Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › He ‘suddenly’ lost interest
- This topic has 13 replies and was last updated 2 years, 2 months ago by
tammy.
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Alina
So I was at work with a guy and I liked him since the beginning. He was my type and he was nice and brought me water and stuff. I didn’t think much of it though until he started talking to me more. He would always initiate conversation and say my name often and he would tease me a lot. I was very shy with him so I didn’t do the same. One day I said that I found a new job at the cinema and he said he would text me and we could go to cinema together since I can let people in for free but he said he would pay for food. I didnt know if he was serious so I didn’t give a good answer. That day he also said my outfit was nice. Since that day I thought he might have interest in me and i got 10 times as nervous around him. I didn’t say much when he talked to me and laughed because I was nervous. Then two weeks later he didn’t talk to me as much and talked to another girl in front of me. I got really jealous and as a result initiated conversation. He teased me a lot in that conversation he also said I was shy and the cinema job would probably make me more open which kind of hurt me. he was kind of mean to me but it was kind of funny and we talked a lot (idk how to explain it). and he said he would come by when i work at the cinema to see how i do my job(but he didn’t say we would go together). in the end I broke two glasses but he laughed and helped me clean up. then the time after that the next day at work (which was yesterday) he didn’t initiate conversation at all. he always talked to the other girl when i was there and i felt so insecure so i only said something to him once. now i feel like he hates me cause i didn’t show interest and was too shy. cause he used to talk to me so much. now i’m so sad cause i really liked him and i kinda already had my hopes up very high but the next time at work will be the last time and if it goes bad like last time i’ll probably never see him again. i feel so gulity that i was too shy the whole time and i can’t get over it and think about it all day that i might have had a chance wth him if i had acted differently :( i feel like i can’t forgive myself
Rubi
You were yourself nothing wrong with that. It is true being open creates a smooth vibe, but if you’re not use to talking to guys, being shy does not jeopardise your chances with a guy that is truly interested in you. Unless of course you’re not conversing at all or refusing to hang with him.
I will caution you though to not fall for someone so quickly just because they are nice to you. Could be he is just this way towards girls and not necessarily making you jealous. Or could be he found the other girl more easier to end up sleeping with and you’re more of a challenge. Being a challenge is always good. One thing for sure he’s a flirt. Instead of feeling jealous I would lose interest. He doesn’t seem too invested as he hasn’t tried at all to really get to know you if dating you is his intention.
Next thing I would say is, do not date your co workers..ever.
Rita
So I met this guy a month ago on a dating app. He made it clear that he just wants us to be friends of which I didn’t accept in the first place, but later on I accepted. He’s been nice to me, he calls me boo, hun, babe and he was asking me how the marriage proceedure is in my country. Note the that we’re from different countries. but he’s has never proposed me. Help siter, to say I’m confused is an understatement.
Rita
So I met this guy a month ago on a dating app. He made it clear that he just wants us to be friends of which I didn’t accept in the first place, but later on I accepted. He’s been nice to me, he calls me boo, hun, babe and he was asking me how the marriage proceedure is in my country. Note the that we’re from different countries. but he’s has never proposed me. Help a sister, to say I’m confused is an understatement.
Maddie
You should start your own thread, but if he’s not acting like you’re dating AND he said you’re not dating, then there’s nothing to be confused about. You’re just friends and you’re not dating. He may be curious about your customs, and he flirts with you and gives you pet names because you allow it and never asked him to stop. Hold better boundaries if you don’t want him flirting if it doesn’t mean anything, such as telling him your friends only use your name not pet names and you’d feel more comfortable if he did as well. A guy can be nice to you, especially if he wants to be friends and believes you are friends, without being romantically interested. Nothing wrong with that unless you want more, in which case you should distance yourself and get over any romantic feelings before trying to be friends. After only a month, you still barely know him and it’s fine to just move on and not want to even be friends.
Rita
Thank you Maddie for your advice, the problem here is he acts as if we’re a couple i fail to understand him.
Maddie
He’s not acting like you’re a couple, though. He’s being nice and using pet names. Nice words after a month don’t meet anything. Taking you out on dates, spending time with you, integrating you into his life with friends and family, and saying he wants a relationship, asking you to be his girlfriend, and committing means acting like a couple.
Have you met in person or only on the app? You say you’re from different countries but it’s unclear if you are currently speaking to each other from different countries. If you haven’t met in person and he isn’t taking you on dates, then assume he’s just a friend or wants your attention for his own ego.
redcurleysue
Advice to the shy young lady. You are too concerned with what others think. People who are confident feel that everyone is just dying to hear their next words….they believe that they are a great companion….that is the secret. And if someone does not want to be around them then that is their problem. Think this and all will be better for you.
Rita
We’ve met already
keya
I meet this man and right away the attraction was there a few weeks wet by and i missed a few calls from him then he just stopped all communication with me so i texted and told him that i would not call or text him anymore right away it felt like i lost someone very important but i cant chase him what should i do
Mary
I hope women will soon understand that online dating is not dating. We should take our time to get to know people, let them earn our trust and affection. You just don’t know someone you’ve been talking to online, even for months. When a guy loses interest, it’s his issue to deal with. Self love, confidence, exciting life are mottos to live by. Chose the man who is consistent and improve your life and happiness. Not the empty shell who says sweet bullsh*t. You and only you decide if he is worthy or not… Period.
Mary
Sorry for typos… It’s saddening to see people (men and women alike) sell their own happiness short.
tammy
to the shy woman, hey he was just being friendly with a coworker at a workplace. please do not read anything more into this. focus on work and being friendly & polite with coworkers. that’s all.
@rita. he said he just wants to be friends. please do not read anything more into this friendly talk. unless he tells you outright that he has changed his mind and wants to explore his friendship with you to see if you guys could be more.
agree with mary. to give an example. i met this guy few months back online. he kept asking to meet and i kept pushing it off. i just didn’t feel things cld work with him. anyways he kept pursuing and i finally met him on sat. what a bore. till you meet in person few times, you cant really know much online. for me it was ok bec i was never interested in this guy. but he was. he wasted so many months pursuing me which yielded him zilch.
tammy
another thing. he was being friendly to you and that other lady bec you are his coworkers. doesnt necessarily mean hes interested in you or her.
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