I left him


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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Carla 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #928980 Reply

    Carla

    Hello, hope all are doing well in these crazy times

    Speaking of crazy….I left him for another man and now I realized that he is one that I want.
    He is no longer talking to me.
    I’m no longer with other guy because there is no point of wasting his or mine time.
    Should I try and get him (first guy) back?
    We didn’t date but we were seeing each other exclusively. He was always busy and that was main reason I decided to leave him and hoped that other man will help me to get over him. Didn’t happened even after 6 months.
    Help needed.

    #928981 Reply

    Raven

    How can you not date but be exclusive?

    #928985 Reply

    tammy

    you left him because he was always busy. you didn’t leave him because you developed feelings for another man. so basically you now want to go back and settle for something that you were not ready to settle for earlier? i think you shut that door for a reason. so let it stay shut. time to move on.

    #928989 Reply

    Carla

    Raven…..we were more than FWB but we weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend. We never had a special talk or anything that today dating rules advise. He did call me his girl and I referred to him as my man.

    #928990 Reply

    Carla

    Tammy…..it does make sense what are you saying and that would be probably most logical thing to do. I think I’m not ready to move on after so many years of history with him. He was trying to change his workload.

    #928996 Reply

    Ewa

    Carla,
    men who wants you will never be that busy, I understand sometimes it is work something he needs to maintain his social life, but if he wanted you he’d find time for you.
    no point going back to someone who was essentially wasting your time by not having time for you

    #928997 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    Ewa is totally right, a man who wants you will make time for you. This guy is not asking you to come back either, in fact he’s not even speaking to you. What makes you think he would take you back, and if he did, what makes you think anything would be different? Why would he change his schedule for you, when he’s not even asking you to come back and offering to change?

    I agree with the other ladies that it makes no sense to go back. In fact, it’s a bad idea to use a guy to “get over” another guy. Take a break and take some time to heal. See your friends/family, work on your hobbies, whatever. It’s not healthy to bounce from man to man.

    #929003 Reply

    Maddie

    When you say you left him, it was a forced dump of a situationship. You wanted to be with guy #1 but he didn’t want to commit and wasn’t making enough time for you because he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Then you tried to immediately rebound with another guy instead of sitting alone with yourself for a bit to process things not working out how you wanted with guy #1, but it didn’t work to make you feel better or get over it.

    So, no, don’t try to get guy #1 back, there’s nothing to get back. He already gave you all he was good for, which was not commitment, even though he had years to commitment! This is called “sunk cost” and further investment in him will be further lost time and effort and emotional energy. Be single for a while and figure yourself out and what you are actually looking for, then don’t accept less. Learn to enjoy your own company more, too. You won’t feel how you’re hoping to for the guys who are better and more available matches if you’re not more comfortable sitting with yourself first.

    #929006 Reply

    Carla

    All those comments make lots of sense. It is just hard to accept them but that is usually case with the truth.
    Still small part of me is trying to reach out and see where would that lead.

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