Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Broke up with a narcissist
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 6 months ago by
Kandy Kane.
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Jenny
Ok, after 15 months I finally broke up with my narcissist boyfriend. I was pretty sure he was unfaithful and I was tired of being devalued and torn apart. I’m grappling with repairing after the damage. Does anyone have any advice how to get through this? I have a therapist but I feel sort of lost and damaged. I’m ashamed I let it go on this long. He let me go quietly so I’m pretty sure he had a new supply for a while. I’m turning 45 next week and I ignored the signs and now I’m just reeling. If anyone has any advice, please let me know.
Ewa
Lots of advice on the Internet. I am going through the same thing at the moment. I think best thing to do is to realise that you haven’t lost anything? But instead you have gained freedom and time to build your self confidence. You had no future with this man as he is not capable of loving and will always cheat. Remember he abused you, used you , lied to you. Your relationship was a lie , to serve him and his needs. You were an object to him not an actual human being.
Claws
Biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is that “it’s rarely about me”. With that, I even feel sorry for someone who hurts me.
I will promise you two things:
1. It will get better, with time
2. He will come back once his supply is low. Be stronger for that as he could know your weaknesses and have you in the same cycle. No matter how much a narcissist hurt them in the past, I’ve seen women get back with them. That’s why you must heal now for that time.
Best of luck.Jenny
I wrote some really spiteful texts as he has never acknowledged any of the things I’ve said. I guess I was looking for closure. But I know he will make the case I’m a crazy bitch. Nothing threatening but my truths. I regret doing this. I feel ashamed and I feel stupid.
Jenny
I guess I have to tell myself lesson learned. He has a new supply. At the time it felt good to say things like you never got over your ex wife, you are a narcissist. But now, I’m very disappointed in myself.
Kandy Kane
Don’t beat yourself up over the texts. I’m guessing he has said worse to you. Honestly, I don’t feel you did anything to lose sleep over, but I understand you are coming at this from the point of having a higher standard for your own actions. Now is the time to close the door on the idea of him and give yourself some credit for caring enough about yourself to dump his sorry a$$.
His opinion does not carry any more importance than yours so don’t concern yourself with what he thinks or says. Concern yourself with knowing your value and living that knowledge through your thoughts and actions. -
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