Did He Lose Interest or Am I Overanalyzing


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  • #627013 Reply
    Lane

    OMgosh. If a guy came back with “I’m getting the friend vibe” I would have said well cool, but I really don’t need any more friends so best of luck.” THE END FOREVER

    #627034 Reply
    Lisa

    Lane, I understand your point of view and had he said he’s getting the friend vibe and ended the text there itself, I would surely text what you said. The fact that he’s asking me if he is off base to think this way and if we should talk about it is what makes me think he may need assurance.

    #627035 Reply
    Patti

    Why are you having this discussion over text? Talk to him and get it straightened out. I swear two thirds of the problems on here are because people insist on hiding behind a text message rather than communicating .. no wonder everyone is so confused and upset. They are too busy trying to translate cryptic text messages when the phone actually has the ability to TALK to someone. Why are people so afraid to talk to someone that they supposedly want a relationship with?

    #627036 Reply
    Lisa

    Patti, I agree this communication shouldn’t be over text. That’s why I want to text him saying we should meet to talk about it. I am trying to get advice on the best way to respond to his message from members of this forum.

    #627038 Reply
    Patti

    Call him and ask to plan a meet up!!! Jesus Christ! What is wrong with people. ??

    #627040 Reply
    Carla

    Yea I would just call him. If you don’t want to call directly, say that youre not quite sure what he meant in that text and ask if he’s to talk on the phone. Talking on the phone (or better in person) allows for more clarity and conversation and reduces miscommunication via text. Also you get to hear tone of voice. You won’t mess anything up by asking him to explain what he means.

    #627041 Reply
    Carla

    *he’s free to talk on the phone or if you both can meet in person. All you have to do is leave it at asking for a meeting at this point. Best to be direct and honest.

    #627043 Reply
    Lisa

    Carla, I just messaged him saying I wasn’t sure what he was saying in his text so (like he had suggested in his text) we should meet to talk about it.

    The only way I will know what’s going on is by talking to him. I don’t want to assume anything or wonder and drive myself crazy with “what ifs”, etc so now the ball is in his court to respond to us meeting. If he doesn’t meet me, at least it’s clear he is not interested and if he meets me, either way, I will get clarity.

    #627045 Reply
    Carla

    I agree, good luck!! Please keep us posted!

    #627046 Reply
    Patti

    So instead of waiting you could have called, spoken with hour on the phone and had resolution …. instead you text and keep dragging it along.. women just create their own drama.

    #627048 Reply
    Lisa

    Patti – it’s not about creating our own drama. I know he works until late and I don’t like disturbing people at work because I too don’t appreciate calls while at work unless they are urgent. Everyone’s situation is different.

    Carla – Thanks! Most people here have been supportive and non-judgmental so I absolutely will keep everyone posted.

    #627170 Reply
    Lisa

    A quick update – we are meeting in a few days to iron out issues. He thought I was friend zoning him. Thanks everyone for all the fabulous advice… it was so helpful.

    #627174 Reply
    Khadija

    Lisa,

    Keep us updated. I’m curious to know how this meeting will go.

    #627179 Reply
    Lisa

    Khadija – Sure I will. This situation, irrespective of which way it goes has been a learning experience for me. I am happy I allowed myself to be vulnerable and let him know I am still interested.

    #629440 Reply
    Lisa

    Here’s the final update on my situation – I met the guy yesterday (good thing by then I was pretty removed emotionally from the situation by then) and within a few minutes of him talking, I realized he’s a wannabe “nice” gentleman but in reality is a douche.

    First he told me I gave him the friend vibe with no explanation. I figured it was because I didn’t make out with him or stay over (he didn’t say that). Then he went on to say how I didn’t reach out to him for a few days (hmm… he could have contacted me as well and as it is I was the one who reached out after our last date so he could have clearly called/texted if he wanted to) so he wasn’t sure of what I wanted. He then went on and on to say how he put in so much effort to meet me yesterday since it was a busy week for him. By then I had heard enough things to turn me off and was done with him so I decided to put him on the spot to get a clear answer… I point blank told him I am looking for a potential serious long term relationship and that we should continue the conversation only if he wants to give this a real chance… he said he is not feeling the chemistry enough to give it a proper chance.

    Bottomline, all in it came across as though he was trying to transfer all blame on me when in reality he didn’t have the courage to say he wasn’t feeling it after our last date.

    My gut says this one is a narcissistic male and in hindsight, I am thankful it’s done with.

    #629482 Reply
    Carla

    Thanks for updating us-I’m sorry things didn’t work out, but I’m glad you found out now! I wish you the very best!

    #629487 Reply
    Polie

    Good riddance.

    #629489 Reply
    Lisa

    Thanks Carla, Polie and everyone who gave me great advice during this time. This forum has been wonderful and has given me a lot of perspective. Thank you!

    #629490 Reply
    Shannon

    I’m sorry things didn’t work out. There are some men out there who can’t take responsibility and have to project things.

    #629491 Reply
    Selene

    I think he meet someone else and felt bad and needed to find a way out. But he could have just said so. Weird. At least you got closure and you can move on.

    #629522 Reply
    Amanda

    Nice job – SO many women would be saved heartache if they asked what you asked on the first date (or first 3 dates at the latest). That question is perfect because it does not scare away men who do want a reltionship but always scares away men that are going to waste your time.

Viewing 21 posts - 51 through 71 (of 71 total)
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