does he sound desperate

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Brooke 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

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  • #922161 Reply


    so i told a guy that I don’t want to make plans to meet as he is always busy. we had met on a dating app. then he said that we have only tried 2-3 times, we will try again as he genuinely want to meet.

    went ahead and shared that I don’t think I am in the headspace to meet anyone new. he said but we have been planning to meet since, why suddenly you feel this way. I said it has been going on in my mind for a while, I shared it today. He was like I would love to understand this headspace of yours, genuinely wanna meet. I felt it was cute but umm just wanna be sure that this isn’t a red flag that he is way too desperate or a little stalkerish in nature?

    #922184 Reply

    T from NY

    Gurl. If it has been this hard to even attempt the first meet up with this dude – can you imagine further trying to get to know him? Being in a relationship of any sort with him?

    Men ain’t magic! They don’t mysteriously turn into an amazing person or date or partner after showing you they are lazy and uninterested. Trust your gut – it’s there for a reason. Any guy you had to say ‘see ya you’re too busy’ is JUST THAT. Not for you.

    #922190 Reply


    No, I don’t think it is stalkerish or a red flag. If you are not in the headspace to meet someone then get off the dating site. Seriously, you are wasting his time. It sounds like you’ve tried to meet and it hasn’t worked out for whatever reason whether on his or your end. Don’t keep him e-tethered or on the hook when he is genuinely looking for a connection with someone in real life if you aren’t willing to meet in real life.

    #922191 Reply


    Also what T said especially if it’s on him that he has been too busy. My response was based off your last paragraph where you said you were not in the headspace to meet anyone new.

    #922211 Reply


    While not stalkerish or a “red flag,” that’s kind of pushy and disrespectful to me. He doesn’t care about your headspace, he doesn’t want to lose an option so he wants to convince you to still meet — even though he’s the one who hadn’t made the time. If he cared about what you said he’d say okay and back off since he doesn’t know you at all, you haven’t even met yet. It’s all on his terms already. This won’t be a good match.

    #922570 Reply


    Well it would be a different story if you denied him the meet up and he makes no effort to pursue you still wouldn’t it? I mean we all like someone a lot more when they try hard.

    All the given opinions above sounds like good advice. I mean you were turned off because he was the “too busy” guy. The hell is he doing on a dating app if he’s that busy anyway?

    I guess if you find that he is worth meeting up with inspite of the little turn off, give him another chance. But make sure you tell him why you changed your mind at first to not meet.

    And if the headspace you’re referring to has nothing to do with feeling turned off by this specific guy then really why are you on the dating app?

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