Home › Forums › The Community Lounge › How long do i wait before saying, sorry ive made other arrangements
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 9 years, 8 months ago by
ANON.
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ANON
Right, went on a date last week. We got on well, he asked to see me again before date was even finished. He texts most days….dont like that, been there seen it, done it. Anyway he asked on Tuesday if I was free Saturday, I said yes. So he asked if id like to go for food then go to the pictures…i said yes. He then stopped texting as much. Last nite he texted asking what I would like to go and see…we decided on a film and the conversation stopped without arranging time and place. Its now 19.40 on Friday nite and I’ve heard nothing!!! Yet last week he had it planned well before our first date!!!???? How long do I give him to get in touch before I say sorry, thought u weren’t bothered so I’ve made other arrangements? I don’t want to chase him up on it so not initiating contact
Ivy
Personally, I wouldn’t text the guy and I would see if he fulfills the plans. If you text first I think it’s pre-mature and more beneficial for you to see if he is reliable and keeps the plan. He did schedule the date in advance, he did confirm it with you yesterday and hopefully if he’s worth your time he will text you to confirm the time/place by Sat. noon.
If you do not hear from him at all, then do not text him but if he later reaches out to you then post here before responding.
If he texts you Sat. late then state that you were confused on the arrangements since a time/place wasn’t confirmed and you made other plans for the evening.
ANON
Thanks ivy, no I won’t text, been reading here long enough to know not chase him!! I’m keeping my fingers crossed he does cause we both seemed to hit it off!! I feel another let down coming on!!! Never mind he has til lunch tomorrow
Ali
I dated a man guilty of doing this. To him, the plans were set so he could wait till later that day to set the time and place. Drove me crazy! Some people are planners, others are not. In my experience though, the men who were more serious about me set a for sure time and place in advance as they were more mature. the last minute and sponataneous guys were just looking for fun or not sure about me.
Since its only date 2, I’d wait for him to text you. I’d give him till mid afternoon on Saturday. When you’re on the date (because I am positive you will hear from him) you can try to mention you’re a planner and would like to know set plans more in advance. Maybe do so when he mentions getting together again?
Lane
Hi Anon.
I would wait until he nails down a place and time. He may still be working and/or have some tasks he needs to accomplish and when he has a moment will go on line, check out theaters and times, and get back to you. Men are singularly focused, so you have to be patient with them.
Mine thankfully CALLS (we both hate texting) and if he says “MAYBE we can go out on…” I never call it a date and make plans if he hasn’t called within 24 to 48 hours. But when he says “LET’s go out Wed., I’ll give you a call to let you know what time I’ll pick you up (he always does)…” then I KNOW its a date and he won’t bail on me—he really is one of those rare men who keeps his word consistently!
Although I believe its a date since he called to ask what movie you want to see, I wouldn’t start freaking out or worrying about it because you’re a confident lady who can make plans on the fly because she lives her life without waiting around for a man to call :-)
ANON
Thanks for the advice ladies! My intuition is telling me this ain’t happening but then again who knows!! Already making contingency plans in case he flakes on me. Weird how many times this happens, the dating game is a total minefield these days!! What happened to meeting someone, becoming a couple and getting married without all this carry on over who chases who,, initiating contact, having the exclusive talk etc…its enough to drive u crazy!
ANON
He messaged….through the dating site this morning. Supposedly left his phone in his works van the day before…..hmmm, ill give him the benefit of the doubt this time, so date still on!
Talllady
Stop making up stories. Men have till 3 day of to secure plans. He doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt because you should have never doubted him to begin with. And even if he flaked, that says way more about him than you. It is always best to assume that men like you and will follow through.
ANON
Eh???? How am I making up stories???
Talllady
The story that he will flake or is not interested…. The story that. He needs the benefit if the doubt. There should have never been doubt. Just go and have fun, sweetie… Assume he likes you…
ANON
Ah, ok, I get it now!!! I went we had fun but he is so not in the place for a relationship. Going through a divorce. We had a good laugh though, nice guy.
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