Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Ex texted me after no contact
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Reader.
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Anon
My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. I hadn’t contacted him since and he deleted me off social media. Just yesterday he texted me saying that he read my blog, agreed with some points I made on it, then said “I hope you know I think of you often and only good things come to mind”, then said he hopes I’m doing well and nice work on my blog. I was busy and didn’t really know how to respond, so it was about 6 hours later when I got back to him. I told him thank you for the feedback, that I think of him too, and I hope he is also doing well. It was later at night when I responded and I haven’t gotten a text back yet and it is now the morning. I’m not sure why he even reached out in the first place. I was just getting over him and now the wounds are opening back up. Was he just being nice, or could he be missing me? Or am I reading too much into it?
Laura
He may be testing the waters but he’s not asking to work out issues…
My advice is trust in time…the problems that led to the break up still exist…taking time to work through them on your end will be beneficial mostly to you and your healing process…
Focus on you and your happiness for a little longer…I wouldn’t have responded to him…future talks need to happen at minimum over the phone but only with some more time passing by since this affected you so much still…
Good luck.
Lane
He’s just testing you. You stroked his ego by letting him know your thinking of him too, you fed it, so he’s off doing his thing again.
I would have put a block on his no., or renamed his contact name to “Don’t feed the Animal”.
This is why you don’t break NC because then you go back to DAY 1. There’s a reason why you start out at 30 days, because it gives you time to wean yourself and make it easier to go the next 30, and the next 30…until he’s out of your mind.
Don’t feed his ego again and give yourself time to heal.
Maria
He is going to reach ou to you again, maybe tryin to gradually get you interested again. what were the reasons for your berakup? who initiated it? In many cases exes want to have easy acess to sex while looking for something new, in manycases they simply miss you, but this does not mean they really want to work on thigns. Do not allow him to torment you. Make sure you talk to him only if he is aasking you to get back together and wiling to work to get it.
Fruit
They’re called breakcrumbs.
reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/comments/2u8atf/breaking_no_contact_how_to_respond_to_breadcrumbs/Fruit
*breadcrumbs, sorry.
Meemee
Anon – your ex obviously is having some 2nd thoughts about the break up…. And you did the right thing resonding after 6 hours. Next time, wait 2 days…
Let him realize that you are open to reconsider things, but you want to be extra cautions because the break up.
Sit tight, and good luck…..
Meemee
Live your own life, continue to date other guys in the meantime….He should be your lowest priority now…
Jenna
Who cares what he wants or why he’s contacting you? He’s an ex for a good reason. Ignore his message and move on.
Lisa
Unless the man asks to see you and talk, I find it pointless to talk via text or even get worked up about receiving one.
Anon
We broke up because he said he didn’t see me in his future. That he likes me but when he looks at the future I wasn’t there. It just seemed weird that he would reach out to me,then when I respond he doesn’t text back. I mean I guess I didn’t give a response to really carry on a conversation but why would he go out of his way to text me if he didn’t want to talk?
jenna
Anon
How long have you guys been dating?M
Men do what they want, in general. He wanted to text you, so he did. He didn’t want to respond, so he didn’t. I’m sure he does miss you, but that doesn’t mean things have changed for him about the long-term.
Sorry the wound has been re-opened. Trying to figure out why people do what they do is a recipe for more suffering. He did what he did, and you can’t control his behaviour. He might not even know why he reached out. All you can control is how you respond. It may be a good idea to already know in advance what you will do if he reaches out again. Also, what tools you will use to cope with the feelings that come up.
Hugs
Jo
He could have been bored.m if he phone called upon you then that would take effort and mean something. Meeting can be done while you’re waiting for a tooth to numb at the dentist office. I would read anything into it.
Jo
I meant a phone call would have meant effort. Texting is lazy and easy. It’s easy to text and it can be done anywhere. He could have been bored and waiting for his tooth to numb at the dentist. So decided to kill some time on text.
Anon
We weren’t together for long, only 5 months. But he unfollowed me on all social media after we broke up, and just today he added me back on Instagram and liked my pictures. I have no idea what his intentions are
Reader
We also don’t know what his intentions are, but since he is the one who does not see you in his future, it’s fair to say he still feels that way. Three weeks did not change that.
Stop worrying about what this could mean. It means nothing unless you want it to mean something. Ignore him next time and go back to no contact.
If he reaches out to you by phone, or wants to see you in person then and only then should you bother to even engage in any conversation with him, and even then do not assume he wants more. let him show that he is pitting in effort. Be very cautious of him until you feel he is being honest and sincere in getting back together.
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