Hurt, Confused, Not Sure What to do..

That’s the terrible thing about texting- guys can text tons of women and it really means not so much to guys. I’d let it go but just remember it and be aware of it if it comes up again. Remember actions mean so much more than words. My bf has several female friends he texts and I don’t like it at all, but I know he loves me and shows that consistently.

I had an odd texting occurance once with my guy about 3 months back (we’ve been seeing each other almost 8 months) where I assumed he was texting another woman by an out of context message arriving (he was referring to having just got into bed, it made no sense in our chat, looked like an answer to a question I hadn’t asked) but I called him out on it immediately by asking if his text had crossed, he said his phone was being weird and he didn’t understand it, and I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt but told him that I wanted to trust him but occasionally found it difficult and that hadn’t helped. Things have gone from strength to strength for us since then, I trust him absolutely, and we’re now at the cheesy social media posts stage LOL.

I think sometimes all you can do is admit the things that trigger you when they do, confront them, and see how his account of the situation makes you feel, and make an informed decision as to how you react and move forward.

Hi Everyone,
Thank you for your input on this. It’s helped me to relax some, and show me the bigger picture. I guess I should’ve included the history of his friend, M.
A month back I was leaving his house at 8am on a Sunday when a text came in. He immediately answered. I”m thinking it’s his siblings, one who was ill, or his children, he has a 21 yr old and 13 yr old twins. He had the alerts on so that was a good sign. He looks at the phone and makes a face. I ask him if everything is ok. He says it’s M. Then he says, “why is she texting what does she want” So I told him “either ignore her, since it’s 8am on a Sunday, or answer and ask” So he decides to ask her what is it. She decides to rudely say “relax” How do I know? He showed me.
When I saw her reaction, and how she wasn’t really trying to find out what he was doing, I realized they hadn’t made plans. When he finally decides to ignore her, she texts “is M there? Is she driving you to the store? I can lend you money but it would be hard for me now”
THAT sent me over the edge. He did not answer her saying anything that I feel he should’ve. I grabbed the phone but he took it back. I drove away and on the way home he and I spoke aobut it he agreed what she did was insensitive, and wrong, and it looked very suspect.
Here’s why I don’t like her. She managed to convince him I was cheating 3 months before that. I supplied proof and he had apologized but that put a distance between us. Since then we are working hard to get back to what we were as we both have feelings for one another. HOwever, this text did something to me and I can’t seem to relax. He defended her, saying she’s a nice person, theyve been friends 3 years and she has a man of 8 years now. That she’s never given him money and was the reason he decided to go to school so he’s grateful to her. That shes a nice person, has 3 kids, and is just charasmatic.
But he also said he’s been pulling back, and she is feeling it. That he feels i’m the woman in his life he needs to be with and slowly their friendship will dwindle.