Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › Going crazy over my guy best friend
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Mary.
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Mochi
My mind has been stirred up crazy by my guy best friend of over 10 years. We have our own lives, living in separate places.
Yesterday, we met up. We only get to see each other a few times a year. (He’s got ADHD and struggles to text back/communicate). It’s always been just the two of us, no groups.
We went out to a pub, then went to his and watched loads of anime.We often hug, and yesterday as he was putting his shoe laces on by the staircase to drive me back home, i opened my arms to hug him.
He hugged me tightly, then laid down on the staircase bringing me on top of him. We stayed like that for a while, so a long hug/embrace.
He them drove me back and gave me another long hug, saying i love you so much. I say it straight back because we do care deeply about each other.
-The problem is that the days after seeing him, I’m left with a feeling of missing him like crazy, and having thoughts like; I wish the hugs lasted forever. I want all of him. I want to be closer.
Today, I considered calling him just to hear his voice. And maybe tell him the above- but i didn’t. Plus i am terrified of losing him. I’ve been feeling tearful too. Chest physically tight.I don’t know why, but my mind is confident that if we stared at each other long enough, we’d probably kiss. (it’s probably delusional). Like there’s something unsaid.
As I said, he struggles to stay in touch and I considering it a miracle and a blessing that he’s still even in my life. I made sure to let him know how much he means to me ever since when we were young.
I just don’t know what the right thing to do is. Another thing is, years ago he said he was bisexual but prefers men? He’s not had any actual partners since school days though.AngieBaby
Straight up? You’re in love with the idea of him, not actually him. He’s just a fine suit of clothing you’ve made up to idolize. This is a fantasy that will never become reality.
If he had any romantic interest in you, he would have told you or acted on it by now, almost guaranteed. And he “struggles to communicate” because of ADHD? Lots of people with ADHD are in relationships and they are able to communicate. This sounds like an excuse you’re making for him.
You only see each other a few times a year. You’re part time friends only. You’re like a warm bath or a security blanket for him.
Also… he’s bisexual but prefers men? There’s your explanation why he’s not made any moves.
This guy is NOT AVAILABLE to you.
Sounds to me like he really values your friendship and doesn’t want to screw that up.
Also sounds like you’re not going to get over this on your own. Your only option is to suck it up and ask him directly how he feels about you and that you’ve thought about him in more than a friendly way and ask if he’s ever had those thoughts about you. Be prepared to be let down gently. This is a bubble you need to burst so you can stop obsessing over him and be available for other men who would actually want you.
Tammy
All i can say based on my past experiences is that if a guy wants more when he hugs you, he will def not stop at just a hug and will go in for more especially when he feels the woman may be fine with more.
Mochi
Thanks everyone- Yes, I definitely see how I probably have a bubble that needs bursting.. And you’re right, it’s still lovely that he does care a lot. He has a lot going on in life and i will forever be grateful for him giving me the time he does give.
Yeah that makes sense about him not making any moves or anything after hugs!
Much thanks for giving me clarity of mind.Mary
Angiebaby has perfect insight and advice.
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