He Went Back To His Ex After Being With Me For More Than A Year

Oh my, I’m so sorry this has happened and you are in so much pain. Truly an awful experience. What a deceitful man, no honesty or integrity to lie right from the start that he was married and then to discover this.
What dignity you’ve conducted yourself with too. It hurts like hell, that is clear, but in time hopefully you will feel relieved to have rided yourself of this lying dishonest man.
He won’t trust his ex ever again and don’t think he’ll be happy. He cane back to find her with another man? Judy imagine how trust will work whilst he’s deployed.
Even in the fnd he couldn’t tell you the truth. What an arsehole.
Dear lady please think only of yourself no and getting through each day, don’t be surprised if he tries to crawl back, as what he’s gone back to won’t work.

so sorry to hear what happened with you. he is a liar first and foremost. he should have told you right at the start that hes still married. he didn’t. he talked about future and stuff with you without even coming clean about his marital status. he is not the man you thought he was and loved. this guy is a cheater, liar, user and a coward. shameless man with zero integrity and no character. you have had a lucky escape. you have been played cause no honest person would do what he did. f**k him. u don’t need sh*ty men like that in your life!

just like one poster mentioned above. I also have the feeling he will be bac! do not let him re-enter. do not ever talk to him ! right now your hurting but when you actually are over the initial hurt you will see what an ass**** of a guy he is. you have been played by a player. next time be a little more careful.

Thanks girls. I appreciate your words. It’s been a month and I feel a little better. Some days I feel good, some days I feel like crap, some nights I watch Netflix in peace, some nights I cry myself to sleep…but I think that this is a day by day thing and it also requires a lot of effort from me which I’m doing. I deleted his number and I think it is an important step. I blocked both of them on social media, so I don’t feel the need to check on them. If he ever comes back which I think he will, my answer will be a no, and even in my most vulnerable(which I am right now), I am aware that I can’t and won’t take him back. I invested so much time in making him happy and make him feel supported and heard, that you aren’t ready for such a brutal disappointment.

I am also wishing you the best. Loving means risking and this man was brutally awful with you. How could you have known? I feel balance and kindness in your post describing how you are tending to you. Most days I feel like all of life is a crap shoot and we just do our best with the hands dealt to us. Wishing you peace and less unrest. Also that you’ll feel, quicker than you think, grateful to the universe for removing someone from your life that shouldn’t have been there. That man showed you unequivocally who he is so thank goodness there was no need for waffling or angst if you were making the right decision! What a gift – Though I know it doesn’t feel like it. You’ll get through this. You are not alone.

I am so very sorry about what happened to you. He was able to lie so very well. You dodged a huge bullet my dear. Can you imagine what your life would have been like with him? I can and it is not pretty.

I am glad you are getting stronger….and I agree that these two deserve each other. Neither one of them can trust the other.

You are not the one in the total wrong here…so why should you feel worthless? You should be very proud of yourself. Life teaches us lessons….some are very hard to bear but what we learn will make us more wary and aware that we have to check a person out. Do not give your heart until you have learned all there is to know. You situation with the long distance and deployment made that hard to do, so that is why meeting and getting to know family and friends is so very important.

You did nothing wrong and should not suffer these beasties. Next time make sure you completely check a man out as much as possible. Long distance checking is very hard to do so maybe you need to stay local.

My very best to you.

Thank you girls. I’m happy to read all of your replies, even though it is a sad situation no one wants to go through. I appreciate your advice and also to read other women that went through similar situations it makes me feel like I’m not the only one and gives me a little hope.

Marge, your story is so so sad, cause there’s an innocent little creature in the middle. You went through hell pregnant and that must have been one of the saddest moments of your life. I’m so happy that you’re doing better and that your baby girl is that ray of sunshine that makes your days bright. Also, how amazing it is that now you’re now closer to the Lord, I’m sure He was the one holding you through all the process. Best wishes to you and your girlie!

