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Ss.
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Sydney
I’ve been dating this guy I met online for a little over a month. We’ve been on around 6 dates. He got out of a long term relationship about a year ago and hasn’t dated much since then. He is 31 I am 30 btw
I enjoy spending time with him but I feel he’s giving mixed signals. I will say, I have been with guys before that just wanted sex but he seems more genuine than that. He actually ask a ton about me, my life, family. We’ve spent hours just talking and talking on all of these dates about hopes, dreams, fears, etc.
The reason I’m concerned is because 2 of the 6 dates have been watching movies and on those dates, he has tried to have sex. We fooled around a little but that’s it. The other 4 dates have been actual activities or meals and on those, he isn’t very affectionate, we only kissed on one of those.
The first time we watched movies and made out, etc we went on another date the following week where he was having a bad day and just really opening up about his past and why he thinks badly about love and relationships and made it seem like he wasn’t interested in them (he never flat out said that and I was too afraid to ask). He also said that we were “friends” at one point. I was mad so I agreed and said “ok, friends don’t kiss and touch and have sex then”. To which he didn’t respond and we just kept talking about other things. That days he didn’t try to kiss me, hold my hand or anything. Well the very next date which was Monday and the last time I saw him, we agreed to sushi and movies at his place where again, he tried to have sex. But the thing is, whenever I shut him down, it’s not like he keeps insisting. Oh, and that day he made another reference about being “friends”. (Sidenote: he will say little jokes about me having other men or something like that so I feel he has major trust issues or insecurities)
Am I being naive? Does he just want sex. I’ve just never dealt with a guy who only wanted sex but was also spending this much time with me and being consistent and actually really interested in my life and open with theirs. We literally are so comfortable with one another and can talk about anything. We are supposed to go camping next week and now I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I’m not looking to rush into a relationship but I also would like to know where this is headed.
cupcake
This sounds like a straight up FWB situation. Or at least he is trying to develop this into one. No one interested in a relationship with someone would refer to them as “a friend” and go on rants about how much they don’t believe in relationships and love.
Newbie
Its just 6 dates so to me its a Yes of course dude wants to have sex. For the rest he hasnt bonded enough with you to know if he wants the relationship. So you cant blame him for trying. What happens after he tries is unclear though. You have sex or not?
You on the other side seem to think that this incredible gift we humans have and its called being able to communicate is better off not used. so you sulk when he calls tou a friend. What else can he do? Its just 6 dates. For someone not rushing youre going really fast. You already want to know whats ahead. This guy seems interested in you, you like him. I dont see apparent red flags here so take the time to date him. You cant control the outcome but you can enjoy the process. Right now no one can tell you how this will endAndrea
He’s simply not interested in you romantically. If you’re looking for more than a temporary FWB, then don’t keep wasting your time on him.
Elvira
Agree with Newbie.
Ss
I wouldn’t go camping with him unless you know he will be chill and not awkward if you say no to sex. Its a prime sex opportunity…. the lack of affection on public dates feels a bit off and moaning about dating etc isn’t exactly him showing his best self so I would be wary of him and his intentions.
Be clear with your boundaries and stick to them
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