Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Can someone realize they love you after they leave?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by
Beth.
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Samantha
My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago. It’s been tough but moving forward. We have been no contact since then although our breakup was good and I wished him happiness. Our relationship was not long – dating 5 months but it was genuine and special. He ended it cause he was not ready for a relationship and had diminished feelings. He did not feel like he had feelings for me anymore. This was tough for me as I thought he was in love with me. We never exchanged those words, although I did tell him I loved him when things ended. He once told me that he loved me at like 2-3am but I was pretty much sleeping but I know he said it as I was unsure how to address it the next day. He was very stressed with work and other life stuff when he decided to end things with me.
I just keep wondering if his feelings might come back someday or if people realize they love someone when they are gone? Is that something that can happen with some people? I will move forward regardless, I’m just wondering.
redcurleysue
Yes, a person can realize love after a breakup. But, I would not hold my breath…it is rare.
Ashley
It happened to me 3 times but took 2 years for them to tell me. I would not wait for it or hope for it, get out there & date others
Been there done that
For my ex… it took him 3 months and I was already with someone great. They always realize when either you have moved on or you no longer have feelings for them. It is kind of like they get to know that you aren’t needy anymore. Why would you want to be with such a person who said to you that he has lost his feelings for you. You aren’t a piece of meat that has been sitting outside for too long and hence you don’t feel like eating. Get some self respect and move on. How do you know when he comes back he wouldn’t lose those feelings again later on?
It is hard to do but everyone has gone though it and you can do it too.
LG
Yes.
People break up and get back together all the time. Due to the one who breaks up realizing they really do care for the person and sometimes a break is needed just so they realize it.
However, in some cases time has passed and the person who was left moves on.
I know a break up is hard…the best thing to do is take some time to heal. Try not to focus on the good times. We all experience good times with someone who one day can also hurt us focus on the now.
If a person leaves it is because they are unavailable in one way or another. It is not your job to decipher or fix them. It is your job to stay true to yourself and what you deserve.
I say this because I know you posted about the breakup in another post. We all experience heartache but the good thing is you can/will move beyond it.
Shannon
Yes, it can happen. Like another poster said, it’s rare. But of course, finding true love is rare too.
I know of several married couples that had a significant breakup. The best story I have is of a former coworker. He moved about two hours away and they tried to keep the relationship going but it soon fizzled. One year after they broke up he showed up at her house out of the blue and told her he loved her. She said it was like in the movies, they started kissing and everything. He told her that he thought it would go two ways…she’d either throw him out, or be ecstatic, but he had to know. They’ve been married for nine years now and have two kids.
My best friend’s brother broke up with his now wife for six months when they were dating as well. I don’t think spending some time apart is all that uncommon…particularly if a guy is younger (twenties) he may need some time to explore what else the world has to offer in terms of companionship to truly appreciate someone.
You can’t predict whether or not someone will come back, though. You could be pining for someone for years who is gone and that is it, wasting all that time. So you need to cry your tears, heal, get back out there, and just have faith that things will work out the way they should…whether that means your ex coming back or finding someone better suited to you.
Tannesha Garth
Me and my boyfriend have been together off and on 7 yrs we been living together 3 months we sleep same bed.now he wants to tell me we are not together that if I’m not happy I could leave.but when we talk and I say I’m going to see other people he say well go ahead and if you do we can no longer be around each other.he asked to see a counselor but I’m like they are for people working on a relationship. I feel I just should move out because as long as we are still having sex he doesn’t care but on the outside he makes it clear that we are not together. I’ve never cheated but I did get his phone and found out he was sex texting alot of his ex’s. He says he loves me all the time but I just think he is a true manipulator and only using me
Beth
It’s possible. I am going through the same thing. He broke up with me a couple of months ago. Shredded my heart. I know I pushed him away with my own insecurities. It was pretty brutal at first. A couple of weeks ago we started talking again. Then his flirty texts came. I started dating again. I sent him a text that let him know I am still into him. It opened the floodgates. He told me in front of his non English speaking co-worker he loved me. Those words slipped out. I don’t think he meant to verbalize out loud. I heard it but said nothing. Next thing I know he is planning a weekend away, just the two of us. This is something he never did before. Saturday he had me over to his place (another first) took me out to dinner and I watched me across from me. His eyes said it all. We had an amazing night together. I realize with him I need to give him the space he needs. He was frustrated Monday and called me as said we both need to quit our jobs and pack up is 5th wheel and travel the country together. It’s comments like that which tell me he sees a future with me in it. I don’t know where we are headed but I am willing to find out.
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