Am I dumb to love him? sex related.

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Sylvia 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #929756 Reply


    Guy make it very clear to girl that it just a “transaction”. If girl agreed, they will have sex. If not then there nothing else to talk about.

    He meet up for sex and brought his own condom.

    He wore a condom from beginning to end, even with a condom on before he climax he still pulled out. He pulled out while with a condom still on, and finishes by his hand and jerk it off into the condom. Leave walked out and took the condom with him and throw in the trash outside the parking lot.
    To him it was purely physical, he never care about that girl. And a one time transaction only, if he wants sex again he will find a different girl.

    And he did, second girl, it was just another ‘transaction’, no different than above.

    And 2 more other girls.

    Fast forward, years later he ended up got married (shocking right? didn’t think he was capable of love girl).

    Why married? He said with his wife it beyond the physical, it because he “deeply emotionally attached” to his wife therefore he married her. It something he feels for her that he never feel for those transaction girls or any girl girls before. And even if they going through dry spells or even if one day sexless, he still loves and stay with his wife, because he still deeply emotionally attached to her.

    So basically I’m very dumb to love him right?

    #929757 Reply


    He didnt like you enough thats it. And when he found his wife he knew he wanted to marry her and he did. You agreed to this anyways

    #929758 Reply


    Why did you agree to this…

    #929760 Reply


    Why do you even have questions about this?

    It’s completely normal for HIM. He had sex with girls he physically liked and he took extra precautions not to impregnate anyone until he married the one he emotionally bonds with.

    As for you, what part made you fall in love? Because he was honest about just having sex as he did with the others and nothing more. I guess we can’t help who or why we fall for someone but in this case I do not blame the guy. He didn’t misled anyone.

    And yes, very dumb to fall for him.

    #929763 Reply


    I wouldn’t call it dumb, but I would call it deeply insecure. When a man lays out that he is emotionally unavailable to you but you go along anyway, seeing the potential and hoping you can change his mind, it is actually your choice (even if it doesn’t feel like it on the surface) because you don’t believe you deserve more. I used to believe you couldn’t choose who you fall in love with when I was letting my fears and insecurities steer my dating life. With more life experience, I’ve learned that’s actually not true. You are making the decision to stay attached to someone whether you own it or not. You still choose who you spend time with and engage in interacting with and deepening a connection. It’s usually not a good investment to do that with someone who has stated they want something different than you do.

    The good news is, because it’s your decision, you can make the decision to explore your insecurities (and to move on as well), if you so choose. Sticking around for him even though he treated you this way is a symptom, not the cause, of whatever would keep you feeling stuck in a situation that so blatantly doesn’t meet your needs. It hurts, but learning from this and seriously asking yourself why you would tolerate this and if you have relationships patterns like this will help you choose differently in the future instead of getting stuck in the same with the next guy and the next.

    Hang in there, it hurts but will get better if you keep him cut off and blocked from your view. It sounds like you’ve been keeping tabs on him over time, but there’s no need to do that because it just gives you more painful information and keeps you a bit stuck.

    #929765 Reply


    You aren’t “in love” with a man you had sex with once. You’ve made up a fantasy man and you are infatuated with that.

    I”m guessing there’s a lot more to this story than you’re telling.

    Don’t let a man treat you like a call girl. You agree to a deal this pathetic and one-sided with any man and it’s instant no respect, ever.

    I”m sorry to see anyone with self esteem this low. I hope you will work on that and not allow yourself to be so blatantly used for NSA sex again.

    #929777 Reply


    So, I was involved with a married man. He pursued me and in the beginning it was so fun. He was so attentive, text me every morning before I was even awake. Text me all throughout the day everyday. Call me on his way home, come and see me at least twice a week. After about a month and half, we spent the whole day together and ended up having sex. After that day, the texts dwindled to maybe once a day, then every other day, then once every three days. Then, it was a long time before he came back over to see me. Then it would be once a week texts, then 2 weeks, then 3 weeks. He’s never gone a full 4 weeks without texting me. But, during those times where he “ghosts” me, I try my hardest to get over him. I go through the emotions of sad, depressed, angry then at about week 3 I feel like I’m starting to get over him. The, bam… out of the blue he’ll call me up or text me telling me he misses me and all this stuff. Say he wants to see me, then nothing. Then, maybe a week or so later, he’ll text me and say he’d like to see me and then we’ll see each other and of course end up having sex. I know that I need to let him go and this is so hard. I know it’s wrong in the first place because he is married, but he pursued me hard. I fell for him, then, it’s kind of like he’s a high school boy trying to get in a girls pants, then once he does, he’s done and dont talk to her anymore. Really I feel like it’s like a feather in his cap or something. We’re both 47 years old here. My husband passed a year ago and i was in a very abusive relationship. I was mentally and physically abused. When I started seeing this guy it was so nice, so different from what I’d been through with my husband. I loved the attention this guy gave me and loved how he was so into me. Now, after I’ve fallen for him I sit depressed all the time wondering when I’m going to hear from him again and see him again. I dont text him or chase him I’ve always let him do that. I mean if he texts me I would always respond, but I’ve always tried to not be the first one to text. Even if that means I’m looking at my phone daily and go 3 weeks without hearing from him. I try real hard not to text him up and say “hey havent heard from you in a while”. I’ve done that but only a few times. I make myself not text him and just wait for him to text me. And to be honest I dont want to be the first one reaching out. I would like to know he’s still interested in me so I just wait for him to text me first. This all sounds so childish and high schoolish. I know. I want to give this up and let go of him. I want to stop hoping for him to text and call and want to see me. I want to get over him. But every single time I try to do that after him not texting me for 3 or so weeks, I’ll try hard to get over him. Then, he’ll text me. Then, it’s all over again. This cycle starts all over again. I havent met anyone else. I dont know anyone else. I’m not a person that is going to go to a bar and try to meet someone. But, I do believe that because I haven’t met anyone thats why i cant get over this guy. It’s almost like I’m desperate to take what crumbs he throws out because I dont have anyone else in my life right now. This is so miserable.

    #929783 Reply


    @Michelle, please make your own post.

    #929825 Reply


    Oh what a mess. But mess you created. Look for what makes you tick and why you “love” him. You didn’t even know him that much.
    You’re not dumb. You’re not hurting no one but yourself. I now prefer to numb my pain not cause it..

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