Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › we broke up and i want him back
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 1 year, 6 months ago by
Mary.
-
AuthorPosts
-
lo
my bf and i were together for just over a year. we both fell madly in love with one another very quickly. we have differing opinions on time being spent together. i grew up thinking you spend all of the time with the one you love, he grew up thinking you spend time together but you also spend time apart. that was the sole thing we fought about but it did happen repeatedly. he also works 6p-6a and a very rotating schedule. his friends family and i all work average 8-4 jobs. in our breakup he told me he loves me he just doesnt see an end to our constant struggle. he held me every single time i cried during the break up, he kissed my forehead, he hugged me, he told me he loved me repeatedly. he told me that if he realizes he made a mistake he will swallow his pride and reach out. we talked about marriage, we talked about kids, we talked about buying a house and moving in together, closer to both of our jobs ( we work 10-15min from eachother, but i live 45min from that area). this man is the man i want to spend my life with and all i want is to get him back. i am going to do the no contact and strt working out again. i just wonder if anyone has been in a similar situation and how it played out?
Raven
You MUST have friends & other interests outside of your relationship, you MUST!
Why do you need his constant attention?
Ewa
What do you mean start working out again ? You stopped because of him ? Never do that for a man no matter how much you love him!
You should have your own life outside of relationship , it’s normal and it’s healthy.AngieBaby
Yes, I had a BF once who believed the same as you and I was of the viewpoint of your ex. It is very suffocating and off-putting to be with someone who needs that level of together time. One time we had a minor disagreement and I said, OK, I’m going to the gym to let this cool off and he ran and got his gym bag and said, I’ll come with you. He got over the top offended when I told him no, the point was I needed some time to myself to process the conversation. And that caused a bigger disagreement. He turned into a Stage 4 clinger and wore me out after about 7 months. My friends and family voiced that they were relieved when I broke up with him. He had pushed me into accepting a promise ring and was angling for a wedding date and he didn’t handle the break-up well. I was glad when he moved to another city.
Take this time to reconnect with yourself and learn how to be content on your own. You’ll be a lot more attractive as your own person, not trying to latch on to a man.
Maddie
What would be different if you got back together? You are having a major incompatibility issue. These problems do not magically disappear just because you may want them to. If you got back together after not speaking to him and working out, it doesn’t at all address the reasons you broke up so it would just repeat the same way.
Just because you grew up being told one way was the “right” way to do things doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think it through for yourself as an adult. If all you wanted was to spend time with him and now all you want is him back, then he completely controls all your happiness and you have no say in it! Because you have given up on having any say in your own happiness. Please consider what other posters are saying about making sure you have your own life and can meet your own needs. You are currently describing codependency, which is not what most people are going to want in a partner, and doesn’t even sound like it really makes you happy…
Tammy
Yes u shld start working out again if you had taken a break. Will help you feel positive and generally good abt yourself.. additionally also try pickin up other activities that you liked doing before you startd dating this guy. Start socialising, go out with friends, meet family relatives etc. Just keep yourslef occupied.
You may want to get back with him.. but problem is thats not just your decision.. he decided he wants to break up so unless he wants to retry or give things a shot nothing much you can do.. attempts made by you to reconnect with him will just make you luk desperate and clingy.
You should also take this time to figure why is it that you think all couples shld spend all their time together. From what you wrote above, its easy to understand why he broke off. Have you thought about this issue? Which was the main reason for your breakup. Even if you guys decide to give things a shot again, how do you think you will handle this issue?
All i can suggest is that you shld take this time to think, reconnect with things that you had given up and that includes yourself. Also figure just what makes you want to cling to a man 24×7? Think over things.
My suggestion is to work on yourself. You cant get back together with him unless he makes a move. You hv to try and work on yourself.
Nellie
“spend all of the time with the one you love”
Better find a man who also believe the same thing.
Kash
I was just like you. I believed the couple should spent most of their time together. But that’s not how it works. You need to have your own things to do and interests outside the relationship or one person ends up controlling your life. You have to have a life. And he has to be a part of it. Not all of it.
Mary
I don’t see how married persons do it. I am currently not married and in a committed relationship. It feels much better than when I was married (Yawn). I do agree that I like my alone time far too much, more than I likely should, but does allow for romance, too. Oxygen to the fire! I think you need stillness of the mind because you are clinging on to him for your happiness.
-
AuthorPosts
