What it means when he says this?

Thank you so much for responding.

He told me “Maybe because you’re pretty and I expect these situations” but then he said ” Lately the vibe just don’t feel right.” And in my head I’m like what? Lately things gas been way better in fact.

I thank you for your response because i do realize that this really has nothing to do with me. And I told him so politely.

I guess the next question now is how do you handle trust issues and insecurities in a partner?

Women rally need to stop sharing everything with their man especially if it has to do with other men.

I would have answered no, because once a guy has an image in their head, its difficult for them to get it out haha. Seriously, they are bigger white elephants than we are!

I learned this lesson when I was married to my ex-husband, in about our 4th year of marriage. He asked me about a guy as he had heard something from someone else. I told him it was nothing, yet it continued to bug him, and kept pestering me about it! It got to the point where I told him, in a very direct, serious, no-nonsense tone “that if you don’t trust me, then there is no us! I will pack my bags, and take the kids back to the States (we were stationed in England at the time) because I will not stay in this marriage if you can’t trust me.” He knew I meant it, ended the interrogation, and never brought it again in the 20+ years we were married.

On the flip side, it could be that he’s guilty of something? He could very well be trying to make YOU look like the guilty person, when its really him. Is he the one really hiding something but projecting it on you so to allay his own guilt?

I wouldn’t pussyfoot around it. Get to the bottom of it by asking him how he all of sudden came to ask these questions or feel this way? If he said it was just *a feeling*, then I think he’s the one who may be hiding something because men don’t have strong intuition, like ladies do, where they operate more on facts; something they’ve seen, are seeing, or heard, for it to come out of the blue like that. I would also ask if he’s hiding something because you find it really odd that he’s bringing this up now, as oftentimes, the guilty party tries to deflect their cheating by accusing the other of it.

Have a frank and honest discussion with him about it, because if you try to avoid it, like cancer, it will grow into a bigger problem if you don’t nip it in the bud now. Just talk to him, and try to gain some clarity as to what’s going on with him, as he may be trying to lead you to breakupville because he’s the one who isn’t being trustworthy?

I agree with laine.

But it sounds like he might be losing interest and trying to project it onto you to find a problem. His behavior is already very passive and indirect, and immature. Never have these conversations by text. And stop chasing him which is rewarding him when he acts like a child….

Thank you all.

I’ve been trying to meet up with him for that talk but he told me he’s bringing his younger sister *somewhere*. He use to drop her to places so nothing new. And it checks out as well. However, it’s getting late now and I’m not getting a hold of him.

It’s rainning heavily also, so I’m not sure what he’s really doing. He doesn’t like to be pressured because that’s when he shuts down. I’m trying not to think the worst and just wait it out.

I won’t lie but he is acting strange. Maybe he is avoiding the talk. So frustrating especially when I just want to communicate and not make any drama.

Violet, pump the brakes and let him find you, then say what you need to say!

You should never apologize for being desirable. You’re beautiful and it makes him insecure, not your problem. Still, I know you care for him so you want to comfort him naturally.

Just remember, you can’t control his confidence. All you can do is comfort and see if it helps. If not, it’s his insecurity to overcome, not yours!

Violet, its too early to know if its a problem or not. Just because he acted normal doesn’t mean he’s still not thinking or wondering about it. I would at least make a *mental note* of his behavior and if he makes another statement then you need to address it, right then, not a day or so later because ignoring the BIG ELEPHANT standing in the room, isn’t doing you any favors.

I understand a man’s insecurity when they have a beautiful/good looking woman; and may be worried or concerned that another man could come by and snatch her away because I’ve been snatched away quite a few times when I met another man I liked better, so its a real fear that he may have experienced and a legitimate concern. Your relationship appears to be new as you didn’t state how long you’ve been together, so it could be a twinge of insecurity or something he heard or seen, that’s making him question you. How long have you been together its kind of hard to know which one it might without having that information.

Seems you have a good barometer of his behaviors which is a big part of getting to know each other. It could be a *one off* and a non-issue, or it could be something he’s grappling with. Again, too early to tell; whereas if he doesn’t bring it up again, then its probably a small twinge of insecurity that he worked out on his own, which is what you want, as it builds safety, security and trust.

Sounds like you have a good guy and relationship—may just be a little hiccup that works itself out, which is what you want, as it makes relationships so much easier :o)