Did I just get played?

Home Forums Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals Did I just get played?

This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Tallspicy 2 months ago.

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  • #788558 Reply


    Hi everyone, I was recently seeing this guy I met at work who I had a bad feeling about but I let his words manipulate me. It started out as just a hookup, but, he began initiating contact more and wanting to get to know me. Before this whole social distancing started, he was actually taking me out at normal hours and embracing me in front of other ppl. About 2 weeks into it, we started talking about feelings (initiated by him) and he confessed he was starting to like me. I had no intention of dating him but I genuinely enjoyed his company, and he felt the same. I was just waiting to see where it went.
    The other night, he did the most he’s ever done for me without having to actually take me out. He went to the store before coming to pick me up and he bought me my favorite fruit and ingredients to make my favorite cocktail, took me back to his place, we drank and talked and listened to music as we usually do. He told me how bad he wants to take me on actual dates when everything is over, and told me how much he likes me like 50 times that night.
    The next day, he texted me to check up on me, we talked for a bit and then he ended up not texting me back when the conversation died down. It’s been 3 days and he hasn’t texted me, except for an Instagram DM yesterday.
    This guy is sort of a known player, but he told me he was over that lifestyle. He told me he’s bad at romance but wants to try for me. And I was starting to believe it after everything he did the other night. I’m starting to feel really ridiculous because I was actually falling for him and believing everything he said, but his lack of communication is worrying me.
    I did end up leaving the city we live in together to see my family an hour away without saying anything to him, but this was after he stopped texting me. I think he expected me to reach out because I left my earrings at his place and I usually go there to retrieve them. Anyway, I’m not even available to see him for a few days but as I said, I’m kind of surprised at his lack of communication. Thoughts? Is he pushing me away because he doesn’t want a relationship? I’m confused and upset

    #788568 Reply


    What is communication between the two of you usually like? How long exactly have you been “talking”? If it’s still pretty new, I would say 3 days without communication isn’t really a reason to worry too much. Especially if he was just telling you how much he likes you when you saw him last. That probably made him feel vulnerable and he may be pulling back a little to avoid coming off too strong. Or he may just be busy. The only person who can really tell you is him. When you feel like enough time has passed, reach out to him. Keep it light and casual if at all possible! If it’s a dealbreaker for him to keep constant contact with you each day then have that discussion with him someday soon. Let him know how you feel and if you both care about the relationship you’ll find a way to meet in the middle on it!

    #788570 Reply


    Thank you for the encouragement. We’ve been talking for almost a month now, with very equal communication on both ends. I would say he initiates slightly more, though, as I believe the man should be the one pursuing so I let him take the reigns. But, I realized he really isn’t much of a texter and will only text me to check up on me or make plans. I am used to men texting me way more in the early stages so I’m not sure how to take this. I ended up texting him tonight and I asked if he was free this week, he said “of course, I’ll pick you up?” so that’s good. I do plan on talking to him about where things are going when I see him, because our lack of communication in between dates is odd to me.

    #788577 Reply


    Julia, where do you live that you are having live dates and going an hour away? Stay home. Save lives. You two are being irresponsible.

    And instagram dm counts as texting you.

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