Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › Going home for break, do i reach out?
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 3 years, 5 months ago by
Elvira.
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Tina
Hi,
So my ex and I broke up 5 weeks ago, he dumped me out of no where. That week he had invited me over more than ever and gave me gifts and talked about the future (we are seniors in college) we dated for over 10 months and were serious and met families and everything. He was really stressed and suffers from anxiety, and in general his life, school, and debt wise was wearing on him. out of no where he just said i didn’t deserve this relationship and he didnt deserve me and couldnt prioritize me even though he loved me. He was a really great boyfriend and I went NC for a month to give him the space and then he reached out and we met up and he apologized for everything and talked about how therapy was going. But said he still didnt know what was going on in his head. I left to go home to a different state, but I still have some things he sent to me over quarantine, and I want to send them to him. I miss him a lot and I want to support him through this but it has to come from him. should I write a letter? or reach out? we are going to be gone until late January and I dont want it to be too late
Tallspicy
No. You assume he is an adult and can reach out if he wants to speak to you. You want to support him? Noble goal for a friend or an actual partner. He is neither. You will not be rewarded by supporting him, you will be traded in.
Too late? Honey, you need to realize this is over. Over. Over. He broke up with you and then reached out and said…. still over.
Heal yourself and move on!
Elvira
Hi Tina
So sorry you are going through this. Breakups are always hard especially when it is unexpected and you feel like everything was going great. You are both young and despite what others may think College can be stressful. I suffer from anxiety as well…everything worries me and it is very difficult to control that anxiety because you feel like everything is out of your control.
The fact your breakup was recent your emotions are high and it may be that way for some time. Doing NC for a month was great but you should probably do it for longer since you still have very strong feelings for him. He is struggling with his own issues and nothing you say or do will “fix” that. He needs to find his own way and own solutions. The best thing you can do is move on with your life as if everything is ok and it will be. The pain will pass and you will realize that being with someone who is unsure of his feelings is not what you deserve. You are young and meeting other guys (not to get over him) but to meet others who are secure and confident will show you that this is the type of person you deserve. Maybe one day you and him can be friends but that day is not now it is too soon. If you get over the holidays with no contact by January you will feel better. You sound like a really good person any guy would be lucky to have you!tina
Thank you, i just really know hes a good guy whos going through a lot right now. I do have to send him his things back which sucks.. our lives are just very on top of eachother and we share all the same friends and are in the same major and I just really want things to work out.. I dont want to fix him or push him but i do really value him and its hard to let go
Tallspicy
Of course it is! Be kind to you!
Elvira
Hi Tina
Don’t worry about his things now, you can do that later. Put them in a box out of sight. Just focus on yourself. -
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