What should I do?

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  mama 1 month ago.

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  • #814447 Reply


    Hi! I want to ask for an advice.

    Well, our situation was we were casually dating for months. Then, by accident, we lost communication. However, after a month, we reconnected accidentally, too. When we talked by accident, at first, we don’t have any idea that we were talking to each other. At that time, he told me a story, not knowing that I was the one he was talking about. Same goes with me.

    He started to tell me a story that he really regretted.

    He said that there’s this girl he was talking to, like they video called, called and texted each other, because of this pandemic they can’t meet up just like how they used to.

    So at that time, their internet connection was s***y (we’re from a country where the internet is really unreliable) so that made him decide maybe this is the time to have a fresh start, so he changed his phone and also his number, he deleted his social media accounts to have a break from the world. He wanted to do that because he said that his old phone had a lot of bad memories (maybe because of his father’s death) except for the girl that he was casually dating, yet, not realizing that his old phone and number was our only way of communicating. Then when he wanted to talk with the girl, he realized that he cannot communicate with her again. So he said, no choice but to move on. When he was talking about the girl, he really felt so sad and all. He had regrets and also said that the girl was his “the one that got away”. Fast forward, when he was telling me the story, anonymously, I realized that we had the same experience, so I started to ask about the girl she was talking about. I let him describe the girl, and turned out he was talking about me. So I said that it was me whom he was talking about. And then he felt happy, same with me. We caught up about everything. But after that, he said , he doesn’t like to chat anymore. Even his friends don’t chat him unless it’s about school announcements (we’re in college now, near graduation). So I let him. Because I think he needs space. But at random parts of the day, we still chat.

    Days after this event happened, he said that he doesn’t feel the same way anymore. So I was hurt, because I still like him, but I never told him that I’m hurt. I just told him that I, too had regrets. We stayed as friends now. He’s the one who told me that I can always message him anytime, but when I messaged him, I always got short replies, so I decided to not bother him anymore. What should I do about this? I am just worried because he was the type to not tell if he’s going through something, even to his friends. I was the only one he opened up to. Hope that you can help me!

    #814481 Reply


    What should you do?
    Do nothing…

    This guy is a mess…

    #814511 Reply


    This guy needs a therapist or a life coach, not a girlfriend. Do yourself a favour and stay away.

    #814540 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    I’m sorry but your story is very strange. How do you “accidentally” lose contact with someone you “casually dated” for months, then “accidentally” reconnect, without knowing who you are talking to?

    Have you even met this guy in person? It sounds like you just video chatted. If you knew him in person, why not stop by his house if you could not reach him? If you only knew him through the internet and not in person– you were not dating.

    Any guy who suddenly decides to change his phone number and delete all his social media without informing you, and stop communicating with you, does not care about you. It’s that simple. It has nothing to do with bad memories.

    #814546 Reply


    Flowery words with no consistency or action means nothing. All words are boring. Next. Stop contacting him. You are not friends. Stop telling yourself that.

    #814562 Reply


    I don’t believe this story. No guy who is chatting with another girl he wants to date or whatever this story is, goes on and on about another girl from his past and with such regret.

    This is either completely made up by someone w/poor command of English, or a fantasy of how they wish things to be after someone completely blocked them from life.

    Use this time to move on and get in a better place, mentally and emotionally. This is not helpful to you.

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