Guy has been gone a week, what to text?

Thanks. Honestly sometimes you just need to be told “you’re being a psycho” to snap out of an insecurity spell.

You are being super needy and clingy!! Especially this early in the relationship. That’s the kind of thing that makes a guy run for the hills! You said he’s been checking in every day so it’s not like you haven’t heard from him this whole time so what’s your problem?!?

If you’re seeing him 3-4 days a week when he’s home and he was into you before he left then let him miss you! Seriously if he’s on vacation and thinking of you and missing you he may realize he’s falling for you! But if you’re keeping him on a short leash and irritated he’s not calling or texting as much he’s going to get annoyed.

Best thing for you is to get busy and have him wondering what you’re up to because he’s not hearing from you as much!!!

Personally – If I ever started feeling this way in a relationship, it was a good reason and I wasn’t needy or clingy. Something was up. I don’t know how much relationship experience you have, but for me in my final analysis that has been the case. I think he should have at least texted you by now. 3-4 months is not a huge time investment, but it’s not noting. I would not reach out and send any texts at this point, but wait for him to reach out. You are still watching his actions at this juncture, and igf this is not acceptable, you can bounce.

I agree with Alia.

All the time I’ve felt needy and insecure wound up being for a reason, even if rationally there was no reason for me to feel that way. I think it’s instinct.

And if the relationship was right, she would be able to send a text like that and it wouldn’t make a difference. My current partner and I have always been our true selves since day one.

We never had to play games and hide how we felt and we never had to second guess sending a text. I’ve done that in other relationships and none of them ended well. Playing games and hiding your real self may add artificial longevity to a relationship, but it winds up being a waste of time.

That needy and insecure feeling is you second guessing the relationship and whether you’re right for each other. And you have a right to your feelings. Most of the women bashing you and being so rude can’t sustain a relationship to save their lives. They’re the ones men are running from so their advise should be taken with a grain of salt.

The problem with “listening to your instincts” is that we’re all human beings with insecurities– by that I mean past relationship failures, childhood traumas, disappointments, other personal issues. All of us. And many times we confuse own insecurity or anxiety with “instinct”.

I’m not saying there aren’t times when you have to go with your gut feeling about a guy or a relationship. I’m saying that there are times when we filter a guy’s actions through the lens of our own hangups or insecurities, and it doesn’t always present us an accurate picture of reality. That’s when we need to take a step back and evaluate whether we are truly seeing a red flag, or whether we’re reacting to one of our own personal anxieties/issues that may be clouding our judgement.

I like T from NY’s advice (as usual!) Live your life. Don’t overthink it. See what he does when he gets back from his trip. Things will become clear then- ideally he will reach out and be eager to see you. If he isn’t, then you know to take a step back.

OMG its no wonder so many ladies are single today! You want to treat men like they are children who should NEVER have any fun or enjoy a vacation without their GF/SO all up their arse!

Thankfully I never felt the need to keep men on a leash. I give them enough freedom and independence to hang themselves with it and interestingly enough they never cheated on me. My ex husband traveled the world (was in the military) where we went weeks without speaking (pre internet & cell phones) but he was the insecure one in that he was afraid someone guy would steal me away while he was gone! Its not fun being with an insecure partner whereas it got to the point where I told him “If you don’t trust me to remain faithful to you then there is no us!” I was seriously considering leaving him over it because of it so be careful or he may pull the plug if you can’t get your insecurities under control! Mine eventually did when he knew he I was ready to walk and that he was the one pushing me away, not some imaginary dude in his head. It improved our marriage when he was finally able to let go of his fears and trust that I wasn’t going to cheat nor runaway with some guy when he was gone.

A solid relationship is built on love, trust and respect that the couple earns through time—without all three components a relationship won’t survive. This is a necessary test for the two of you where if you can’t trust him then you might as well break up with him now because your lack of trust and respect for him is what will drive him away. Let him enjoy his vacation and see how he acts when he gets back, if he goes back to normal then you built some trust, if not, then it wasn’t going to last anyway.