10 year relationship. 2 kids. No proposal and he’s cheating

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Franny 1 week, 4 days ago.

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  • #819616 Reply


    My boyfriend and i have been together for 10 years. Since we were in highschool.
    Let me start off by saying this is not the best or a perfect relationship at all. Before i get started on how i find out he was cheating I’ll go in detail about us. I’ve been living with my boyfriend and his parents since i was 16 they moved out but we are still in his parents house. My boyfriend went to jail for 3 years and while he was in jail i stayed faithful until he got out. Fast forward. We have a daughter together and I’m currently pregnant. When my boyfriend and i argue I’m not going to lie but sometimes i do get verbally and physically abusive I’ve always been like that i do have anger issues. Not only that any time he gets in drama i step in and he know i will get aggressive. There has been numerous times I’ve fought other females and he’s been right there.

    How i found out he was cheating:
    My boyfriend races every Saturday. And every Saturday i go to race with him and my daughter to watch him. We were getting ready to leave to go to his normal race like we do every Saturday and i had his phone and it *dings* i look down and it’s a woman on Facebook messenger and she sent him a message saying “i miss you already with a kiss attached “

    So i immediately get out raged. And ask him who was it and he tried to play stupid. he tried to grab his phone and i snatched it locked myself in the room and open the message and tried to unlock his phone. Once i unlocked it i read through my boyfriend and this woman’s message and i saw that for two years my boyfriend has been messaging this woman. He’s been commenting on her pictures, calling her beautiful, asking her could he get to know her etc. from the messages she was ignoring him until this August. He messaged her and said “i want to get to know you honestly” and this time she actually replied back giving him her number. My boyfriend has been up this woman’s ass through his messages since August. From August up until recently the messages from him were like this: “why you flake on me ?You don’t want to be loved”
    “I wanna see if you care about me?”
    “Why aren’t you responding back?”
    “You’re so beautiful”
    “Drop all your other guys for me”
    “I wanna kiss from you again”
    From the texts they met up and had sex because he was telling her he wanted her again and he told her he was going to love her correctly
    Like at this point she was more than sex he wanted her to care about him-

    Before i could read anymore i unlocked the door threw the phone at him and added this woman on Facebook. And i started asking him questions that he wasn’t willing to answer so i told him i was going to ask her. She added me back quickly. So I message her on Facebook and say “how long have you and James been seeing each other because he’s playing you so I’m just trying to figure it out” then i message her again saying “you’re not in trouble he is so what has he been telling you?”
    So i could tell she was reading my messages and not responding so i get irritated and i start calling her and she declines the call so i inbox her back and say “you can have him i don’t want him your self esteem is very low and i was about to embarrass you but you’re already embarrassing just look at you. I’ll see you around and when i do it’s on!” As I’m messaging her that my boyfriend is in the back on the phone with her telling her “not to tell me anything because I’m mean and i like to fight and cause drama” then he told her to “please ignore me “

    So i have our daughter and I’m staying at a friends house because I’m too weak right now. I’m thinking about taking our daughter away from him. This wouldn’t be the first time. The last time we broke up

    #819623 Reply


    From what you have written it sounds like you are better off without him, but at the very least it sounds like you two might need to go to counseling so there is a third party who can help you navigate healthy communication. As hard as it is not to be vengeful and spiteful (I’m a single mom myself), if he is a good dad to your daughter, it is not only cruel to him but also to her to keep them apart. This is between the two of you and your daughter still deserves a loving relationship with both her parents if both parents are not abusive or toxic. Finally, I would strongly encourage you to stop contacting this other woman. She had no obligation to you (even though what she did was wrong if she knew he was married), and you should refrain from contacting her or worse her, physically fighting her. This could land you in legal trouble for stalking or assault and you want to be there for your daughter.

    #819634 Reply


    You posted this exact same post before. Get some help. You are both a mess.

    #819635 Reply


    I remember your other post. Ill bumb it for you so i dont need to say the same thing

    #819643 Reply


    the other post is literally still on the front page. stop.

    #819654 Reply


    I only asked her what was going on she chose to not tell
    Me anything and it angered me

    #819664 Reply


    Look if this is your answer after second posting you have a serious slow learning curve and an anger management issue. But from my experience women who are not book smart still can be street smart and know how to care for yourself smart. So far you have shown nothing of wanting to take care of yourself. So youre either incredible stupid and testosteron or: lost! I hope youre lost and have some wits to chose you, adress your anger issues (and being single thats real easy) and learn to love yourself

    #819759 Reply


    You’ve posted this before…
    I think I suggested you finding a therapist, I still think you should find a therapist.

    #819765 Reply


    Please stop. We will only tell you the same thing—you need therapy and you need to get out of this relationship. The fact that we already addressed this exact same post in another thread and you are still choosing to focus on the least important aspects of this situation is incredibly disturbing. Stop this. Get out of this relationship. You are both toxic. You have a child on the way. Get your act together NOW.

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