This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Eliz 6 months, 1 week ago.
July 16, 2019 at 5:53 pm #757196
So I just received some photos from a guy I’m currently dating. As usual he sent me a few photos from his day, most of them from a hike he did. But three really stood out for all the wrong reasons. One of them were of his bare, hairy legs in the bath tub. Another one was his reflection in a window while he was sunbathing in his briefs with his shoes and socks on. The last one was a close up of a blister on his foot, that he got after the hike due to his new hiking boots. I didn’t ask for nor did I want to see any of these photos.
Recently, he’s also sent quite a few selfies. Often when he’s out hiking, he will take several ones in different spots, and send them all. I hardly ever take any selfies, much less send any, so to me this is a bit over the top. I must add, he does take a lot of photos, not only selfies, but I find the amount of selfies a bit concerning.
Yesterday I got one of him sitting in his living room shirtless. It was just his head and bare shoulders visible, but still. He said he wanted to send it as the evening light was so nice. I’m sure it was supposed to make me happy, but I just find it awkward. He’s a nice guy and I’m afraid he’ll take offense if I ask him to tone it down, as he seems a bit sensitive. How much of a red flag is it? Would I be too quick to write him off at this point?July 16, 2019 at 6:17 pm #757198
Ignore & don’t reinforce the behavior…July 16, 2019 at 6:42 pm #757201
Hysterical! He appreciates how he looks.July 16, 2019 at 8:32 pm #757219
T from NY
Would def be a turn off for me as well. Gawd! Men and they’re damn selfies!! I have also found that men that take a lot of selfies are usually talking to a lot of women…. But if this guy is otherwise good to you, consistent, and not self-absorbed in other ways — I would just put it down to him wanting to keep you thinking of him and sharing his life.
(I wouldn’t like it either though. I prefer men who have better things to do than being preoccupied taking pics of themselves.)July 17, 2019 at 6:32 am #757243
The bare legs are no big deal, it could be worse it could be completely naked while hiking. That would be a red flag.July 17, 2019 at 9:45 am #757257
At least it isn’t his dick.July 17, 2019 at 10:36 am #757261
Absolutely agree with L!! LOL However, I’ve been on the receiving end of selfies from a guy I dated and it was a TOTAL turn-off to me! As I don’t do selfies or feel a need to document everything I do from what I eat to where I am or where I hiked, or got a blister, etc. I think social media seems to have made people into a bunch of narcissists! It’s ridiculous. Thank goodness I married a man who has absolutely no presence on social media and despite the fact he’s hot doesn’t feel the need to take pictures of himself!
I’m assuming this guy isn’t just some other stuck up jerk or you wouldn’t be seeing him. And hurting a guy’s ego early in the dating process is something I would be reluctant to do so I would start off subtle. Maybe when you’re together and your phone starts dinging from text messages or something you can say, “that’s my friend Mary, she’s one of those people who thinks she needs to send me a selfie or a picture of everything she’s doing. I’m much more in tune with enjoying the moment you’re in and not takings pictures and sending them to people! Maybe she’ll grow out if it at some point!” And then laugh it off. Maybe he’ll get the picture! (do you see what I did there? :) )July 17, 2019 at 3:47 pm #757284
This would be a turn off for me too, but as others have said, if he’s otherwise nice, then it’s probably just his way of sharing bits of his life. I think Kaye’s advice was a good one, to bring it up in a very subtle way. From my experience, most men who loves to take an abundance of selfies are either self absorbed, insecure or both.July 17, 2019 at 9:28 pm #757322
Better off single
He wants you to match what he sends…you can be as equally disturbing. You don’t have to send photos of yourself.
Send him a photo of the weirdest looking person at walmart.
A storm drain.
Your reflection in the tv while watching something like nightmare on elm street .
When he asks what’s up with it tell him you thought it was what he wanted.July 18, 2019 at 12:00 am #757338