I’m lost

Rose,I apologize for what you’re going through..I must say that I do think that you did the right thing by leaving him..The first thing I think you should do is accept the fact that you two weren’t meant to be..Secondly,focus on yourself..Remind yourself of why you left him in the first place..That reminder alone can give you the strength to not go back to where you were hurt..& above all else pray for strength,pray for progression,& for this hurt to lift from your spirit..You may not see this now nor do you feel any more at ease,but each day you’re growing stronger..Each day without his disrespectful mannerisms is a day you continue to stand up for yourself..You have a piece of mind now,take advantage..Understand that sometimes we’re more hurt because we’ve allowed things to get so far out of hand than the actual lost of someone that we thought was worthy of our love..Rose,you are brave & you are free..I send you a million warm embraces..Take care..

Just accept your thoughts and let them pass like leaves floating down a stream and allow yourself to fully feel your feelings… Go into the sadness and pain and hurt and really feel it. Don’t think while you’re feeling your feelings, just go into it and feel it and let it lessen. If you keep doing this the pain will diminish over time; it’ll come back in waves but you’ll be able to tolerate it. If you want more help check out Eckhart Tolle on Youtube.

Agree about feelings your feelings! Tend to you. Time WILL assist in healing. Also — I think these experiences can be invitations to self love. Invites to fall in love with yourself. I’m not saying that to BS you, or as some kind of fancy coping mechanism I’ve constructed. I mean that every woman who dedicates her life to being a healthy, authentic human aware of her own infinite worth – has her heartbroken before she can evolve. I had an all consuming, bright, beautiful love affair that I treasure in my memory. But I would not wish it now. The relationship did contain enough of ME. Too much of an ‘us’ and I think I would have grown past it. I’m convinced that part of a healthy, authentic human growing process is not ever allowing someone to completely break your heart again because you know that — what’s meant for you will NOT pass you by — and that people in your life who are worthy of you will CHOOSE you and you’re okay for how long connection last or… don’t. It STILL hurts! For sure. But not like this. Many of us have been there.

You’ll be alright eventually. Moment to moment tend to you. It’s all you can do. Then one day wake up and do better than wallow. Then wake up again and again until you feel better. It will happen if you don’t let him mess you about and IF you’re determined to heal. Ester Hicks videos on YouTube helped me loads.

Rose
Your heartbreak is breaking my heart. We’ve all been in your shoes… and it seems like you will never feel good again. You will. The overwhelming, sinking feeling of “what now?” is awful. It truly hurts.

When will you feel better? There’s no exact time but it will start when you give yourself permission to be distracted from thoughts of him. You are mourning a loss. Think about the stages of grief. Your intellect may tell you this wasn’t a death but your emotions often don’t see any difference. They feel what they feel… in turn, you feel that.

It’s ok to feel what you do. Sometimes though, as hollow as it can seem, you have to go through the motions of normalcy to get back to it. Start small at first. Watch a show you used to enjoy, or anything you aren’t stressing yourself out over by having to commit to seeing it through if it gets too hard. That won’t transform you but it will start your mind and body on that path.

Distraction from him will happen a minute at a time. One minute will turn into two, and then five, and so on. Once this starts, the times he is in your thoughts won’t have such sharp edges. He will become a dull flicker. Your light will take over.

Start by giving yourself permission to think about you. It’s hard, I know. You’ll torment yourself with wondering what’s the point of anything without him? Step by step that thought will fade. I promise.

Also, it has been shown your body reacts to heartache like it does to physical pain. Ibuprofin, acetaminophen, and aspirin can help you with some of the physical reactions. Relief from physical pain can sometimes “trick” your brain into sending out different chemicals that will improve your mood.
Lots of hugs to you!