Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Why does he invalidate my feelings
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 4 years, 2 months ago by
Jo.
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Spaghetti Carabonara
Soooo long story short, bf kept liking millions of girls pics (girls he matched on tinder), like allllllllll day, every day. Stalker to admit, not proud, but it was excessive to like 100 pics a day almost.
We spoke. I told him I didn’t like this at all.
At the time? He called me insane. Made a huge deal out of it. I old me it’s what every guy does etc. made me feel worthless, zero reassurance from him and eventually apologised.Things was getting better.
Months go by and he’s all good…
I checked on his Instagram and he’s back to liking all these girls pics again. I say to him, and send a screenshot of you….(it’s a girl he slept with when travelling)…I say to him…this isn’t ok.
He replies “get a f******** grip. She’s just a f******* pal. This isn’t healthy at all”
Like I get this isn’t healthy me checking up on him, but it honestly makes me worry and think he will cheat on me and stuff. He knows I hate it and the way he handles my feelings when I voice my feelings really gets to me. It’s like I am always in the wrong for voicing how I feel, when I do? He makes me feel insane, often and I’ll say “you need help” or “are you drunk” then once I talk to him on how I feel? He then gives me the silent treatment!
Why is he so cold
Raven
Why are you still with this guy?!
Colleen
So? Hes a jerk, no, hes your jerk. You can’t change a man. But you can choose a better man. Grow a pair, or else quit whining.
kaye
When you say, a girl he slept with when travelling, I seriously hope you mean before he met you!! Otherwise, you shouldn’t still be with him if he’s already cheated on you!! But from what you wrote it sounds like you’re being incredibly jealous and insecure and controlling and that’s going to drive any man away from you. I can’t even imagine if I liked one of my ex boyfriend’s pics on facebook and my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of it and told me that wasn’t ok!!! I would tell him he needed to get a freaking grip and this wasn’t healthy at all just like your BF did!! You can’t go around stalking him on social media and telling him which pictures he can and cannot like. And if you seriously think you need to voice every “feeling” you have which goes through your head then you really need to learn to filter what comes out of your mouth. You don’t have to react to every single emotion which goes through your head during the day. If you don’t trust your boyfriend then dump him. But if this is how you are going to monitor every guy you date like a prison warden then there’s a point when it’s your problem and not theirs.
Elsa
Spaghetti Carbonara (yummm), I’m telling you, please get out of this! Others could bash you and call you crazy but trust your gut. I say that there’s no smoke without fire.
He sounds like one of those guys who always has other women waiting in line. I also used to date a man who was very active on Instagram, liking pictures of his female “friends” all the time. Turns out they were his “exes” (girls he hooked up while traveling as well, tinder hookups etc etc) and he wasn’t just liking their pictures. My gut told me this and I also brought it up to him and I was also gaslighted. But I was right.
I would tell you be with a man you respect and trust. Can you respect and trust this fellow? Sounds like no. Don’t make excuses for him but also don’t feel too bad about yourself. Yes, you chose him but it’s time to un-choose him as it’s not a healthy relationship for both of you. Take it as a learning experience to be with a man you don’t have to be anxious about. Wish you all the bestJo
I don’t think your reaction is over the top at all, but the main issue is the way he talks to you. He has zero respect. You should dump him.
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