a player (he blew hot and cold like crazy) and I didn’t give a sh*t. But he really wanted to keep communicating with me (noooo idea what was going on in his mind, we weren’t even living on the same continent anymore). I talked with him back and forth for a month or more because I was emotionally detached at that point. Eventually, I just called him out on all his sh***y behavior because I didn’t care if I never heard from him again. And after I called him out, I didn’t. And I’m still so glad that I sent that message. It was honestly a pretty ideal way to resolve a hot and cold/ghosting situation. BUT my point is, don’t wait for them to reach back out. They usually don’t. And even if they do, they still aren’t the right person for you. I can look back at it and laugh now.
Honestly, with every single man who ever treated me poorly or ghosted me…I can look back and say wow…thank god that ended. Usually I laugh about how caught up I was at the moment. I’m getting ghosted right now by somebody I really liked. It hurts now, but in a few weeks, I won’t care. I’ll see all the ways he was a bad match and inconsiderate, and I’ll keep it moving. I suggest you do the same <3
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