Would you want to know?


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice Would you want to know?

This topic contains 19 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Eric Charles 1 week, 6 days ago.

Viewing 20 posts - 1 through 20 (of 20 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #933350 Reply

    Nellie

    Ladies, would you want to know if you partner is lying to women about being single?

    #933353 Reply

    Raven

    Yes… What is the backstory regarding your question?

    #933355 Reply

    Nellie

    Been talking to a guy online, told me he was single but later I found out it was a lie, immediately told him to piss off.

    So I’m here asking, would you want to know if your partner is acting single even it’s just online.

    #933356 Reply

    Raven

    There are several thoughts about this…

    Personally, I would want to know & have been in this situation- sort of. I knew there was something fishy going on & then found out myself.

    Others are, it’s nonya…

    #933358 Reply

    AngieBaby

    So are you thinking of doing some detective work and ratting him out to his partner?

    That gets discussed here periodically. The bearer of bad news gets executed. Think very carefully before you go contacting his wife or GF – it’s very possible she won’t believe you and you’ll look crazy. It’s not your business or your problem. The blowback on you could be messier than you think. If you think you can do it anonymously, it’s highly possible your message will be disregarded.

    #933359 Reply

    Nellie

    AngieBaby,

    No need detective work, I have screenshots of him telling me he’s single.

    Yep that’s what I’m thinking, I know many women would choose not to believe despite provided solid evidence, and blame other women instead. There’s a reason why cheating men are still thriving.

    #933366 Reply

    Kash

    I would personally appreciate any lady that rejects my boyfriend/husband because she finds out he is committed and also comes and shares solid evidence of his treachery with me. Two things being key here: You stop interacting with the guy the moment you find out he is in a relationship and you should definitely have solid proof. That’s my personal choice tho. Most women tend to believe their guy over the other woman because that’s easier.

    #933377 Reply

    Gaia

    Some women do not care how much proof you have. If it makes you feel better tell her, send proof and then never interact with any of them again. Including the woman. Ask yourself, why would you want that drama in your life? Thank the universe for allowing you to find out early on so you didn’t get attached and can move on to a better, healthier relationship with a man who isn’t a cheating scumbag.

    #933396 Reply

    AngieBaby

    I meant detective work to find his GF or wife and how to contact her.

    #933400 Reply

    Nellie

    I know her Instagram. Her profile picture was them holding hands, that’s how I found out.

    #933405 Reply

    Amy S

    Difficult one definitely. If it was me
    I would
    Definitely
    Want to know I was being taken for a fool but men tend to be very good
    At wriggling out of the blame and it all gets turned around and suddenly it’s all your fault. It’s up to you. Is it
    Worth it or
    Can you just walk
    Away happy in the knowledge it’s not
    Your problem.

    #933418 Reply

    Nellie

    Thanks ladies for the replies.

    Decided not gonna do it because:

    1) many women would choose to blame the wrong person. *insert don’t-touch-my-garbage meme*

    2) he might be very good at twisting the story and make himself a victim.

    #933420 Reply

    Tammy

    Gud decision

    #933421 Reply

    AngieBaby

    Good choice.

    I once saw a good friend’s longtime boyfriend out in a bar with another woman, holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc. Full on romantic contact, no mistaking it. He didn’t see me, I was on the other side of the room and I was able to get out without him knowing I was there. I agonized over whether to tell my friend and finally decided I should because I’d want to know if the tables were turned and I wanted to be a loyal, supportive friend. Wrong decision. She made excuses for him and said I must have been mistaken or misinterpreted what I saw. She checked with him, he lied and she stopped being friends with me over it. Couple of months later I heard through mutual friends she caught him red-handed and dumped him. But she never came back to be friends with me again.

    The point is, you dropped him like a hot potato when you found out he was in a relationship. That was the right thing to do, and that’s all you’re responsible for, your choices and behaviors.

    #933423 Reply

    Nellie

    Angie,

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    Woo-hoo now I hope his woman gonna catch him red-handed somewhere down the line LOL

    #933429 Reply

    AngieBaby

    Since he’s out trolling for women and claiming he’s single, he’ll get sloppy and make some mistakes that will give away what he’s doing at some point, for sure. The question will be whether she’s willing to see it and stand up for herself or if she’d rather turn a blind eye to stay in the relationship.

    #933434 Reply

    Mary

    My advice is you don’t need the drama.

    #933463 Reply

    M

    Great conclusion ladies. I totally agree with you and can share my own story.

    I once had a crush on someone who was married. Naturally I had no intention of acting on it, but he started making very inappropriate moves once he sussed out I liked him.

    When I found out he’d actually been having real affairs with other women I was shocked. I actually asked him what his wife would think if she knew what he was like. It was an online conversation and there was no other context in that particular conversation preceding my question giving away what I was talking about. He said “I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

    I said, ok I thought that’s what you’d say. And left it at that.

    Problem solved you’d think.

    Nope, next time I see him, I come across his wife first. She’d been waiting for me and starts laying into my (verbally). Apparently she was present during the online conversation, and wanted to know what was going on between me and her husband.

    It was a horrible situation. I’d not even done anything wrong and had actually had her at the forefront of my mind the whole time.

    I ended up leaving the organisations we were all a part of because I was done with both of them. I found out later he’d spread rumours about me having a history of false allegations against men.

    20 years later, she’s still with him I believe.

    I feel sad for her now actually writing this. I might pray for her tonight. That’s as far as I’ll ever get involved in anyone else’s rubbish ever again.

    #933464 Reply

    Kathy

    Great story and example M! We finally learn at some point not to get involved in other’s rubbish. And that’s just what it us and not worth our time. Great point and story!

    #933470 Reply

    Eric Charles
    Keymaster

    This is a bit shocking to hear, but for many women the line in her marriage is not “don’t cheat on me” but rather “don’t get caught cheating and embarrass me”.

    People outside the marriage can’t wrap their head around it. They think if a guy was cheating, she must not know and she’d want to know.

    But by bringing it up, they’re crossing the actual line: Social embarrassment.

Viewing 20 posts - 1 through 20 (of 20 total)
Reply To: Would you want to know?
Your information:





<blockquote> <code> <pre> <em> <strong> <ul> <ol start=""> <li>