Trauma from past relationship

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Mary 8 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #940911 Reply


    I need advice. I was married to a gaslighter for 20 years. Years of emotional, physical, and mental abuse my entire life has screwed my up. I’m in an amazing relationship now. We actually started as FWB because both of us were scared of relationships, but we became best friends and then realized when we tried to stop the fwb we actually fell in love. My problem is, things are great. He tells me he loves and misses me. He text daily. We talk all the time. We are together as much as we can be. (I’m a single mom with three teenage kids at home/different schedules etc..) but I’m unconsciously driving myself crazy thinking he’s going to leave me. Whenever i see him active in fb I’m like who’s he messaging? Does he want someone younger or more attractive? Is he flirting with women at work. He knows about my fears. We have talked about it several times. He’s even said he hopes to be the one to break me from the fear and cycle I’m always in. He’s always the one who mentions getting married in the future. Building a house together. So why can’t I believe him. I’m driving myself crazy and can’t seem to just enjoy our time together. Live in the moment. Trust him. I need advice please. I don’t want to ruin our relationship because of my fear and trust issues. Please help.

    #940912 Reply


    Please find a therapist to help you move through this… Good Luck ❤️

    #940914 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    Raven is right. You have taken a huge step in recognizing the problem and wanting to address it, so you should be proud of yourself for that. But a professional can help you dig into the issues and move past them. Good luck!

    #940954 Reply


    I wise make sure that my social media is completely separate from my bf’s. You want to do that because you already suffer from insecurities.

    #940955 Reply


    I really don’t think that you’re ready for a relationship and I feel the wise thing would be to let him know that you need time to yourself in order to grow and that you will be in touch and believe me he will only be respecting you for doing so. There us no fear in doing that because that which is meant to be will happen.

    #940956 Reply


    When your mindset is that it would be his loss, then you are recognizing your own value and ready for a relationship.

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