Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › He said his feelings changed – are we over for good
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 3 years, 10 months ago by
Dan.
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Kate
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months but in that time I was away for a month travelling and obviously lockdown happened in March. Just before lockdown we were great we discussed the future and it was obvious some strong feelings were developing. Lockdown happened and we couldn’t really see each other for a while and I became really upset and insecure about the whole thing. Eventually I could see this pushed him away. He became a little distant and we had many conversations about why he stopped trying. But in this 6 week time frame nothing changed. We had another arguement and he says he’s feelings have changed and he doesn’t see me in his future anymore. We broke up and it was emotional for both of us. I’m hurting but I can see he is hurting too. What really bothers me is that pre lockdown we were both great together. But all he can focus on is all the bad stuff of the last few weeks and says he can’t be in my future because he doesn’t want to hurt me and his feelings changed.
I just don’t understand how he’s feelings have changed to get to this conclusion. We’ve agreed to just give each other space . I know he is sad and missing me too but do you think he really means we have no future together
Tallspicy
Yes. Men are clear in what they say. Something changed and he is no longer invested or making it work. I am so sorry!
mama
“He became a little distant and we had many conversations about why he stopped trying. ”
That sounds awful. I would not want to be with someone who feels the need to have “many conversations” about why I am the one who’s lacking something and/or needs fixing. The constant badgering wears down a person’s heart to the point where it’s easier just to move on.
Give him space, give yourself space. Don’t expect anything. Maybe work on your own insecurities that seemed to rise up during all of this. And next time, accept a person AS THEY ARE, not how you want them to be. Maybe try that with yourself as well. Sorry this didn’t turn out the way you wanted. I hope there are some things you can take away from the experience.
Alice
I’m so sorry you’re hurting, heartbreak is never easy.
I know it’s hard to reason why peoples hearts and minds change when it comes to relationships but sometimes there is no easy answer than the simple fact that he had a change of heart.
Give him his space, don’t contact him and focus on taking care of yourself right now. It will be difficult but try your best to stay busy and let him go.
If a guy says he’s no longer wanting to be together, you have to respect their decision even if you feel he’s making a mistake.
Again, I’m so very sorry you are going through this. Hugs.
Dan
Men need some space every now and then but we sometimes go the wrong way asking for it.give him space to figure himself out and let him reach out first then you can decide the way forward from there.
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