This topic contains 1 reply, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Lane 1 month, 2 weeks ago.
August 3, 2020 at 1:01 am #799345
as we are approaching five months of covid im a bit unsure how to deal with dating nowadays. I think the last time i posted in here was in june regarding, a guy who WAAAY too soon wanted me to meet his parents (After one date), anyway that ended rightfully so. I am entering my senior year of college in September, still going back to “campus” but living off campus, own apartment for the first time i am very excited.
Since March, and for another month till move in, i have been living at my parents. I am happy to help, i have been working from home with a great internship forty hours a week from a laptop, and am incredibly lucky compared to some other students. Yes, i do feel displaced though since i was ready to tackle mingling, hobbies, bar & restaurant scene more, to date around, and that was all taken away, and as others try to go back to semi normal with dating i just cannot, as i feel as if its not the right time or place to do while at my parents. My dad is terminally ill, and my mom is 60, so i would never forgive myself if i brought back covid,even from a socially distant date. Also, feel like i have 0 privacy whatsoever. I have been vocal about this to some guys i have talked too online (hinge primarily), once they ask to meet (usually in a park completely reasonable, i immediately say no and stop talking to men who mention “home dates”, as im looking for a boyfriend not really a fwb thing), and MOST have been polite, nice & understand my worries but some slow fade, which is ok it happens. some have shown willingness to wait to meetup, when i am back in the city back on my own, outside of my parents.
My sex drive has been ridiculous for a 21 year old girl, i honestly had to ask my gynecologist two years ago if it was normal to be this horny all the time lol. She said it was, just sometimes i feel out of control. I only mention this because I have a strong desire, after five months of being cooped up with my parents in the suburbs, barely any friend time even, i cannot seem to get a good idea about some of these guys im talking too. I usually have a better time gaging them, filtering them out, but i miss having sex & feel like at this rate i cannot think about “dating” with a clear head? I hate casual, i made a pact with myself a few years back, after getting hurt and crying all the time to 1) put my guard up a bit more and 2) do not have sex with guys who show so little care for me, and i at least want to have sex with some exclusivity.
Felt like I needed to provide some background to get to my point of tips on how to manage this? I have one guy, since march has been sweet, funny nonsexual over texts and calls and wants to have nice dates, great! Cool! Something to look forward too! Then obviously, i do not want to stick my eggs all into one basket, so i have a few others i have been talking too. This one says he wants something serious, says he really likes me, says he does not just want only sex, wants something long term, yet makes suggestive comments later about sending photos and videos back and forth, giving me compliments, saying how i turn him on? Its been so extremely wishy washy over this past month that im ready to just back off. im like how does this guy like me when we have never met?? He says he “only wants” me?? Makes zero sense. Why lead me on saying he wants something serious, then immediately make sexual comments towards me. At least i have dealt with guys who say straight up they want sex, we talk about our lives in general, i say i want something serious, then we wish each other good luck and move forward…those i actually have more respect for!! he has mentioned going out on dates, before getting sexual, but like..why mention it all type of thing? Point of all of this, is that i am horny, sorta caving into this hot & coldness due to absolute quarantine fatigue. I do not have any decoding glasses on right now, as i am clouded by stress from my family, moving around, the country in a crisis, trying to keep a daily routine, planning out things and my sex drive. Texting these guys was just supposed to be fun, and lighthearted and now i feel all fuzzy.
Thank you for reading this (whoever has).( I hope we can make it out of this pandemic safely)August 3, 2020 at 9:50 am #799390
Just get a *jack rabbit* to handle your sex drive :o)
You have your head on straight for someone who’s 21 so that’s great! I would stop indulging in men who are wishy-washy unless your just looking to entertain yourself then go ahead and toy/play with those guys until you’re in a position to actually meet men in person and have something to actually work with, then take it from there.
Take the word *serious* out of your vocabulary! Look at the synonyms for the word serious and then come back and tell me why you want such a dour relationship? All you should be looking for is a man that could *potentially* (key word) be a great partner for YOU, and make a good team in the event it goes well. Your job at this point, since your young, is to evaluate men to see what characteristics/traits that you desire in a potential mate and how the two of you mesh (get along) as you’re looking for a guy that you will have the most long-term success with.
You will most likely experience numerous short term relationship which is what you really should be doing at at your age as its helps to improve your “guydar.” What is “guydar” its something you develop through meeting different men where you become really good at sniffing out the lemons (aka ‘wishy-washy guys) and spend less time with them and more of your time with those who possess the qualities and traits that doesn’t turn into a *serious relationship* but a “loving, enjoyable, fun and life long adventure” together :o)