If he cheated on his Ex, will he cheat on me?

In general i believe that people are not inclined to cheat as long as they are happy in the relationship. Even if they cheated in the past in another relationship. If the relationship fails, men are more inclined to stay in the relationship and cheat and women are more inclined to leave.
If you two are on good terms, i think you should talk about this. About your own past. I think i would tell him that you feel you are in a healthy relationship but you would like to know more about what drove him to the affair and what caused it, so you can prevent that from happening in your relationship. Something like that

**Walked away

on a positive side im just thinking that at least he is showing he wants to be completely honest with you, and maybe that means he genuinely sees the relationship you have is the best he’s ever had and doesnt want to have it ruined by the past unexpectedly biting the future in some way. by getting it all out in the open at least its footing for a clean slate to be out with the old ways and now grown up and ready for an actual normal happy future? i believe because you have had your past experiences you know too well about being abruptly dissapointed and its always probably wise to trust with at least half an eye open at minimum, but if you let this relationship be ruined by anxiety from the past – your letting that mongrel ex ruin your future as well as your past – i wouldnt give him the satisfaction of any further effect on your life. im assuming youve told your new man about your ex’s cheating and now that he has confessed to similar behaviour their will need to be some major support in allowing for you to be wary of being hurt again and will need lots of help to keep your trust that he is no longer needing to behave that way. its a hard one – but to give you a food for thought story – i know of someone who’s best friend met a man that was in a horrendous marriage – so technically an affair occurred and the married man did after some time leave to be with the friend and they are happily togethor still to this day after about 11 years with two children togethor. im not condoning affairs but the story is one example to answer your question do guys continue to cheat once theyve cheated bfor- well in this instance no – and ive quite often attended parties with this couple and they are so lovely you would not picture that they met under those circumstances.

I see this as..

He trusts you, so he has let you know, opened up to you etc, don’t see it as something to be frightened of or un-trusting of. Also don’t let it play on your mind, take it for what it is.

They say a leopard never changes its spots, but I disbelieve that.

They will cheat if they are unhappy with you for whatever reason, so keep him happy and he won’t.

At the end of the day anyone could cheat on you whether they’ve cheated in the past before or not, it’s down to the two of you and your relationship together, not statistics.
Don’t let this make you crazy and question stuff either, because likelihood is, he won’t open up again.

What a tough situation!

I do not personally believe once a cheater, always a cheater, however circumstances very wildly. Your boyfriend had a full fledged affair with another women, this wasn’t a one moment of weakness while drunk type situation.

That being said, I do know one thing for sure,
When a man shares his secrets with you, if you want him to trust you and keep opening up to you, you must accept them without judgement. If you choose to continue and you use what he’s told you against him, he will resent you for it.

First have a very thorough conversation with him, tell him your story as well if you haven’t already, that your ex-husband cheated on you. I know for the most part the past needs to be in the past, but this situation is delicate. Learn about exactly WHY he cheated, what drove him to do so and why he chose to continue the affair, rather than leave the relationship.

After hearing out everything he has to say, then it will be up to you to choose if you want to risk it.

If you stay with him, you’ll need to trust that he won’t cheat on you. Don’t treat him as guilty before any crime has been committed, don’t snoop through his stuff or ask him constantly about his whereabouts. If you don’t feel you can bring yourself to trust him, it’s not a good idea to stay. It will be a hard road and make sure you give him plenty of time and know him really well (at least two years), see how he acts when things get tough, before you make any legal commitments.

If he does end up cheating, despite you putting your trust in him, walk away and never look back.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck.

I think it really REALLY depends on so many things. I cheated on my ex husband and left him for another man– 13 years ago. Can I envision myself EVER doing such a thing now– no— because I have changed as a person, and the underlying reasons WHY I cheated have changed (ie. in my case I had never been alone and was deeply unhappy in my marriage but scared to be alone so actively looking for a new partner while still married). Now, I would get out of the unhappy relationship before starting a new one. I am a stronger, more whole, happier person who isn’t afraid to be alone.

I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater, but I would question whether you think the reasons he behaved in that way have been addressed. Does he appear to be remorseful about it– does he talk about why he did and how he’d never do it again. I know for a fact I would never do it again as it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life, I feel terrible about it to this day, and it deeply hurt me.

Yeah, somehow I missed that part. I agree with Shannon– that is very disturbing and very different than just being in a bad marriage, meeting someone you have a connection with, and being weak and not resisting falling for someone else. Or being so sex starved that you seek out a one night stand even. The fact that he lied about being married to this other women is really scary to me– and a sign that his issues run pretty deep.

FYI The original post is almost a year old.

I support a poster saying people cheat for more reasons than being unhappy.
The thing stood out to me was that your guy was doing online stuff? That’s a behavior of someone who is regularly ok with and does enjoy a lot of sex outside of relationship.

Don’t just think of it in terms that he cheated. He didn’t value the vows he made to his wife. That is what is important. He can break his vows in other ways, not just cheating. If you are OK with someone that broke their marriage vows then proceed with caution.

My husband lied when we first met that

Jackie, are you using condoms with your HB? “Many” one night stands!! Women and men who do that are high risk. Very high risk, I would worry about STDs in your case.

He will continue to cheat, are you okay with closing your eyes on it? And what do you mean by “I don’t like to question him”? You have all rights to do that!!

If you can tolerate infidelity, and some women can, then suggest to him to open your marriage. This way YOU have an opportunity for some romance as well, and there will be no lies.

If you cannot, then divorce is your only option.