I don't want this.


Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals I don't want this.

This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  ANM Staff 1 month, 1 week ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • #933749

    Bitsy

    [deleted]

    #933751

    Ewa

    girl! don’t even think twice ! he told you he wasn’t attracted to you because of your weight , now that you are his type he is back on the radar, f him…
    no offence to you but I am more than sure that he gets all the girls and now you are a challenge to him because you don’t want him , as soon as you show him you’re interested he will reject you again. Not worth it!

    #933752

    Amy S

    Oh in the love of god no. What happens in 5 years and you’re 8 months pregnant and bigger does he hit up your friend
    Again. Yikes. Just no. Never. God no. Eugh. Yuck. Jeez.

    #933754

    Raven

    Oh. Hell. No.

    #933757

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    If you want to have a relationship where you never feel good enough, then yes, cave and “give him a chance” lol

    Don’t be shocked when your relationship feels like being “good enough” is always just out of reach, where the conversations are a constant combination of half-compliments coupled with put-downs and diminishment.

    I don’t have the energy to walk through all the red flags.

    I’m glad you got into great shape. That’s amazing, great job.

    But your mindset needs to change too.

    You can’t keep chasing an idea of getting to “good enough”… if you’re just “good enough”, then you’ll be happy.

    Why?

    Because the people who chase “good enough” repel or ignore the good people and gravitate towards people who dangle the possibility that if you were just “good enough” then they’ll be good to you & value you.

    There are manipulators out there, they exist and it’s unfortunate when you meet them. But also, regardless of other people, you need to retune your inner radio station, so to speak.

    If you are on the frequency of pursuing “good enough”, you are implicitly believing that your current reality isn’t “good enough”. You need a different relationship with reality.

    Instead of feeling like life is about finally being “good enough”, a new question could be, “How much acceptance can I bring into this moment? How much enjoyment? How much enthusiasm?”

    Life isn’t about getting to happiness. Life is about getting better and better at bringing happiness into the present moment, no matter what it is.

    #933758

    Bitsy

    [deleted]

    #933759

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    The idea of “I am enough” or “I am not enough” is just an idea in our mind.

    There’s no reality to it. You can’t pour “I am enough” into a cup. It’s just an idea, a mental dream.

    And that dream of “I am not enough” makes you emotionally react because you believe in that idea like it’s real, not a dream.

    Think of the last time you woke up from a dream. Maybe in the dream you were all caught up in what was happening. Once you woke up, you didn’t feel like there was unfinished business or a goal that you still needed to achieve.

    You woke up and realized, “Oh that was just a dream. Not real.” And then you forgot about it, or at least weren’t at all emotionally invested in it.

    The idea of “I am enough” or “I am not enough but working towards it” or “I am not enough”… it’s just a dream.

    There’s nothing to solve or resolve. You could spend 20 years playing with your ideas about “being enough”… or you could just wake up.

    This guy could see that you have a dysfunctional relationship with your dream of being enough and he toyed with that. Maybe it was intentional, maybe it was accidental, who knows.

    Point is, the root of this is your relationship with your idea of “enough” and chasing of it.

    If you’re in the desert, and you see something shaped like a snake, you might get afraid. And the closer you are to it, the more fearful you might feel…

    But then… if you notice that it’s not a snake but just a piece of rope, the fear is immediately gone.

    You could get as close as you want to it. You could pick it up and toss it around.

    Why?

    Because there’s no emotional reaction to it anymore.

    Why?

    Because you know it’s not a snake! It’s just a piece of rope!

    In the same way…

    This guy is just a guy, saying words.

    His words mean nothing about you. Your interactions with him mean nothing about you. What you do or don’t do means nothing about you.

    The only thing making you think about him has nothing to do with him at all, but rather, with your dream of “not enough”.

    Wake up. It’s a dream.

    Wake up. It’s a piece of rope, not a snake.

    Wake up. This has nothing to do with love or relationships.

    This man is a gift, but not for the reason you think it is.

    The gift is: This will be the moment that you realize that he is a loser because, in order for him to succeed with you, he needs to keep you drowning in the feeling that you’re a loser.

    Let that sink in.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by  Eric Charles.
    #933764

    ANM Staff
    Keymaster

    Hi Better Off Single – As usual, I need to remind you that you’re banned. I do see your multiple attempted failed posts before you used your proxy to change IP address. I don’t spend much time reading them, but you did say in one of them “f*uck you Eric, get out of my personal space!”.

    There are many, many other posts from you that are automatically blocked by the filter because they’re incredibly rude and profanity-ridden. So, it’s bizarre that you then turn-around and fabricate a story, trying to get community attention on it.

    You need to seek professional help. This forum cannot help you, especially since you are posting fantasies that are not related to your real problems. You’ve been banned for many years for many reasons, but the biggest reason now is because you only use this forum as a crutch for your self-worth. Think about that: You are fighting tooth-and-nail to force posts onto a forum where you’re banned for the rest of your life because you need to prove something to yourself. That is sad!

    BoS, you don’t need to post here to make yourself feel important. It’s healthier to do other things. This forum has dumped you, and you need to accept that. Each time someone recognizes one of your stories and calls you out, we feel sorry for you.

    You are acting like a stalker when you try so hard to force a post onto this space, and that’s not healthy. We are not going to have a conversation about this, either. That’s the major disadvantage of trying to force posts onto a forum where you’re banned: They’re going to be one-sided. I’m going to talk at you, and that’s it. You don’t get to respond.

    There’s nothing for you to prove to me or this community. Seek help from a professional – they are paid to give you their undivided attention.

    (To the community, I do apologize if this whole thing seems flippant. Even if this person is banned, I don’t want to be flippant or disrespectful. It’s just that…. I don’t really put a lot of time into thinking about how to respond to this person anymore. I got better things to do….)

    Edit: Eric’s in the loop about this — I just post separately from him since I want him to be able to focus his time on writing responses (which he loves!) and not worry about “moderation stuff”. Cheers!

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