This topic contains 0 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Allison 1 month, 1 week ago.
February 28, 2021 at 3:46 pm #846230
My boyfriend and I broke up last week. We were together for 2 years and are very good for each other. We have planned a future together (kids, weddings, etc..) and were very happy. He’s always kind of struggled with depression and a year ago he tore his acl and wasn’t able to do much physical therapy because of covid so his recovery was a lot longer than expected. I think this injury and covid triggered his depression and lowered his self esteem. We are best friends and spend almost everyday together. Recently he has been struggling with his depression and feeling very anxious, I searched for therapists he might like (he’s been open to therapy) but didn’t actually follow through to seeing one. He’s been in a lot of contact with his mom too because she helps him with these situations.
Last sunday he woke up in a bad mood after we had a great night before and was crying. I tried to talk through it with him and he said he needed to learn how to take care of himself. He said he can’t focus on himself when he’s struggling because he cares for me and will end up putting me first. He’s definitely a people pleaser and I have never been dependent on him for happiness or anything like that so I didn’t really understand but tried to be supportive by offering space and telling him we can get through it and I’m always supporting him. He insisted we broke up but said it’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to do and when he gets better we can get back together. I left it at that and said I support him and is there for him, and I left. He was very upset and kept hugging me and telling me how much he loved me, as I did the same.
I called him later that night saying “your my best friend and I care about that before any romantic relationship, I don’t want to lose my best friend and I’m here to support you in any way I can” he said he loved me and appreciates how understanding I am and we left it at that.
It’s been a week now and he will text me to check up on me and I say I’m doing good and really just focusing on myself and my yoga (im an instructor), he says he’s really proud of me and I ask how he is doing and he says better. I’m attempting no contact because I thought that’s what he wanted but why does he keep reaching out? Is no contact the best in this situation?
I feel lost and confused and I know it’s nothing I did but I feel so abandoned and lonely. It was so sudden and unexpected. I know he’s the one for me but does he realize that? How long will it be until he comes back? Can I help him in any way?
I want him to know I love and support him but I’m not just going to be waiting for him to come back. Is there a way to help him?