Sex with and Ex. Now he's ignoring me.

You’re dancing on the string that a narcissist controls. And with all of this going on for so long, and the insane question you just asked, you’re not going to get out of this alone. Seek out a therapist and get help because you are addicted to this guy at some level. No one with any sense of self esteem keeps it going with a narcissist like this for so long. Good luck.

Ignore him back.

I have to be honest, the whole time I am reading his you’re trying to make it sound like he’s victimizing you, but you sound like a willing participant to me. At every step of the way you could have made choices to block this man from your life and move on. It’s a simple matter to block him from your phone, your social media, and simply not to communicate with him.

Honestly, and I don’t mean to be harsh, you sound like the one trying to get in his face and are the one obsessed with him, not the other way around. It sounds like you’re reaching out to him, you’re hanging out with his best friend to talk crap about him (what kind of “friend” does that btw)? dating his friends, etc. Not to be harsh, but you sound like a groupie that won’t let go…you had a two month long fling during which he openly dated other women. You’ve made it out to be more than that in your head. He wasn’t rubbing the other woman in your face by putting her on the album cover, he was simply using his girlfriend as a subject. You are interpreting everything he does to have something to do with you as if his life revolves around you, when to me that does not seem to be the case. He’s a famous musician surrounded by women. He’s not stuck on some woman he had a brief relationship with while he was dating others. Just because he showed an occasional willingness to use you for sex, like he would any other groupie, does not mean you’re special or that he has a lingering thing for you.

I also see no evidence that he is a narcissist. Nothing that you related sounds abusive. It sounds like all the attempts to maintain a connection are on your end. It seems very unlikely that a busy musician who just had a successful album, has women throwing themselves at him, would be obsessing about a woman he dated for a couple of weeks over a year ago. But it does seem like you’re the one holding on and putting yourself conveniently in his path and he may be reacting to that a bit.

I know I disagree with much of the ladies here. But that’s how I see it…he’s not hanging out with your best friend discussing you, texting you, and dating your friends. YOU’RE doing all of that.

I see absolutely no evidence that he is a narcissist and actually, the fact that he’s a successful famous musician actually belies that.

Narcissists usually sit around talking about how terrific and talented they are but rarely engage in the work to achieve that kind of success and then are jealous of people who do.

I’m seeing that the OP has an unhealthy attachment to a man who is not returning her feelings. That does not make the man a narcissist. He sounds like a typical famous person surrounded by women who has tons of options, the sort of guy I would give a pass to simply because I don’t want to constantly be vying with other women for his attention. The majority of actors and actresses, rock stars, etc (with some exceptions, such as Tom Hanks) have a hard time maintaining serious relationships for a variety or reasons, and one of them is that they have so many attractive people interested in them that the temptation is constant and hard to resist. That does not make them narcissists, that just makes them a bad bet for a relationship.

I have a similar emotional attachment. Not sure if he is a narcissist, tho. I knew this man growing up, but had not seen in many, many years. We reacquainted online, as friends only, for over a year. When we finally met, he manipulated me into having sex (although I am an adult and did consent). The Sex was very disappointing, after initially being excited, he essentially brought an empty emotional, passionless experience. Spent the night in a cheap motel that I paid for. . Duhhhh. . Am I an idiot, or what?!?!? He left the next morning, with a quick peck, and an “I will talk to you later “. Wel, he never did, so I reached out to him several times, and most texts he ignored, and gave the busy excuse for not talking to me. This all took place over the last two months. But I fell in love with him the first time I talked to him. The Sex ,though disappointing, clinched it emotionally for me. Now I can’t let go, and despite unsuccessfully, trying to go no contact, there’s not a time I don’t want to reach out to him. And keep waiting for some contact from him. First, why did he dump me after Sex (I would like to continue the friendship we had) and second, why can’t I accept this, let go and move on???

You need to be stronger and cut ties with him AND HIS FRIENDS!! You didn’t see him for a year and you’re fine without him! Yes you missed him and stuff but you were moving on. Now you have to restart because you saw him again. Yes it’s hard but it doesn’t mean you can’t do it. If you stay, you’re his puppet. If you’re ok with that then you must tolerate the pain and his craziness. You’re asking what’s in his head, himself…that’s it. Just cut him off. BLOCK HIS EVERYTHING INCLUDING HIS FRIENDS! Prevent him from contacting you, avoid him! If your friends are listening to his music, leave the room. Block yourself from social media until you’re healed. Good luck!

“I’m not upset, I feel as sense of relief. I just want to know what’s going through his head.” – sense of relief? you feel victorious because now he cheated on his GF with you?

what’s going on in his head – only he knows that. it should not matter to you. One thing I can tell you the less attention you pay to him the more you’d hear from him, as this is what you want.

He is used to groupies, he is used to you being a doormat, stop being a doormat and you’d get more unknown calls. You might even get another invitation for a hookup. May I make a suggestion? Agree to it and don’t show up. And block his number.

Then you need to ask youself if this is the “love” that you want for yourself.

Sience is the most powerful weapon. If he really is a narcissist you need to treat him with silence. However, you are the one that appears to be obsessed with him and I think you need to deal with this, until then all these pseudo relationships you start will only be revenge and you will not be open to anyone else. You should think about taking care of yourself and work through this, why you got into it, continued it and cannot let it go. You should not be concerned with him at all, obviously the guy does not really care about you or else he would not have just had sex with you once in the past year. He does not want you back. All you can change is your attitude, your inner self, you cannot change him or make him feel for you. I can tell you now that this will not go anywhere with this guy. If you want to get better, feel happy in the future, it is high time to start working on you and healing, there is an entire world of possibilities open to you which you fail to notice. I understand your feelings, been there but not wanting to let go will only prolong your suffering.

You say you are not upset and feel a sense of relief that he is ignoring you. You want to know what is going on in his head. Why does it matter? Block him and get on with your life.