This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Addy 5 months, 2 weeks ago.
July 26, 2020 at 11:03 am #798005
It’s been a few weeks since me and my ex broke up. Before lockdown everything was great. It seems lockdown really took its toll. We were together almost a year. The break up was emotional. We both cried and then. I struggled to just give up. So it dragged on for about a week of back and forth messaging and then it ended in an argument. He blocked me and said we need space for at least a month and he hopes we can be friends one day. None of us did anything wrong, we just drifted a bit and then he said he didn’t know how he felt anymore. There’s no bad feeling- (well apart from our last arguement) but i just feel so sad that he just gave up rather than try and work things out. It’s like we had so much planned. From experience – after some space will be miss me and maybe want a second shot at things. I know I should just move on and value myself etc etc but neither of us have exactly been at our best through this crazy time. …. do guys ever regret their decision and come back?July 26, 2020 at 12:09 pm #798017
Oh vic…. i have no idea what happened in your relationship, but I feel for you. Here’s my advice that saved me post-breakup. It’s a lot to digest, and all of them are big concepts that take time to work on, but if you do they will improve you for ALL future romantic relationships (because yes, you’re worth it and YES there WILL be fun in the future!:)
OK- so first off you’re asking the wrong question. Don’t focus on him at all or if he’ll come back- My guess is you’re very raw right now, so your ENTIRE focus needs to be self-love, healing yourself, being kind to yourself. Do 30 days (30 whole, consecutive days) of no contact (look up all over the internet how to do it, there’s so many articles). Do it the healthy way of building YOURSELF back up. It was hardest for me for the 1st 4 days but it became easier after that – just stick with it because believe me its amazing for healing YOU. do complete no contact -no social media, no texts, nothing.
next – especially after contact, and for all of your future relationships – don’t ever focus on “what he wants” “how he feels about you” “why did he do XYZ” or whatever. its “how do i feel about HIM?” “how does he make ME feel?” “is he worthy enough to be in my life?” So make it about you – know your worth. (Again, this kind of self-confidence takes time to achieve but it CAN be achieved by anyone who’s willing to do the work).
my other advice to you and all other people reading this – make sure your relationship isn’t/wasn’t abusive. it might have be and you had no idea. at the core of a healthy relationship is RESPECT- the core of a toxic one is power and control. again, google this if you are unsure of the signs. be gentle with yourself.
drink lots of water, prioritize sleep, eat all of your favorite foods as well as healthy foods, limit alcohol if you can, try and go for walks or some exercise you like, lean on your support system (provided they are not frenemies or toxic).
good luck! you got this!
xoxo addyJuly 26, 2020 at 7:16 pm #798071
Spot on addisonJuly 26, 2020 at 9:00 pm #798077
Thanks so much, Newbie! If only we could all help each other instead of hate. Good luck on your own journey xoxoJuly 26, 2020 at 11:46 pm #798097
Hey Vic, I’m in a similar situation to you as well. I’m with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, in fact, next week is our 2 years anniversary. I feel that my boyfriend is drifting away from me, i can feel the distant. I don’t know why he is feeling it this way. I suspect he may be having some feelings for another girl which I have seen him texting this girl on a few occasions now.And sometimes i find him a little secretive with his mobile (or i can be oversensitive herte) I’m planning to talk to him this week and see where the conversations will lead to. If he has stopped investing and he has feelings for someone else then there is no point with me continue on with this relationship as it is a one way street now. I feel your pain and what Addison said above is right and also time will heal. Keep yourself busy and I know it’s hard to keep yourself busy during lockdown. WE will be right, just take it day by day. When you find the right man, you will look back at this and think, thank god I broke it up! Sometimes been single is so much better! Take care of yourself! xxSeptember 19, 2020 at 11:32 pm #813695
That was amazing advice! Thank you. Just what I needed