He reached out to me just to say this?

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  albrightgirl17 4 months ago.

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  • #930693 Reply


    Hey all,

    Just wanted some strangers’ opinions because I feel a bit silly thinking about this for longer than I should. Had a thing with a guy months ago, but it ended because it would be long distance as I’m hours away for school. We ended after he called to let me know he got a girlfriend.

    I now have a boyfriend I’ve been dating for about a month and I’m trying to pursue long distance with him. I posted him for the first time on social media and a day later, my old fling texts me asking who it was and when we started dating. I kept my answer really brief and he said “Got it. Okay, nice, happy for you.” That was pretty much the end of the conversation but I can’t help but be in my feelings a little bit.

    I did genuinely like him at one point and it’s been 5 months since we last talked. He hits me up asking about my boyfriend just to tell me he’s happy for me. He’s still with his girlfriend I think, I’m just wondering why he even bothered asking since we were never friends. Pretty much got together off the bat. And that he said he’s happy for me just feels like he never liked me at all. I don’t know haha, do you think a guy would reach out asking about your new relationship just to tell you he’s happy? Feels like a second punch to the gut.

    And before anyone says, I do like my bf and intend to focus on him completely, this is just a thought that’s been lingering at the back of my mind. I won’t ask him, so I came here.

    #930694 Reply


    He’s trying to establish a ‘true’ friendship?

    #930695 Reply


    He liked you enough to reach out. I’d think either, he felt bad that maybe it could have hurt you when he quickly had a new girlfriend and now feels you’re both taken and he no longer has to feel too guilty to talk to you again. OR it bruised his big ego and he was breadcrumbing and checking in to see where you’re at, maybe in case he ever needs a fallback woman. Reaching out to you about it because he never liked you at all doesn’t make any sense, though. If that was the case, he wouldn’t have bothered.

    #930698 Reply


    I honestly think it’s what Maddie says- the second option.

    As you said, he was long distance, and you weren’t friends before. Wouldn’t make sense for him to want to establish any friendship at this point. I think he got jealous seeing you with another guy.

    #930798 Reply


    Ah well, I just did something I shouldn’t have.

    I’ve been having a lot of issues/arguments with my family and constant back and forths on the phone with my mom, who I do not get along with at all. Had a little too much to drink the other night and called him from my friend’s phone. Honestly, I was tempted to tell him who I was but then I heard his voice and I literally couldn’t get a word out. It was just weird, he didn’t hang up and neither did I until finally my friend took her phone back. I don’t think he knew it was me, but I feel so stupid for doing that.

    Truthfully, I was actually really hurt when he turned around and got a girlfriend even though I knew it was going to happen for one of us sooner or later. I also don’t know why I called him when my boyfriend has been nothing but supportive, even offering to talk to my parents for me. I’ve always been able to compartmentalize pretty well..which is how I let it go and just moved on to focus on my college life.

    Yet here I am. We never really got a chance to be together, but deep down, I still find myself wanting to talk to him when life hits me like a brick. After I hung up, I ended up crying for the first time about this, which is pretty pathetic but yeah. I just need some advice on how to forget this because this should have been over months ago.

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