Today is a good day, and in this month I have learned that you will have good and bad days. So even though I’m not particularly religious, I’m very spiritual and I think it helps to deal with the pain in the bad days. When I keep myself busy, I tend to forget and it’s like free therapy. So this weekend, I’m busy with a huge birthday party for a cousin and a family reunion, and that helps a lot. So I’m 100% Monday will be a rough depressive day and that it will be hard to wake up from bed, do my makeup and go to work. Week days when I’m home alone are the really s****y ones. I’m glad that even in these circumstances, I can make other girls relate to my story and feel a little support from other girls. I never used this forum but I searched Google for an advice and then I saw this forum, and thought it was the perfect platform to share my story and get all off my chest and maybe help some other girls, cause something positive will come from this. Maybe the next time I give an update I will be super sad, but I’ll take an advantage of today being a good day and I’ll spend quality time with my loved ones.

Hey y’all. I’m doing fine, better than last month. I did a mistake though, even when some of you advice not to do it. I checked some of his family members social media and saw him on Thanksgiving with her and wearing his wedding band. I zoomed his hand and then I cried. Man, some days I miss him so much and there are times when something good happens or I see something funny and I just wanna tell him because that’s how it used to be. But I’m doing well, looking forward to a new job opportunity in DC and spending the holidays with the family. Whoever is going through the same, be strong it will be okay!

Liza, its going to take awhile to work through all the emotions until you reach the stage of ‘indifference’ which is when the thoughts of him begin to fade and have no desire to see or talk to him ever again. You will eventually get there, whereas it looks like you have a new adventure ahead of you so that should help keep you busy and put all your focus on you :o)

Out with old and in with a brand new year!

Liza, I just happened to come across your story… I’m so happy you are doing better!! I hope you don’t mind me asking for advice. My sweet boyfriend of almost a year has hired an ex girlfriend. She is in another state than ours, but will still be a part of his daily work. They dated for two years, she is 20 years younger (than both of us) beautiful, thin and everything I am not 😣 I had my meltdown with him and he has tried to reassure me that there is nothing between them. I’m doing my best not to ruin our relationship, but this is tough. He’s never given me a reason to doubt him, but I’m that insecure girl! I drive him crazy with my questions, but I just need his reassurance that there isn’t reason to worry! Please, anyone, tell me your thoughts. Thank you!!

Hi girls! Decided to give an update about my life and a little advice to “S”. I’m doing great! I can’t believe I’m happy again and I’m just so grateful I am. It’s been 9 months and those first months were difficult as there were more questions than answers and I felt worthless and stupid. It took me a while to feel 100% confident again, time heals and the people you surround yourself with are so important in the process. I just have this weird feeling that he is not happy right now, but I still wish him the best because at the end I understood the pain he inflicted in me had nothing to do with me and my value as a woman, but it had a lot to do with himself, his demons and his Selfishness. I still miss him some days, but this chapter is officially closed.

And S, I’m so sorry you’re going through hard times in your relationship. I think that us women even if we’re confident, we can feel insecure about exes, especially if they’re still close. My advice is to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt, I think that if he never lied to you, you should believe him when he says its nothing. But always keep an eye, not because you don’t trust him but because you care about your relationship. Be careful not to confuse your intuition with your ego. Communication is key. Wish you the best!

Thank you Liza for sharing your story and updates.

I’m currently in the same situation. Luckily we’ve been together only for 7 months. He only mentioned that he was depressed when we first know each other. He said talking and texting with me helped him to sleep better at night and it really means so much to him.

We had a wonderful few months together. I’m in love and was really hoping for a future with him. Just like your story, he suddenly changed. The way he treated and text me. I let him be for almost a month. I thought he was stressed and so I gave him some space and time.

When I finally decided to text him again, he finally told me the cause of his depression. He was married with two kids. His wife left him and ask for divorce. I asked him about us and he said that he dont want to think about relationship right now.

I was so broken and dissapointed. Its really hard for me to like someone and fall in love and when i finally open my heart for someone, this happened.

Just like what u did, I try to find his ex’s social media and what i found really broke my heart. I saw a recent picture of them together having dinner. I’m guessing its her birthday.

Ladies i am so sorry to hear this i have been going through this similiar situation but a little more different any advice would be great but i know this funk shall pass soon the situation is a little more different though. Just when your good they come running back sigh.